Jamie left the house for two weeks. She will be with her family.
Thorsten and I are getting ready to hit the road via Atlanta, Georgia. We will stay at Bahirah's House and spend New Year's Eve with her.
Good Bye 2010.

Christmas Time!

Hello dear blog-followers!

A new week has begun and everyone of us has been so busy yesterday:

Jamie, Johnny and I have been at the church at around 9 am to prepare the children for their skit and bake pancakes for all the hungry stomachs that have been there. Jamie spent more time with the kids and Johnny and I just fulfilled our destiny as being chefs as we have already been at the Halloween Bloc Party :-)

During the worship the three of have been honored and thanked for the things that we do in Cincinnati in the name of the church and also Katie and Parker, the student pastors.

During the skit you could really tell how well the group of kids interacts with each other and how great they work as a community of children of all kinds of age. This was very nice to see and it made the entire play even better.

After church, we three split up to just do our own things, but we quickly gathered again in our community house and it was a very pleasant time. I made a whole lot of cookies and set up the Christmas Tree and Johnny prepared our community dinner and tried to decorate our house from the outside.

This week is going to be really packed with things to do, and there is just one aim: Make it save through the Christmas Time :-) Jamie is leaving on Dec 26th and Johnny and I plan to leave on the 29th for a road trip to Atlanta to visit another BVS volunteer.

I hope everyone has a wonderful time and keeps on reading our blog!

Greetings from Cincinnati,

Thorsten

Christmas time is here

I can hardly believe Christmas is next week! Tomorrow is the big pancake breakfast and Christmas Program at church! I hope there are at least 80 people there! Bob Mentzer and I distributed flyers on Friday instead of Thursday due to the snow.

I have a pretty busy week ahead. Monday morning I’ll be at Open Door and in the afternoon I’ll probably volunteer at Krohn Conservatory until The Polar Express starts at the library at 3:30. Tuesday I have left open incase Open Door needs assistance preparing their Christmas meal. If they do not need me I’ll go to Krohn. That evening I’m going to Awaited (a Christmas program) with Michael, Mandi, and Ezra Hutchins! :) Wednesday morning I’ll either help serve the meal or distribute money and food for Open Door. At 1:30 there is a gift-making session at the library I hope to attend. Then at 4 I go to Lighthouse Youth Services WAY program. When that ends I’ll go to Joel and Abbie Miller’s house to watch their daughters while they have a date night. Thursday during the day I’m going to hang out with the Millers and at 5 I’m going to volunteer at Awaited. Friday I’m going to volunteer at Krohn all day. Saturday morning I’ll pack and that afternoon the guys and I are going to Rhonda and Christy’s house for a late lunch! Sunday I’ll teach the older children at church and then head to the airport! It will be such a blessing to spend time with family!

Please pray for my upcoming decision! I pray you all have a blessing-filled Christmas!

The Winter Finally Made It To Cincinnati

Fairly quick I had to admit to myself, that most of the people(technically everyone, except for Thorsten) within my environment are not as eager about this topic as I am and this is why I want to write about it. Maybe You share my excitement:
Last week we eventually were blessed with one/two inches of snow. It wouldn't sustain for more then a couple of days even though it was freezing cold. Soon rain made the little leftover vanish gracelessly.
Fortunately, we received a lot more last night, today and continuously tonight.
I love the crunching sound of snow, it makes when You step onto it. Watching the big snowflakes drifting down from heaven paralyzes and calms me in a gentle way. Utterly contrarily I enjoy the rush of snowflakes being pushed and bumped around by the wind. Also the moment, when the cold air slaps You right into the face and yet the reflection of the sun in the white makes all cold bearable.
Just recall one of those the first real winter days - You wake up, You open your eyes, You discover that Your whole world is covered in plain, white snow and You wrap Your cozy blankets thigh around yourself ,stay in bed and enjoy the look of it. Well, let's tell our imagination to make it a Sunday.

Regarding the houses' activities, last week wasn't that busy. We went to Xavier University on Monday, because Jamie had a caroling performance. On Friday we've been invited over for dinner to Shannon and Joe's house. Saturday we spent the day at home, to make cookies and other Christmas candy and in the afternoon we went to the Megachurch "Crossroads" of Cincinnati. It was an absolutely stunning experience for Thorsten and me. We've never experienced a worship with 5000 people in a huge hall with a stage, a band, two balconies and a pastor, wearing a red sweater, spiting and drooling from excitement and yet entertaining beside his qualities as a fountain.
This would be the time to talk about my work, but apparently I am too tired and somnolent right now, so let me catch up with that on my next post.
Peace out,
jonathan

Thanksgiving

Hello dear followers!

It is my turn again and i hope you like what i have to tell you....!

It has been a very nice thanksgiving for all three of us, Jamie went to northern Indiana with Shannon and Joe to visit Shannon`s mother. Johnny and I made a very exciting road trip all the way to New York City, Philadelphia and back to Cincinnati.

We had the pleasure to visit one of the Germans who is volunteering in Nyack, New York for this year via the organization "EIRENE" that cooperates with BVS.

It was a very special time and we have seen almost everything that you could think of when you visit New York City. The person that we visited is called Christopher Ohnesorge and his boss invited us to her house for the Thanksgiving Dinner. But we also manged to see Macy`s Parade on the same day and many more things. Overall it was a blast! We spent fantastic 4 and a half days there and we experienced a lot during this time.

As soon as I came back we had a Graduation Class at the Talbert House where I work. The celebration was set up 5 minutes away from the community house on McMillan Street and it was a whole lot to prepare for this event.

We had the biggest class since a very long time with 28 fathers that attended educational classes regarding to "being a better father" for ten weeks and were now ready to start a new beginning with their children. All theirs families have been invited for a very nice dinner and there have been a lot of emotions when every father hold their "the father i choose to be" speech.

And there is another positive thing going on right now at my workplace: I finally have an office of my own and i successfully completed two important trainings for my future tasks. I am an official Ohio Benefit Bank Counselor and I am able to work with the CATT software that the Talbert House uses.

And still, living in community goes quite well - Jamie and Johnny are great house mates I have nothing to complain about ;)

Okay, that`s it for now, but I hope you keep on following our blog and we try to update it as frequently as possible!

Greeting to everyone,

Thorsten

Craziness!

It was a very full weekend to say the least! It started Thursday night with the Cincinnati Symphony Mozart Concert. That was a memorable experience for us all. It also just happens to be where we met the people who informed us about our Sunday afternoon activity, the Germania Society Christkindlmarkt. Friday night I had an amazing treat! My aunt and uncle stopped by and took me to dinner on their way home from a funeral. It was really sad that they had to come under such circumstances, but thankfully the man who passed was a believer in Christ and will spend eternity with our Creator. As the photo shows, Saturday night we went to Balluminaria in Eden Park at Mirror Lake. It was really cool. I took tons of pictures so my nieces can see when I post them on Facebook. I got too cold but that was my own fault for not wearing enough layers. The next morning I had the joy of taking the children from church shopping for Thanksgiving fixins! The two young men below were the family group I helped.

I'm amazed that it has been four weeks since I posted! Each day I get up not knowing for sure what will happen. I go to bed realizing I have just had another opportunity to share Christ. Currently, my attitude is my focus. I want to constantly be praising God for the events I find myself participating in for this experience. I'd be lying if I said things have been what I expected thus far. I am still very homesick and I would be shocked if that goes away considering it is the time of year we are constantly bombarded with images of family. Yet there I go putting limits on God again.

