Keep Smiling

Journey By Edna St. Vincent Millay
"Ah, could I lay me down in this long grass And close my eyes, and let the quiet wind Blow over me—I am so tired, so tired Of passing pleasant places! All my life, Following Care along the dusty road, Have I looked back at loveliness and sighed;Yet at my hand an unrelenting hand Tugged ever, and I passed. All my life long Over my shoulder have I looked at peace;And now I fain would lie in this long grass And close my eyes.Yet onward!Cat birds call Through the long afternoon, and creeks at dusk Are guttural. Whip-poor-wills wake and cry, Drawing the twilight close about their throats. Only my heart makes answer. Eager vines Go up the rocks and wait; flushed apple-trees Pause in their dance and break the ring for me; And bayberry, that through sweet bevies thread Of round-faced roses, pink and petulant,Look back and beckon ere they disappear.Only my heart, only my heart responds. Yet, ah, my path is sweet on either side All through the dragging day,—sharp underfoot. And hot, and like dead mist the dry dust hangs—But far, oh, far as passionate eye can reach, And long, ah, long as rapturous eye can cling,The world is mine: blue hill, still silver lake, Broad field, bright flower, and the long white road. A gateless garden, and an open path: My feet to follow, and my heart to hold."

It is a testament to the chaos of my work schedule that I am currently feeling as though I am trapped inside of a monstrous whirlwind that is spinning me around with no apparent end in sight. Right now, I am going to three places for mentoring: The Justice Center, Pathways and Rewards Jail Intervention. Not only do I have to be a coordinator for this program but I have to simultaneously come to these places and be a mentor myself. I must be everywhere all the time. I am as Cathy Jo says, the "face of Partners In Change." I stuck the proverbial foot in the mouth when I said I would also do GED tutoring at RJI. Me teach math???? I swore I would never touch another math book again!! All I can say is, those poor souls...

So, three roles now. It is almost as if there are invisible hands all struggling to pull me in completely separate directions. I am a juggler on a stage in front of a riveted audience. I cannot let one ball drop...all eyes on me...be calm...be patient...breathe...do not let them see how nervous you are...above all things, keep smiling...

Just when I envisioned one of the balls escaping from my fingertips and rolling with a deafening silence across the stage, time suspended, eyes frozen in alarm, something unexpected occurred. Last Tuesday, I went to RJI to learn more about what I would have to do for the GED program there. To be honest, I was dreading this. One more thing I have to do, I thought. I was talking on the phone with the woman I will be filling in for while she is out for knee replacement surgery, and she told me that she had been hearing my name everywhere. Initially, I had no idea what she was talking about. Then I thought, she must be confusing me with some other Katie Baker who has a mentoring program in Cincinnati. It is completely plausible! She told me how the women love my programs at the Justice Center, Pathways and RJI, and cannot wait to see me each week. As if I needed any more proof, two of the women I mentor there came up to me as I was about to leave with great big smiles on their faces. "Katie! When are you going to be here for mentoring?" they asked as they gave me a hug. Perhaps, I am doing something right after all.

With that thought in mind, I left and headed down to the Jail for my Tuesday mentoring session there. I could not help but to smile as well. The drone of construction, the leers of the workers, and my concern for the cracks on the sidewalk that exist for the express purpose of tripping me in my heels, all faded away like a half-remembered song. Nothing mattered in those few moments but the women I am mentoring. Mentoring is a source of strength for me, and I care so much about them. Otherwise, how could I possibly endure hearing such tragic and painful stories three times a week? I cannot do it without feeling a considerable measure of sadness and empathy for them. Inspite of everything, they keep smiling. I tell them that nothing in the world can limit them but themselves. If they want to change and make a better life for themselves, it is absolutely possible. I try to instill this reminder every week, and in turn, believe it for myself:
But far, oh, far as passionate eye can reach, and long, ah, long as rapturous eye can cling, the world is mine: blue hill, still silver lake, broad field, bright flower, and the long white road. A gateless garden, and an open path: My feet to follow, and my heart to hold.

P.S. I am flying home this Wednesday to visit my mom and dad! My sister and her two children are also visiting, and I cannot believe that it has been a year since I saw her last. That is much too long when you love someone. I am excited to take Ashton for ice cream and play dolls with Ashley. Maybe they'll help me to remember that I'm not as old as I feel sometimes.

Your friend always,
Katie

I Hope They Know We Care

As you can see from the recent posts by Laura and Ben we have been pretty busy here in Cincy!

The Easter egg hunt really was a great success. Besides the bunny costume we had over 1300 eggs, about 150 prizes, and about 100 hot dogs. I really enjoyed seeing the kids have a great time, though I smiled at myself when the hunt that I had spent three weeks preparing for was over in five minutes. A big thanks to mom and dad for coming to see Cincinnati over Easter. They pitched right in and were a big help in getting everything together, plus it would not have been Easter without tons of candy strait from Chocolate World, Thanks Mom!