;

For my community outreach I am participating as much as possible with as many organizations I can find. I spend time at the local library on Mondays most weeks because they show a movie and it gives me an opportunity to socialize with the community. I have also participated in Game Day twice and was talked into taking a turn on the PS2. Another organization I absolutely adore is Open Door Ministry. They have three outreaches for the community. Individuals can get coffee and donuts that are donated by a local bakery and have a place to sit and be warm. They also have the opportunity to get an emergency supply of groceries once a month. Finally the ministry serves as the payee for many mentally ill individuals. The time there flies and it is extremely rewarding! I am there one or two mornings a week, they are only open from 9:30 to noon. The other place I volunteered for several times in the last couple of weeks is Krohn Conservatory. Their holiday show just opened to the public on Saturday which meant opportunities to help abounded. I have an appointment to talk with the volunteer coordinator tomorrow to see what else I can help with now that it is open. There are still plenty of opportunities they are just different. I got a call on Friday from Lighthouse Youth Services and I hope to get involved there within the next three weeks. Today I got a call from Open Door, a ministry across the street from the church, and I hope to speak to their volunteer coordinator tomorrow afternoon too.

;

I cannot close this post without asking for prayers for Ben Walters and his family. In the last 8 days their son knocked out his front 2 baby teeth on a cedar chest. His youngest daughter is still waiting to hear if she has strep throat and their oldest daughter has just been moved from ICU to a regular room this afternoon after impaling her leg on her bicycle handlebars yesterday afternoon. Needless to say their planned trip to Cape Cod for Thanksgiving is out. Please remember them in this challenging time.

:

Happy Thanksgiving to all! Jamie

Transition completed!

I eventually arrived in body and mind.
Sleeping arrears have been taken care of within the first days.
Getting accustomed to the land and its cities took a little longer.
Living in the house with my mates and obtaining a way of communication,one week.
Feeling comfortable with Cincy's bus system and her streets - three weeks.
Finally being able to state, that I commenced thinking in English. Almost five weeks.
Stopped feeling homeless in a certain, irritating way. Right now.
Here, at this point, I reached my temporary destination. It will only be for one year, but I am glad to be here and I will enjoy every second of it.

jonathan

Settled down...!?

So,

Cincinnati, Ohio - call it "home"? Jamie, Johnny and I (Thorsten) finally arrived somehow in what you could call everyday life. Jamie mostly works at home but tries to get out as much as possible, Johnny has a very responsible position at IHN and is able to tell something new from work every evening, and I am still in a phase that I would describe as "shadowing".

Within the last time there have been a lot of thing going on in this BVS community house: Jamie met a lot of new people through them we have been able to see a little bit more from Cincinnati than only the skyline. The visit of the Hofbräuhaus was a very special experience - especially for Johnny and me - the two Germans in the house.

Johnny received a van with which we are somehow mobile if there is a need to reach the outskirts of Cincinnati and he is about to start something quite new in his office... he is the next who is responsible for this blog so he might tell something about it.

And I was given the chance to see DCI - a prison in Dayton, approximately one hour away from Cincinnati. I also will be able to see the courthouse the coming week and interact more and more with clients. I pretty much switch between the three divisions in my office: Fatherhood Project, Family Re-entry and Work Force....

We get to see a little bit more from Cincinnati every day and a really looking forward to the upcoming time!

So please follow us during this time and keep on reading this blog!

Greeting from Cincinnati,

Thorsten

New beginnings

Hard to believe we have been here 10 days. It has been a whirlwind!

We arrived last Saturday at 6:40 a.m. and Anne picked us up from the airport. When we got to the house Jonny and Thorsten were bouncing with excitement; I think I managed a big grin. We slept until about 1:30 and then Joe, Shannon, and Anne met at our house to exchange vehicles and for Joe and Shannon to meet us. Anne stayed and had a bite to eat with us and then we toured Walnut Hills until about 4:30. At 6:30 Ben W was at our door to take us to dinner with his awesome family.

Sunday was a great church service followed by lunch and a trip to the corn maze. It was nice to spend some extra time with a few of the children I will be involved with for the next year! Ben W's car broke down on the way so we ended up split in two groups of around 12. I had a paper to finish for my one of my master's classes so the guys fixed supper. It was really good! That night we had the pleasure of having Laura and Annette as house guests! That was a true blessing for me. I was exhausted and just needed listening ears, thank you both!

Monday was a day of exploration for me. I went through my new office and tried to stay busy as much as possible. That evening I went to Kroger and while I was there Laura called to say that she and her mom were going to a larger store and wanted to know if I and/or the guys would like to ride along. Thorsten and I went and it was a useful and productive trip. When we got back Anne was already at the house to give me the computer files I needed for my new responsibilities. (I did not budget my time quite right.)

Tuesday I had a welcome visit from Laura and Annette and we talked for a few minutes. Then I had my first meeting with Ben W at a local restaurant called Parkside Cafe. It was a great meal and a useful meeting. Ben dropped me at the post office and I walked home. That evening I made dinner for Jonny and I (Thorsten had to work late). We watched The Guardian and it was nice to relax.

Wednesday I took a tour of the neighborhood starting with the Post Office. Then I went to the Church of the Advent where I will be helping serve a community dinner this Wednesday 10.27. My final stop was at the local library branch to see what opportunities there might be for the children. That night I spoke to Anne on the phone about some more logistics of the party and we picked our Cincinnati Symphony ticket dates. Then the guys and I went downtown to T.J. Maxx. It was interesting getting home because the bus we took there had stopped running by the time we were ready to head back. Thank goodness the guys have experience with public transportation!

Thursday I spent the majority of the day working on the Halloween Block Party that is this coming Saturday from 4 to 6 p.m. (10.30.10). I sent an email to the church for the supplies that are needed. I also discovered there is an opportunity to organize waiting for me at the church! That evening Joe was kind enough to take us to another area. Jonny went to Best Buy and Thorsten and I went to Wal-Mart. I don't know when I have been so excited to go to my favorite getaway! (For those of you who may not know me as well this is not a joke. I am a simple girl!)

Friday was pretty much a loss for me. I do not know what came over me but I was an emotional wreck all day! Thankfully my grandma took the time to talk to me and remind me that I'm a child of the King and He has a plan and a purpose! That night Anne took me to Newport on the Levee and we went to see Waiting for Superman and had amazing pizza! It was a fantastic girls' night out!

Saturday I woke up and decided to pull my bootstraps up. The guys went on a bike ride so I had the house to myself again, but I made better use of it than a pity-party. I worked on devotions and Bible reading. When Joe came to get the guys I decided to ride along and they dropped me at a Panera Bread while they went to an electronics store. Shannon and Joe have a fabulous home and it was amazing to spend the evening with them. The food was phenomenal and the time in fellowship was just what I needed! We even got to experience Graeter's (a Cincinnati ice cream shop that has been in business 140 years).

Yesterday was a superb day! Church was fun! Then the meeting with Anne, Parker, and Katie was completely enjoyable. We had a wonderful house meeting! Then the guys and I went shopping for our food for the week and that was an economic success. Finally we came home and fixed supper. Then I got to watch The Amazing Race! I stayed up to post to the discussion board for my class and got to bed about 1 a.m.

Well, not sure that every time I post it will be like a journal, but it was just what I needed to do this time to know what all has gone on since we arrived. I hope people enjoy reading about what is going on in our lives. Please keep the Halloween Block Party in your prayers!

Jamie

What we leave behind

Way back in late spring I started working on trying to get a garden put in at our house. There wasn't a lot of space, most of the available space was sorta shady, and the soil wasn't exactly ideal. So, after a small plot was tilled up and a meddlesome tree branch mysteriously disappeared all I needed was dirt.

Umm, hey, dirt... Dirt?

Dirt ended up being way up on the north side of Cincinnati, barely within the city limits. Laura had located it with some help from the Civic Garden Center. There was a dump site at a small park where the city deposited their leaf debris. As the years rolled by the pile turned into a super duper mountain of composted leaf dirt that was free for the taking. Great!

Well, mostly great. How the heck was I gonna get it down to our house? We didn't have a car at the time and I couldn't think of anybody that would have been particularly excited to let me borrow their car so I could haul dirt. Who did I know with a truck...? Umm, not a whole bunch of people. I had one offer from my co-worker's husband but it ended up that he double booked homself with a family get-together. Drat.

Finally I got a solid hit. Our good friend, Bethinary Bekah, was in town for a few days in late July. She has a car - score! In exchange for some gas money and Graeter's ice cream she drove me up to the park to get dirt. Since there was no truck bed we had to put the dirt inside the car. We filled up 2 trashcans, 2 recycling bins, and 5 five gallon buckets - not too bad for her little Saturn Ion. There was a similarly sounding story replayed a few weeks later with Laura and her equally diminutive yet dependable '85 Camry. I had dirt!

Unfortunately, I had dirt at the end of July. For those of you who know a thing or two about gardening, that's not exactly the ideal time to be planting your garden, especially if it's something that takes a little longer to grow. Tomatoes would be a good example of this. Most of what I had to plant was tomatoes courtesy of Laura having extra starts from the community garden. Oh well; I took a shot at it anyway.

We had tomatoes in the front flower bed, the raised bed that I built from random lumber, and the in-ground garden in the not-as-shady-as-it-used-to-be backyard. There were other plants that went in as well - peppers, beans, potatoes, zucchini - but the tomatoes were the the most plentiful and one of my favorites. I was super excited to see them grow and produce lots of tomatoes. I had dreams of having so many tomatoes that we would be giving them away to people at church and in the neighborhood, meeting more neighbors in the process. We certainly had enough plants for it to happen, but would they mature in time to produce?

It was a rough summer for growing anything due to the heat and the lack of rain that went with it. Cincinnati collectively turned a dried-out yellowish brown. Our garden hose at the house didn't really reach to any of the flower beds or gardens (seriously, who picked that one?) so all of the watering happened by way of a doctored-up-with-duct-tape watering can. I didn't really mind lugging around the watering can; it was sometimes rather therapeutic at the end of a long day at work. The unpleasant part was the massive amounts of mosquitoes. In a drought? How did that happen? I really don't know, but it happened. ALL. SUMMER. LONG. Ugh. Stupid mosquitoes.

Sometime around late August, maybe early September, one of the tomato plants in the front flower bed gave us our first tomatoes. They weren't huge but it was a start. As the calendar crept toward the end of September the one single plant kept producing while the dozens of other plants just kinda hung out. Nada. Not even one single bloom. Finally, one day I went to water them and there were blooms. Yes, blooms! It wasn't just one plant, either; four or five plants had decided they were gonna get in on this whole "producing fruit" business. Better late than never, right?

It might have been too late, though. Our Indian summer took a break and the temperatures plummeted with the daytime highs struggling to get into the mid-60's. The tomatoes stopped growing and just kinda hung out, content to remain in whatever state this chillier weather had caught them. I wanted to scream at them, "Hurry up! Don't you know we're on a timetable here?!? I'm leaving soon and the first frost will be here before you know!" Sadly, tomatoes don't have ears so they were not persuaded.

The weather warmed up finally and the tomatoes went back to turning their little yellow starbust flowers into tiny green tomato orbs. I knew it was too late for me, though. The clock had ticked far enough past the point of hoping to see any of those little chartreuse promises turn into the reddish ripe fruits that I'd envisioned months earlier. I had known from the start that it would have been a close call as to whether or not this garden would produce anything before I left since it got started so late. Despite the one tomato that had put forth it's plum-sized bounty for the past month, I felt defeated. You can't win every time you gamble.

I kept up with watering the gardens anyway. Like I said, it was mildly therapeutic and even if I wouldn't get to see the end result I had still enjoyed the process and watching it all happen. In a way I felt like I owed it to the plants to see them through to the end of my time in Cincinnati since I had put them in the ground in the first place.

Finally I arrived at my last day in Cincinnati. Katie had already left and Laura was back in Nebraska for the week. Anne and her mom were out and about getting Anne's new apartment ready. I had the house to myself; you could probably count on your fingers how many times that happened in the past year. I needed to finish (read: start) packing for my train out of town that night but first I had something else to take care of - there was a garden that needed to be watered one last time.

As I wandered from one garden to then next I enjoyed thinking about how much these beds had transformed in the past few months. A few of the plants had never really taken off and thrived but a good number of them looked like healthy, happy flora. The sky overhead was darker than usual and the wind had picked up from earlier in the day but you couldn't smell any rain in the air. On one of my trips to fill up the watering can I stopped to talk to Carla, our neighbor, and let her know this was my last day in Cincinnati. We talked a bit about the year and what was happening with our house.

While we were talking a thought crossed my mind. I ran around to the front of the house and gathered our last six tomatoes from the one plant that had produced for us. There was also one solitary pepper on a very sad looking pepper plant around on the side. I snatched that up as well and took them around to the side fence, presenting them to Carla. It wasn't much, but it was all we had. She was receiving 100% of our pepper harvest that year and possibly the last of our tomatoes. Carla said she was looking forward to having the tomatoes on her salad the next day. I mentioned that since we were moving she could help herself to anything else that might still come in after we left. This seemed to please her as she talked about possibly making green tomato salsa or relish.

We said our goodbyes and I went back to watering the gardens. There was plenty on my mind as I was processing moving, my last day of work, what was coming next, packing, and life in general. As I emptied the last can of water on the last row of tomatoes the wind began to pick up. It was dusk and there was a slight glow in the air as the setting sun tried to push through the clouds that blanketed the sky. The yellow leaves from the thornless honey locust by Laura's window began to fly off the branches by the hundreds and the leaves from the Bradford pear joined in the dance as well. With the wind came the smell in the air that I had been missing so much: rain.

It was on its way. I put down the watering can and stood in our backyard with my arms outstretched, letting the wind and leaves whip themselves around me. As the first raindrop hit my right forearm there was a sense of reassurance that came over me. I hadn't really acknowledged it too much until now but I was worried about what would happen after I left. Would the next volunteers work out as well? What would happen to the raised bed on the side of the house? Would anybody water the plants at our old house if the frost stayed away? Who would be the back-up piano player at church for when Saundra was out of town? What if nobody at work wanted to sing with Jeanne or whistle for Georgine or remind Eve to water her philodendron?

With that one raindrop I was reminded that Cincinnati would continue on without me there. Everything would be okay. The new volunteers would learn the ropes and bring their own gifts to the house, congregation, and their projects. There would be music in the church, someone would sing with Jeanne, and the rain would come when it was needed. The four of us may have been leaving the house and our projects, but we had left plenty behind for those who were coming next. After a few minutes I picked the watering can back up and heading inside to get back to packing.

Good-bye, Cincinnati. Thanks for a year I won't forget anytime soon.