Now that Easter is over, I've moved on to other projects. Projects which are requiring lots of prep work, like four peace murals we are hoping to have the kids paint in June, a Mother's Day church service, and sending kids to camp this summer - I'm going to be a camp counselor!

These are all great things, but I realized this Sunday as I was trying to get kids to think about working together, and many of them could barely handle this, that it is going to be an interesting summer. I'm going to spend all this time prepping for things, and it will depend on the moods of the kids as to whether or not my plans will be successful. And these kids are moody! Many of them can't help it, and as much as I would like them to be different, I can't blame them.

You wouldn't know how to control yourself either if you had little to no supervision at home, had a mom who cussed at you, as a nine year old were playing around with and shooting a BB gun, were going to be evicted from your home pretty soon, and didn't really know where you were going to live. On top of that, the education you receive at school is questionable, if you are even going to school. How on earth do I try and overcome this stuff for two hours a week, how do I respond?

To be honest, most of the time I don't know what to say when kids are talking about their mom's cussing at them, are so apathetic towards authority that they get up and leave whenever they want because they don't have adult supervision for hours on end a day now that it is warm out and they can roam the streets, at age 1o, 12, & 13. The only thing I can do is be an example. Try for the time I do have with them to talk with them about positive ways of acting, to let them know that somebody does care about them.

After a frustrating Sunday school this past week, it made me smile when I was sitting down to lunch with several church members at a local restaurant, and three of the kids I work with were sitting at the table. I had come to lunch in a separate car and didn't know they were going to be there. They were sitting happily at the table with their drinks, fries, and wings - engaging in conversation with one another and with a church member. Responding to the positive influence of a young adult male, influence that they so desperately need.

While I can't dramatically change their lives, I know they are going to remember the people at Cincinnati COB who took the time to feed them on Sundays, took them on fun trips like ice skating, to the Aquarium, and camp. Experiences that they never would have had they not found their way into the church. While I hope the kids remember a lot of what I teach them, what I hope most is that they remember us as people who just took the time to show that they cared. I'll keep trying to do my best to make sure that for just a little while each week they see love.

Blessings,

Anne

In a cameo role:

The Easter Bunny!

Bunny was so kind and thoughtful for making it to our Easter Egg hunt that we gave them a peanut butter pie after the whole shebang was finished.

Talk about exciting!
Some in the park that day couldn't fathom Easter Bunny's greatness.

Bunny had to relax after such a big event.
This is pre-peanut butter pie.

Easter Bunny is a well rounded individual with all kinds of interests
beyond eggs made of chocolate-- Rock Ukulele, for example.

Sometimes Easter is overwhelmed by the attention and needs a retreat...
But on that day, E. was really more of a drama queen.

---------------------------------
Thanks for humoring me.

Maybe you remember how excited our house was about Spring a few weeks ago?
Whelp, that's over.
According to Nature's whim, we're now excited about Summer.

My housemates have said that we need to mow the backyard. I must confess, I like it the way it is.

The violets carpet the ground with purple smiles where before were big patches of mud. Lanky guards with white hats stand over them, making sure the tom cats don't tear the purples to pieces. The canopy above allows sunlight to trickle down like encouragement for the color that charms me.
From my window, it's a secret, enchanted place that I only need to share with the robins that hop and scratch for bugs.

Sometimes they stop and look at me.

It's quite nice.

-laura

Picture this

One of my favorite ways to spend downtime is to putz around with my camera taking pictures. It's a little bulky so it doesn't go with me as many places as I might like but from time to time I get into a picture-taking groove and catch some of the world around me on my memory card in JPG form. I had about two weeks during the past month where I had my camera with me more than usual. Here's some of what I came across and tells some of my story for the past few weeks...


This is my office desk. It's usually a little less cluttered than this. I was waiting for something to print downstairs for a Mentor Training session which took place the following morning. The picture I didn't get was the bird's-eye view of the parking lot turning white from the hail storm that evening.

This is what it looks like from the corner where I usually catch the bus. It's a little more than two blocks from our house. That's downtown at the bottom of the hill.

This is the "before" picture of the Children's Community Garden that Laura is tackling this year. There was a clean-up workday last week and there will be another one next week. I'm looking forward to when we can put up an "after" picture (or even an "in progress" one) to show how great this place is looking/will look.

I had wanted to take some pictures of the spring bulb flowers that were up during the morning hours but between the Mentor Training thingy and church, it didn't happen until Sunday afternoon. I ended up at the Hauck Botanic Garden where the Civic Garden Center is over in Avondale. While wandering through looking for the flowers that had weathered or bloomed since the hail storm on Friday, I found a couple of fun knick-knacks. Having grown up in an area steeped in Civil War history and whatnot, plaques like these show up in lots of places back in Virginia. They usually don't say this, though.

Here's another fun find. Cincinnati is know for its history with pigs, having been at one time the world's largest pork processing hub... or something like that. The big marathon in town is even called the Flying Pig Marathon. This pretty little porker here is called "Topigary". Statues like this can be found all over the city.