Also, thanks to anyone who followed along on our year-long venture in Walnut Hills. What a ride it has been.

Peace to you on your journeys.

Joyful Girl

Joyful Girl By Ani DiFranco

i do it for the joy it brings

because i'm a joyful girl

because the world owes me nothing

and we owe each other the world

i do it because it's the least i can do

i do it because i learned it from you

and i do it just because i want to

because i want to

everything i do is judged

and they mostly get it wrong

but oh well'cuz the bathroom mirror has not budged

and the woman who lives there

can tell the truth from the stuff that they say

and she looks me in the eye and says

would you prefer the easy way

no, well o.k. then don't cry

i wonder if everything i do

i do instead of something i want to do more

the question fills my head

i know there's no grand plan here

this is just the way it goes

when everything else seems unclear

i guess at least i know

i do it for the joy it brings

because i'm a joyful girl

because the world owes me nothing

and we owe each other the world

i do it because it's the least i can do

i do it because i learned it from you

and i do it just because i want to

because i want to

Between work, studying for LSATS, problems at home and the general chaos that occurs in the ending of things, I realize I have not been taking care of myself properly. I've made myself so sick, in fact, that I landed myself in the emergency room of Jewish Hospital this past week.

Have I learned anything from this experience? Yes I have. All my life, I have taken on other people's problems and made them my own cross to bear. I am the one suffering for it in the long run. I get disappointed, mostly with myself , when people I care about (and who I believe care about me) fail to live up to my expectations. I am beginning to understand that I soak up the good and the bad equally, like a sponge. I need to be able to filter what is and isn't important. I have always been sensitive, and this has been looked upon by others as a fault or a weakness. Maybe these people are right.

Then again, maybe they don't deserve to know anything real about me. I have shared so much of my life in the hopes of being able to meet somewhere in the middle, yet more often than not, I am standing in the middle of nowhere with not a soul in sight. I want so much to say that I'm going to stop trying to search for that elusive meeting place, but I would be lying to myself. I think that one of the most beautiful parts of me is that I am not afraid to care. I want to always be able to state for the record that I did everything I could do. If things don't go the way I hoped they would, I am going to try to accept this fact with a nod of my head. Time to move on. May the book of my heart always be open on the table for those who genuinely want to know me.

I won't forget the experiences that I have had here in Cincinnati. I have some wonderful moments to cherish, as well as hard lessons to learn and grow from. I don't want to think that being sensitive is a weakness, but rather a strength not many possess nor appreciate. A blessing and a curse. A tear and a smile. I couldn't have done the work that I do without truly caring about the lives of the women I have come in contact with. I thank God for it. Would I have done so last week? Probably not. I was in a different place then. It's amazing how just a week of experiences can profoundly impact one's outlook on life. I have been rewarded with a wonderful project and I will fondly remember the people at Talbert House/women I have mentored for the rest of my life. In saying goodbye to the women's collaborative at our last workgroup meeting today, I hope that they realized how much they have helped me to become a joyful girl in the work that I do. The world owes me nothing, but we owe each other the world. I do it because it's the least I can do, and because I learned it from my mother. Most of all, I do it just because I want to.

Washington, D.C. is waiting for me to come back, and I am ready for it. Next week when I leave this city, I hope it is a bright and beautiful autumn day. Can you imagine it?: A sky like glistening sapphires. No clouds to be seen. Well...if there must be clouds, I hope they are the soft and fluffy kind. The ones you feel like you can curl up and read a good book on. A gentle breeze to ruffle my hair. Leaves that will loosen their hold on tree limbs to dance in the wind just for me. A cup of coffee in one hand and the other waving goodbye. I want to say farewell in style. Getting on the interstate, I know that I will turn my head around, maybe even lean out of the window, for one last glimpse of the softly fading city. Yes, that's me. I've always had a fondness for last glimpses.

Your friend always,

Katie

In My Life

As I'm writing this post I'm reminded of where I was this time last year. I was at BVS orientation in New Windsor, MD trying to figure out where I should go to volunteer. Katie Baker and I were preparing to celebrate our birthdays (which we will be doing this weekend :), and all of us in orientation were getting to know one another. Little did I know how much that decision of where I would volunteer would change my life. There was no guarantee that I would like my placement, city, or the people I would be around. As it turned out, moving to Cincinnati was absolutely the right choice for me.

I've had so many interesting and eye opening experiences and learned lessons I never expected to. This past year has not been easy, and while I would change a few things that happened, I would not change where it has brought me and how it has made me the person I am at this moment. I'm thankful for the children God let me fall in love with - I'm writing this when they are in the middle of a good behavior streak! I'm thankful for the many people from all walks of life that have crossed my path, only for a moment or some for an entire year.

There are still many unknowns in my future, though some things are shaping up, but I am OK with that because life would not be the adventure that it is without unknowns. I'm choosing to walk step by step into the future smiling, ready to experience what lies ahead. What I do know is that at least for a little while I'll be calling Cincinnati home.

Peace and Blessings,

Anne

The glorious arrival of Autumn

is mellowing my emotions.

The cool, dry breeze made it's arrival in Walnut Hills today. It is purging me of nightmares of new apartments infested with bedbugs and going jobless for too long. I would take a nap in the grass if the chiggers wouldn't get me.

It has been so dry this last month that the leaves seem to be turning prematurely.
Maybe I'm turning a little early, too. My BVS term is over in a little under five weeks but I feel ready. Even though I don't have a job lined up or an apartment rented... or anything to put in an apartment... or money to buy that stuff with...whatever is waiting down the road feels more right than staying where I am.
BVS has offered me all kinds of experiences; most I never would have considered. The beginning of this new road is one I had no vision of last summer, and yet, it does feel like the right place to be.

My pieces are not falling together like Ben's, and it's a little disheartening.
But there's an element here that's very akin to what I feel when I pull into my parent's drive way after a long time away. This change feels like coming home.

I'll take the comfort while I can.
Goodness knows, I won't feel the same tomorrow.


Best,

Laura

Fitting the pieces together

In the past few weeks things have begun to click for me in the "What's next?" category. The big news is that I'm headed officially to Portland, OR (though the date of arrival is still being figured out) to live in another developing community house with some super cool people. Two of my in-the-near-future housemates were in my original BVS unit three years ago - Heather and Jon. The other housemate will be my late-night running partner from various previous encounters, Miss Chelsea. I'm really excited to see how all of this works out. West coast? Me? Really? Finally? YES!

Today is another turning point for my year here because I'm starting to get rid of stuff instead of accruing it. That's right, I'm beginning to pack stuff up and get it out of here so that I'll actually be able to fit my bags on the train whenever I get on it (and wherever it's going). I head out in less than an hour for a pretty cool road trip back to Virginia with some super exciting stops along the way. In all, I'm hoping to make at least eight pit stops or layovers with friends and family members, some of whom I haven't seen in more than five years. That doesn't even include the stay in Nokesville. I'm totally stoked.

And then there's the grand poobah of it all. On Sunday we'll be celebrating my grandpa's 90 years and turning it into a big ol' family reunion. All eight of his kids will be there as well as the majority of his 26 grandkids and maybe even all of the great-grandkids. Whatever the case, there's sure to be nummy food, harmonious music, and some good-natured name-calling. Mmm, mmm, good.

Well, it's off to go get the rental car. I hope your puzzles are all falling into place as well. Or not; that keeps it more interesting.

The Merry-Go-Round

It would be good to give much thought, before
you try to find words for something so lost,
for those long childhood afternoons you knew
that vanished so completely -and why?

We're still reminded-: sometimes by a rain,
but we can no longer say what it means;
life was never again so filled with meeting,
with reunion and with passing on

as back then, when nothing happened to us
except what happens to things and creatures:
we lived their world as something human,
and became filled to the brim with figures.

And became as lonely as a shepherd
and as overburdened by vast distances,
and summoned and stirred as from far away,
and slowly, like a long new thread,
introduced into that picture-sequence
where now having to go on bewilders us.

--Childhood by Rainer Maria Rilke


I am like a flag in the center of open space.
I sense ahead the wind which is coming, and must live
it through.
while the things of the world still do not move:
the doors still close softly, and the chimneys are full
of silence,
the windows do not rattle yet, and the dust still lies down.

I already know the storm, and I am troubled as the sea.
I leap out, and fall back,
and throw myself out, and am absolutely alone
in the great storm.

--Sense of Something Coming by Rainer Maria Rilke




It is hot...so hot. Like all of this world's warmth is pouring over you, swirling around you and burning fiercely within you. There is a searing, set, stony quality to this day. The earth is parched beneath your feet and clouds of dust envelope you as you continue forward. You look up and there you see it...bright lights in the distance. Your heart quickens in almost painful anticipation, so you pick up your pace and vainly stretch out your arms. You're not there yet, but no matter, you just hold out your arms even further. Almost there. You enter through the rusted gates, and a great spectacle of sights, sounds and smells awaits you. A carnival you were unaware of until this moment is in progress. Just when you think that you will be suffocated by the heavy throngs of the madding crowd, they part for you like the red sea. There is something here you didn't notice before. A merry-go-round, in the very center of this place, is beckoning to you. So you lift up your feet and eagerly walk towards it. This merry-go-round is the most beautiful one you have ever seen. Its animals have been freshly painted, the brass polished and glistening and the lights reflect back to you from its immaculately cleaned mirrors. You find the most colorfully-bedecked horse that you can and climb on. In a few moments, the music echoes through the air and the ride lurches to life. You are overcome with happiness for just a little while. You can't help but to notice, however, that the song it plays is not a cheerful one. If a lifetime of pain and regret could be written into just a few bars of repetitious refrain, then this would be it. You want to get off, but with dread you realize it is too late.

You continue to move around and around, coming full-circle in a dizzying whirl over and over again. There are people surrounding the merry-go-round, and you recognize them as your family and friends. Something is wrong...they are crying. Your smile of recognition freezes in place and is replaced by a cold knot of fear that begins in your stomach but rapidly spreads throughout your entire body.You have become frozen by this fear that encompasses you. Their mouths are moving but no sound comes out. You are speaking too but you can't even hear yourself. Nothing is heard but the music of the carousel that threatens to deafen you with its intensity.You frantically turn to look in the mirrors, as if they somehow hold the solution to your dilemma. They begin to ripple, but the only thing they reveal to you is your own hastily-reflected image.

You are beginning to believe that all hope is lost when the ride suddenly begins to slow. You stumble down and begin to crawl away from the carousel. You look over your shoulder and see that it is in ruinous decay. Its paint that you once compared to the colors of a rainbow, has become garish in this new light of dawning awareness. Flecks of chipped paint are beginning to settle to the earth like confetti. You are searching for those familiar faces, but somewhere along the way they disappeared, and you are now gazing into the eyes of pitiless strangers. You struggle to seek purchase on solid ground but the world has become a veritable wasteland of broken dreams and promises...your dreams and promises. They are strewed upon the ground for as far as the eye can see. You wonder how long you were circling...minutes, days, weeks, months, years? You search for a way out but the gates have vanished. You continue to aimlessly walk this foreign no-man's land. You are startled out of your reverie, and with tears streaming down like miniature rivers upon your dusty face, you know that you have become lost here. Just what you have always denied would happen has finally occurred...the doors are no longer open to you.

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This may not be you or me, but I do know people who exist here. It is the stuff of nightmares, and I willingly visit it often in my mind. In my dreams, I can clearly see a long, dark hallway with just one flickering bulb to light my way. The floorboards creak and groan with the weight of my footsteps. At the end of this hallway is a door that is always slightly ajar. I know what is behind it, and tentatively I wrap my fingers around the doorknob and push open the heavy door. Here it is, the wasteland I tried to describe to you. In slow motion I walk the outskirts, always on the periphery, trying to gain some semblance of understanding for the people I love who inhabit this plane. I sift through the rubble like a detective investigating a crime scene for precious clues. What went wrong here, I repeatedly ask myself? I search as though I can actually pinpoint some pivotal moment in these peoples' lives where everything changed for them. What a futile search. They are here because of a culmination/accumulation of misguided, and oftentimes, blind choices. These choices built upon each other until they became a ponderous chain of regret and misplaced anger that holds them prisoner here. There is a stillness that exists just before a storm, and it is always with a heavy heart that I step back through the door that is only visible to me. The floorboards just inside of the door have been worn thin with my pacing, and a sigh from the very depths of my soul escapes my lips. This is because I know I am powerless to undo their shackles and take them with me when I leave.

I have seen many kinds of people roaming this place. They ride the main attraction: the merry-go-round where they are either unable or unwilling to get off. Some are cognizant of their entrapment, while others are mournfully ignorant. Some are here because they never believed enough in their dreams...they were too afraid to bravely trace the sky. Others are here because they did try, but soon gave up because it was just too difficult. The saddest of all are those who never had a dream to begin with. I have heard some who refuse to meet life, but instead choose to shun it and call it hard names. I have witnessed the ones I love turn to drugs and alcohol in a desperate measure to capture the fleeting happiness that always seemed to elude them in their daily lives. People die everyday having lived someone else's dream, but never their own. These empty figures call out to me and gesture to me to come closer. They want me to stand in line and take a number just like them. They can't wait for others to fail so they can place a falsely sympathetic hand upon your shoulder and say "Oh well, better luck next time." They want to whisper doubts into my heart, but I refuse their siren call.

I have waded through the wreckage of other peoples' lives with my dreams still intact. Come what may, I know that I will always believe in the beauty of my dreams. The future belongs to people like that.

I have lived a lifetime in one touch, one smile, one laugh, one kiss, one embrace, one dance... They surge to the forefront of my memories yet. A long walk along a forgotten road, somewhere (anywhere) I've never been before, good food (red beets :D ), playing the piano, hearing music plain and simple, eyes filled with love, friends old and new, a good book, porch swings, studying anything historical, Gettysburg, warm beds on cold winter nights, fresh cups of delicious coffee, leaves crunching beneath my feet, kittens, Christmas trees, the sound of rain falling on a tin roof, driving through the mountains, cool breezes on hot summer days, the magic of first snow, Fall foliage, the smell of the ocean, toasts on New Year's, running for no reason at all...all of these passionate things have the power to fill me up and undo me at the same time. There may come a day when someone you care about is at a point in their life when they feel like their dreams are out of reach, and so they turn to you and ask, "What do I have to live for?" You can tell them every blessedly small and intensely moving moment that makes up what they believe at first glance to be the dull minutiae of their days. I truly believe that this is the stuff dreams are made of.

I want to leave you with a poem that gives me peace:


I would not exchange the sorrows of my heart
For the joys of the multitude.
And I would not have the tears that sadness makes
To flow from my every part turn into laughter.