There were a fair number of flowers at Hauck, too. Here are some snowdrops that survived the hail from a few days before.

I think this one is a helleborous or something like that. I haven't come across these very often before so if you know better, leave a comment and educate us.

Ah, crocuses getting ready to bloom. I'm glad they exist.

This is another one that I'm not really familiar with. I wish I'd posted a pic of the yellow flower I didn't know so maybe somebody could help me with that one, too. Drat.

We had our mid-year retreat a few weeks ago. I was really looking forward to it and it didn't disappoint me at all. The entire house came back much more rested and relaxed, I think. It also seemed to help ease some of the tension levels in the house, too. I think it probably helped that Daylight Savings gave us an extra hour of sun in the evenings about that time as well as Old Man Winter finally retiring more or less for the year. We took the Megabus from Cincy to Chicago (with a 1:25AM departure time) and then the METRA train to Elgin so we could hang out at the CoB national offices. We waited there for everybody else who would be joining us for the retreat. While we were waiting we managed to find ways to keep ourselves entertained. Doesn't Laura make such a lovely little person BVSer?

Once people began to arrive we all caught up with folks from our orientation units and a few other old friends who happened to be in Elgin (mostly because they work there).

Anne has an uncanny knack for being able to look directly at a camera whenever somebody is taking a picture no matter how far away they are, how much they zoom in, or how sneaky they try to be.

One of the reasons I love mid-year retreat so much is because it offers something for everyone, no matter what they need to relax and recharge. There were things to do for those who wanted to be active...

...and a little less active.

You could start your day off curled up with a good book (awake or asleep)...

...or wind down at the end of the day.

You could spend your free time alone...

...or with a bunch of other BVSers who love playing group games. Yay for retreat. A+ and gold stars to everybody who helped plan it (except for maybe the ucky camp food).

We stayed an extra night before heading back to Cincy. My accommodations were at the BVS house in Elgin where I got to hang out with Jon, Don, Dana, and Steve. We swapped stories and discussed some of the finer points of communal living. Ahh, good company.

Back in Cincy spring weather had finally arrived. Naturally, we decided that we should now have our weekly house meeting on the roof whenever possible. Sure, why not?

Laura decided to get all gussied up one evening. She curled her hair, put on make-up, the whole nine yards. She cleans up real good. Better yet, she can even do it while planning Sunday School with Anne at 9:00 at night. How's that for some stellar multi-tasking?

The magnolias in Eden Park were reportedly (courtesy of Laura) quite beautiful. I wanted to get to see them while they were looking all beautiful and such so I headed out last Sunday evening even though it was sprinkling a little bit. This is down at the Twin Lakes.

This Star Magnolia with a small entourage of daffodils at sunset was even better looking than the picture allows, believe it or not.

I was having fun with the super macro zoom on my camera.

There seem to be a lot of places in Eden Park where somebody planted lots of daffodils on the hillsides. This is one of those places.

I finally got to the Magnolia Garden around dusk. It still looks purdy to me.

This is a shot of downtown from Mt. Adams near the Art Museum.

I was trying to be artsy with this one. This is a bug's-eye view of the bridge on Ida Street. It's a good thing Mt. Adams rarely has much traffic.

There were a lot of other pictures that I would've liked to have gotten during the past month. They didn't make it onto my camera but still exist in my head so I'll try to paint them with words.

The first one is of my old room, as in the one upstairs. Laura moved into it on Monday and I live in the basement now. She has the double bed set diagonally from the corner on the right when you walk into the room. Her desk/table is directly ahead with her persevering computer on it by the window looking out to the backyard. The door that leads to the back porch is wide open, letting in as much sun and air as possible. Laura is sitting in her chair going through seed packets, deciding what will go where in which garden.

The next picture is of Lovefeast this past Thursday. There are two candle-lit tables set with the women at one and the men at the other. The electric piano has been carried downstairs and Saundra is playing hymns and familiar songs while we wash each others' feet. There are about twenty of us assembled. Some of us know all the words; some of us barely know any. One or two just listen. As far as gender and age go, this is probably the least lopsided Lovefeast I've ever attended.

The last picture is from tonight. Anne's parents are in town visiting and we're all over at Pastor Ben's for supper. The kids and the neighbor's kids are all running around the yard with the dog. Kristen has cooked what is quite possibly Katie's favorite meal ever: grilled mango salmon, asparagus, salad, and ice cream with strawberries and chocolate for dessert. There's also grilled chicken but I don't think Katie has noticed. Those of us not running amuck are gathered at the patio furniture, half of which was still in a box a few hours earlier. Anne seems very happy that her parents are here and they're enjoying themselves outside in the warm evening air. Our entire house is together and genuinely happy. The hours feel like they have stretched well beyond their allotted sixty minutes but nobody's trying to reign them in. I wish you could have seen it, felt it, experienced it.

I wonder who will be in these pictures next year...