I would that my life remain a tear and a smile.

A tear to purify my heart and give me understanding
Of life's secrets and hidden things.
A smile to draw me nigh to the sons of my kind and
To be a symbol of my glorification of the gods.

A tear to unite me with those of broken heart;
A smile to be a sign of my joy in existence.

I would rather that I died in yearning and longing than that I live Weary and despairing.

I want the hunger for love and beauty to be in the
Depths of my spirit,for I have seen those who are
Satisfied the most wretched of people.
I have heard the sigh of those in yearning and Longing, and it is sweeter than the sweetest melody.

With evening's coming the flower folds her petals
And sleeps, embracing her longing.
At morning's approach she opens her lips to meet
The sun's kiss.

The life of a flower is longing and fulfilment.
A tear and a smile.

The waters of the sea become vapor and rise and come
Together and area cloud.

And the cloud floats above the hills and valleys
Until it meets the gentle breeze, then falls weeping
To the fields and joins with brooks and rivers to Return to the sea, its home.

The life of clouds is a parting and a meeting.
A tear and a smile.

And so does the spirit become separated from
The greater spirit to move in the world of matter
And pass as a cloud over the mountain of sorrow
And the plains of joy to meet the breeze of death
And return whence it came.

To the ocean of Love and Beauty----to God.

A Tear and a Smile by Khalil Gibran




A friend always,
Katie

It's About the Process

There are many days lately where when I crawl into bed at night I wonder, "Why did I do all that today? Does anything I did today matter? Why am I working so hard?" I'll be honest and say that somedays what I do doesn't have an impact on anyone or really matter. However, then there are days like last Sunday that show me how much days, weeks, and months of work can pay off in a big way.

Last Sunday we dedicated four peace murals at Cincinnati COB. Yes those murals I have talked about several times over the last few months! These murals were a result of four to five months of project and curriculum planning and creation. Many nights and days were spent painting in the church basement. Taking a blank 4X8 sheet of plywood and turning it into a piece of art is a long process. You have to first teach the kids what it means to be a peacemaker, get their ideas for murals, turn those ideas into real designs, prime, draw, outline, paint with kids, finish painting, top coat, and construct frames. I cannot draw, not one of my talents, so this peace mural creation turned into a BVS house effort with Laura and Ben drawing designs and Ben and Katie helping Laura and I to paint.

Many times during the process I wanted to give up, and I did in fact scream when it seemed like there were complications at every step. All of this was worth it though when the murals went up outside the church, and the whole congregation loved them! The kids get to look at the murals and see something they helped to create, adults walking by will hopefully ponder the messages of the murals, and our neighborhood now really knows that there is life inside the church. Sometimes it takes seeing the end result to understand the need for all the steps in between. I think this is true not just for the peace mural process, but for life as a whole. I wonder now why it is such a painstaking process to find a job, set off in a new direction after BVS. I have to believe it is because I can't reach where I'm going without going step by step.

Here are some more photos of the finished murals, enjoy!







Blessings,

Anne

Like split pea soup.

After nearly a week, the fog of procrastination is beginning to dissipate.
That's why you're reading this now instead of last Tuesday.

I'm a serious procrastinator. It can appear in the morning in the form of sleeping hours past my good-faith alarm (HA!-- a perk of working from home) or in the evening when I "lose" my work folder under the bed or a pile of clothes.
The procrastination fog was so dense and soupy this time that I inevitably wasted time by looking up the definition of "waste time".
Did you know that time is only being watsted if you've finished all feasible responsibilities? If this is true, I didn't waste a second for the last week!

Sometimes it's obvious why I get stuck in the procrastination mud(scary term paper, really unappealing weather, fear of failure, etc.), but other times I can't see the fog for the fog.

Post-Cincinnati plans have been bearing down pretty hard on everyone in the house lately. We talk about it in a nonchalant way saying, "My aunt asked me what I'm doing after this is over... again...(sigh)..." or
"My friend from college is starting med school in two weeks. I wonder if she needs a roommate?" or
"Did Obama legalize visiting Cuba, yet?"

I can't speak for the other three living here, but I was feeling completely overwhelmed by trying to get all my ducks to line up in a row last week.

I had to let them flounder for a while and float myself back out into a fog of nothing. Ignoring their quacks of urgency, I stared into the misty valleys of social networking sites and the shrouded glens of alternative news. I surfaced for an hour or so to make a not-so-impressive dinner for Ben, Katie and Anne and then sunk into my bed.

It's over now.
I'm back to paying attention to work, friends, family and job searching.
The panic is gone.
This isn't very thought provoking stuff, but it has a little merit. Try it if you have the time; especially if you don't.
Sometimes you need to sit in the fog to gain clarity.


-Laura

Too Many Starfish, Not Enough Hands

I feel that my placement at the family homeless shelter has been a decent fit for me. The staff is generally supportive, the work isn’t monotonous, and it gets me out of the neighborhood where I live. Good, super, and great. Lately, though, I’ve been reminded a few times about some of the not-so-great parts of my job.


A few weeks ago I was doing an intake for a mom with six kids. Six!? Yes, six. As we were going through the eligibility discussions it came to light that she was in the process of being evicted. Ugh. This is an area where I don’t know quite as much as I’d like to so I sometimes need to involve one of the other case managers who knows the process a little better. The mom went to meet with the shelter case manager to talk about how far along she was with the eviction, why it was occurring, and all that good stuff. It ended up that she was ineligible for staying at our shelter; she wasn’t close enough to being kicked out of her house by the sheriff.

Seriously!? Here’s a mom with a larger-than-average family that currently has no income and is being evicted for non-payment of rent and utilities. She was trying to do the right thing (in my opinion) by seeking help before she disrupted her kids’ lives even more than what they were already going through. Instead, she likely ended up couch surfing with friends and relatives. It wouldn’t be too much of a surprise if she had to send her kids to different houses because they couldn’t find family and friends with enough space to have seven house guests (which probably would violate their lease and put them at risk of eviction, too).

The reason we couldn’t bend the rules is in large part because of how some of our funding defines “homelessness.” You still technically have housing until your eviction goes to court, you are ordered out of the residence, and the sheriff’s office has given you a we’re-putting-your-stuff-on-the-curb-if-you’re-still-there date. At that point you have the eviction on your record and it will come up during background checks for employment, housing, and other services. Possibly the part that bothers me the most is that we would have let her stay if she had told us she was staying at her mom’s house or at her friend’s place and not said anything about the eviction. Grr.


On Mondays there’s a meeting in Over-the-Rhine that I try to attend unless I’m doing intakes for new families. All of the case managers from the family shelters get together to discuss difficult cases, get updates on processes and procedures, and basically vote on requests for funds. One of the case managers from one of the other shelters has been working with a client for a couple months and wanted some input for how to address some situations.

This client had qualified for a program that assisted with paying her rent for her new apartment with the agreement that she must also continue to work with her case manager on a regular basis. Her case manager had not been able to get in touch with her for a while because there were some issues going on. The client’s abusive boyfriend had moved into the apartment which violates the apartment lease as well as the program rules. He was also apparently pimping her out, though the money certainly wasn’t going toward paying for utilities or rent. There was suspected drug use as well.

We talked about some safety issues regarding home visits since the boyfriend is controlling and probably doesn’t want people messing with whatever he has going on there. Maybe the client’s parole officer could require that she meet with the case manager as part of her mandatory parole compliance. There were some good suggestions and thoughts but at the end of it all it was decided that the client needed to really be the one to put forth the initiative to continue with the case management or she would be kicked out of the program.

Seriously!? She’s in an abusive relationship where she obviously is not the one calling the shots and you think she’s magically going to one day wake up and decide to get on track with the program? Ugh. I don’t believe for a second that the other case managers aren’t aware of this and they probably even have a better understanding of it than I do. We have relegated ourselves to accepting that this is how it’s going to be. It seems shameful that there wasn’t more concern for her safety and her kids. However, we can’t help everybody or we’d barely help anybody. I don’t like knowingly letting someone get lost in a situation that they don’t want to be in, but this isn’t my client and there are limitations to the scope of our assistance. It sucks.


The shelter has been a struggle to place how I feel about it after nine months. Homelessness is certainly a societal issue which needs to be addressed and I’ve learned a great deal about the struggles and mentalities of those that are experiencing homelessness or poverty. I don’t necessarily believe that the current system works. I definitely don’t believe that we can fix all of a family’s lifetime of tendencies, habits, and struggles during a month-long shelter stay. What gets me through some days, though, is believing that our shelter is helping at least a little bit. We can’t help everybody, but hopefully we’re helping somebody.

The Starfish Story

Once upon a time, there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work.

One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself at the thought of someone who would dance to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up.

As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up small objects, and throwing them into the ocean.

He came closer still and called out "Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?"

The young man paused, looked up, and replied "Throwing starfish into the ocean."

"I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?" asked the somewhat startled wise man.

To this, the young man replied, "The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don't throw them in, they'll die."

Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, "But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can't possibly make a difference!"

At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said, "It made a difference for that one."

~Loren Eiseley

You're Not Home Yet

A missionary who had served overseas for 40 years was forced to return home to the United States because his health was failing. He arrived in New York on the same ocean liner that was returning Teddy Roosevelt home from an African safari. There he saw a huge crowd at the dock waiting to give Roosevelt a grand reception. As the missionary watched the hubbub and commotion and heard the accolades and cheers of the crowd, he began to feel both envious and sorry for himself. He arrived alone. There was no one to greet him. In a fit of despair he prayed, "Lord, I've given my life to serve You as a missionary and now not a soul welcomes me home." Hearing the pain and sorrow of His servant, our gracious Father replied, "My dear child, you're not home yet!"

I want so much to remember everyday the real and true reason why I decided to join BVS. It was not out of a desire to be recognized and rewarded for the work that I do, but rather for the simple need to be a part of something greater than myself. To help others, as cliched as that may sound, was the core of what I perceived a year of service in BVS would be. What I wanted it to be. When we devote our lives to serving others, we should all strive to remember that earthly praise and glory are pithy in comparison to what lies ahead.

In regards to our lives in general, I think of how easy it is to forget that when we are surrounded by others who are praised and thanked constantly for the work that they do, and you cannot begin to fathom why this is when you do just as much. I could never understand why some people seemingly have all the luck in the world when others have to struggle incessantly for every last inch of forward ground. A few years ago, I recall crying to my mother and saying that I felt like one of the latter kinds of people. I was so physically and emotionally tired and it seemed as though I was always facing one hardship after another. There never was an end in sight, or so I thought at the time. Being the voice of wisdom that she is, she reminded me of the story of the missionary that she used to tell me many years ago... another lifetime ago. You're not home yet.

No, I'm not home yet. I can clearly bring to mind all of the hardships and struggles that I have overcome in my life, and it has only been in the last few years that I can appreciate how much better of a person I am for these experiences. How fitted I am to do the work that I do, because of the things I have been through myself. It was for a reason after all.

I never thought that mentoring women offenders would be easy. Far from it. Little did I know just how emotionally taxing it would be, however. I have stepped so far out of my comfort zone into a territory previously left uncharted. How can I describe the way I have felt these past nine months? For some time, I envisioned my life and this new experience as one who has been wandering down an ostensibly long and immeasurable, dusty road. On my shoulders were all of the burdens that I had to bear, and each time one of the women shared some painful, yet sacred part of themselves, one more burden would be placed upon my stooped shoulders. My heart was filled to the brim with all of the distress and suffering of these women, that I was just waiting for my heart to burst from the inside out. Other times, it felt as though my heart had fallen to the ground, and I did not think I would ever have the strength to pick it back up again. So many times have I had to feign happiness so others couldn't see the sadness that penetrated the very core of my being. How horribly sad it is to feel so weary at 23.

I wanted to change the way in which I viewed these experiences. I've been thinking for awhile about the story of the missionary who worked so long for others and came home to a shore void of human thanks and praise. I am truly beginning to realize that it does not matter who on this earth recognizes us for the work that we do. I have never done something solely for validation and credit from other people. I never have, and I never will. It feels good, no doubt about it, but it really only provides a fleeting kind of happiness. The more I see this, the more I feel elated. My heart grows wings. The world is boundless, and I am flying close to the ground. The whisper of grass blades beneath my feet exist to remind me that I am moving towards something over the horizon that is infinitely beautiful and good. I'm not home yet.

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This past weekend Laura, Ben, Anne, and I traveled to Pittsburgh for Annual Conference. What a beautiful city! I fell in love with it instantly. It was my first time going to Annual Conference, but I hope it won't be my last. I didn't know what to expect, but I really did enjoy my time there.
In between insight sessions and worship services, we all found things to do. We explored the city and Ben even ran a 5k race where he came in 3rd!!!! Mind you, the people who came in 1st/2nd are seasoned veterans of this race. He is such an amazing runner.
I was so happy for Laura as well. She has been waiting so long to finally see someone again, and when she finally saw this person, her happiness was so pervasive that one couldn't help but to be happy too.

Whoa!!!!! This is a long post.

A friend always,
Katie

Camp - Enjoying the Moments

Tomorrow I head off to Woodland Altars, the Church of the Brethren camp for the Southern Ohio district. I'll be taking six kids from Cincy COB with me and I'll be a counselor.

This day has been a long time coming. First there was registration, then requesting supplies, counselor training, buying supplies, packing supplies, finding rides, and tomorrow finally going to camp.

Everything should be in place, I've planned lessons, games, and crafts, hoping to give the kids the best possible camp experience. This is the first time that most of these kids have gone to camp by themselves. For some of them, it will be the first time they have spent an extended period of time outside of the city, spent time with nature.

As I'm packing the last of the supplies I'm realizing that while I hope the kids enjoy what is planned, I think it will be all the unplanned things like games, songs, and campfires that will be memorable to the kids. The conversations and laughter during meals, seeing something new will be what they remember.

How often in our adult lives do we forget to enjoy the unplanned, to live in the moment? I know I often forget to enjoy those moments of spontaneity, those moments of living in the here and now, not the future. The BVS house did just that last weekend. We went to the Juneteenth festival at Mirror Lake by our house. We enjoyed food, music, and learned a little Civil War history. Not only that, we decided to make a trip to the Cincinnati Art Museum right next door and enjoyed wandering through the exhibits looking at the artistic gifts of artists spanning several centuries. Pretty much unplanned, but relaxing and fun!

So my challenge for myself and others is this - leave some space on the calendar this summer for the unplanned and see what happens, I bet it will be exciting! It's off to camp we go!!!

Anne

This is not a recording.

On Tuesday night the BVS House of Cincinnati experienced another first:
Tornado siren!
After deciding whether to grab pillows and blankets or shoes and cellphones, we tromped down the basement stairs. The confusion over how we would all fit in the old coal room was cut short as the siren shut off after only 15 minutes. We all decided we'd rather mess around on Facebook and craigslist than talk in the basement. I think it was a bonding experience.

-----

I grew up in southeast Nebraska, where tornado season starts the beginning of May and ends in late July. My parents still live in one of the most active parts of the region. A few summers ago, a tornado sat itself down on my sister and brother-in-law's house and then jumped the road to the family farm. We lost a lot of buildings and machinery, and nearly all our trees, but amazingly, no one was hurt.

The Plains are notorious for tornadoes, but if you were to sit down with the people living there, most would tell you that tornadoes aren't something they worry about. My family's experience changed that for me. I used to watch storms in the distance from our backyard as they tore through fields and small communities-- always with a feeling of immunity to the haphazard destruction I could clearly see in someone else's life. But not anymore.

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Sometimes we watch each other from a distance. Ominous green clouds of silence are ignored. A humid space of ignorance hangs between us. In a whirlwind of frustration and sadness, words bond together to form rage. They plow indiscriminately through families, tearing permanent gashes in people that love us-- that we love. It leaves everything and everyone touched. Some are mute from shock. Some harness the rage of the words and cannot let it go. Some have no remnant of their former self. And some carry only the depression of what is lost.

Words are always chosen over weapons when the intent is to hurt deeply. So, choose your words with compassion and try not to be afraid of honesty. Love can survive rage, but it may falter if we are false to one another.



-Laura

Unintentionality

When we arrived in Cincinnati almost 8 months ago we agreed to come live in an intentional community. We would spend time each week (and usually each day) working to make the house where we live into a home for the four of us. There would be a focus of intentionally making our community work.

Well, this past week it happened a little more on its own.

These are the super cool wristbands that were given out at the block party in our neighborhood. There was a block closed to traffic with a whole bunch of food and games on the street. Our contribution to the meal was a small vat of mashed potatoes and then the other half of the cookies we made for the "Bake-Off" competition (better luck next year...). The wristbands were to identify who had paid their dollar to take part in the festivities. Laura and I thought they were so cool we wore them all day on Monday, too. We looked like rockstars.

We only stayed at the shindig for an hour because we had some errands to take care of, but we actually met people that live near us. This has not been something our house has been particularly good at since we moved in. I sometimes wonder if we don't try hard enough to meet those who live around us or if the folks in our neighborhood really enjoy their privacy or both. Whatever the case, I don't think I recognized a single person beyond the two families that go to church with us. Hopefully that will begin to change and we'll get to know the community around us a little better. We'll at least know a few more faces now.

This evening we had a spur-of-the-moment community-building activity. After sweating through some deliciously spicy chips and homemade salsa (courtesy of Chef Katie) we decided to turn back the clock and become elementary-aged firefly hunters. Armed with glass jars we set out to create super cool lightning bug lanterns. I'm sure the view from our neighbors' houses was quite comical as we galavanted gleefully around the front yard then wove our way down to the park. There was even some company for us as two or three white-tailed deer stopped to hang out about 25 meters from where we had paused to count our intermittently luminous captives. Urban deer are around people enough that it generally doesn't phase them to be a couple dozen yards away. The mosquitoes were really glad we stopped to watch the deer, too. Stupid blood-sucking bugs.

We retreated back to our abode and set our firefly jars on the dining room table. We were hoping that the bugs might be more active with their blinking if they were around more of their own kind; after all, fireflies light up because they're looking for a date. There was one that put on a great show, climbing all over the inside of its jar, but the others were fairly disinterested in the local dating scene. Laura thought she might entice them with some music from her iPod. As romantic as it was and irregardless of Laura disc jockeying skillz, they still didn't really seem to care much for their fellow denizens. That is, until we discovered that there were some jazz lovers in our jars. Louis Armstrong and Ella Fitzgerald crooned out "Cheek to Cheek" and we finally got a few more to respond. It may have coincided with us trying to make them think our cell phones were huge fireflies, but I'd like to think it was the music.

After a few more minutes of firefly speed dating and cultural enlightenment, we set them free in our back yard. There was nothing intentional about planning for the firefly hunt but it was a great feeling of being comfortable in our own skins as we chased bugs in our pajamas down the street.

Intentional community is good; unintentional community might be even better.



P.S. As lovely as Katie's message was last week, I don't think our mockingbird friend has Internet access. Bummer. If you see our avian amigo, please let the featherbrained Figaro know what's going on.

Ode to a Mockingbird

"Mockingbirds don't do one thing but make music for us to enjoy. ... That's why it's a sin to kill a mockingbird." From: To Kill a Mockingbird, by Harper Lee

Dear Mockingbird in our Backyard,

If you are reading this (and I hope that you are), I implore you to kindly wait to sing your sweet and mel(odious) refrain until it is actually daylight. Yes, I know dear bird, I have been confused lately too. It does appear that night is as bright as day due to our ever so conscientious neighbor's fog lights as I like to call them. The lights on the side of her house are suspiciously akin to lights one would find on a freight ship at sea in the dead of night.

Serenity now!!! I have been quietly pleading at times when said lights have illuminated my bedroom to the point of absurdity. Just when I believe that I can get used to the idea of sleeping in a light-drenched room, you feel the need to vent your frustrations as well. I understand that you have not been able to achieve a dream-filled slumber either, but in the name of all that is holy!!, please remember your loving friends at 2144.

Otherwise, I just may resort to extreme measures. With Harper Lee's words of wisdom aside, a well-aimed rock propelled in your direction during one of your tuning sessions(that may or may not be considered an accident), would subsequently be used to shatter the lights on the side of our neighbor's house. Kill two birds with one stone, as I always like to say.

Please don't be offended! I only meant that perhaps it would be best for us both if you considered finding a new home. What about an oak tree, or perhaps a locust tree? They are lovely this time of year, I hear. Or how about a dogwood or magnolia? I suppose any flowering tree really. As long as the flowers can properly frame your exquisite silhouette in all of your majestic might and glory. Was that too much? It's just that a bird of your stature and repute can ill-afford to be seen in any of the shabby trees we have to offer in our backyard. As your slavishly devoted friend, I have only your best interests at heart. Honest.

It is time for me to go now. I bid you adieu, and hopefully(VERY)soon, you will have found a home that befits your eminence and prestige.

A Helpful Friend Always,

Katie

We Are Who We Are

The craziness of summer has begun with peace murals to paint, kids club programs to plan and run, and gardens to tend. Oh yeah, and that ever present job of looking for future employment after BVS is over!

As I'm doing all this stuff and working with my housemates to keep our place functioning, I'm constantly reminded of how different each one of us is from one another. How we grew up, the experiences we have had, our communication styles, you name it, effect who we are at this moment. That means that as much as we have gotten to know one another over the last 8 months, there are still debates over everything from the temperature of the AC to the definition of what "clean" really is. Our differences can lead to these somewhat frustrating exchanges, but they also make for wonderful discussions about things like the idea of expectations.

Our world would certainly be easier if we got to control everything and had similar thoughts, but then there would be no excitement, no drama. I'm not ready to live in that world, are you? Now if I could just remember to use this wonderful wisdom I am sharing that would be great! Maybe the long Memorial Day weekend vacation in PA with my family and good friends enjoying the beauty of Hegins, PA will help.

Speaking of differences, for your enjoyment here is a sample of the reading material we have been indulging in lately!!!

Blessings and have a happy start to summer,

Anne