Did you know...

that Spring is coming?

Last week I heard Robins and yesterday I saw finches. They're scouring the patches of grass, searching for bits of seed or bugs. Grandma sent money for a bird feeder-- I'm sure they would appreciate the meal and show off their flashy yellow coats for me in a few weeks if I set one outside.
It's as if a collective will has ripped back the covers off winter. She lies there, cold air still seeping over the edge of the bed, her comfortable sleep starting to seep through the mattress and boxspring. You can't go near her without soaking your shoes through.
Mom said, "It's like living in a mud puddle!"
Better than living in a block of ice, right Mom?

I grow increasingly happy with the end of this winter. I can find shivering charming, but only for a week or so. In the country we hibernate for some of the winter('cept for Dad), but it's a lost cause here. The city is all about moving, doing, deadlines, advancing, and freaking out when it snows more than three inches. The hibernation period makes winter bearable. The slowing of pace, and release from obligations, either makes winter move more quickly or seem more meaningful.

I grew up living season to season. I can measure my life in four o'clocks and zinnias; hot, dusty winds; frosted and rattling window panes; the first unnoticed red ferns that push through the moss, curled tightly to the still cold mornings. Each change is an opportunity, but spring is my favorite.
Unmeasured potential, always surprising but reassuring in her consistency. Dependable.
Spring brings clarity and new ideas. She rips the bandage off the unhealed cut from last fall and gives it air and light.

With all the help that Spring will be throwing my way...
I can't possibly fail, right?

While I can hardly contain my excitement over this spring, I am very hesitant for her actual arrival. There's too much to do before she gets here, and some of it seems beyond my reach. My farmer's spring is here by late March. I should have done so many things a month ago. Will it be possible to plant on time? Will this lot have the soil structure to support a garden? Is it too rootbound by the trees that run through it? Is there an evil creature lurking underneath the rotting matresses in the back? Will people want to help? Will people want to garden? Will it be safe?

Somehow, it always works out at home.
I hope it does here, too.



Watch for the finches.

-Laura

Hither and yon

We have a new case manager at work. This means that I am no longer the newest member of the staff. Part of her training and orientation involves shadowing other people at work to see what they do and get a better understanding of how things operate. At some point in the next week or two she’ll be shadowing me to see how intakes are done for new families at the shelter. It seems weird to think that I’ve now been here long enough to be the intake guru, thus making me knowledgeable enough to have somebody gleaning information from my routine activities. It’s also the end of February already. I’m not sure what happened to the beginning of the month, though I’m fairly certain that snow was involved.

Speaking of snow, it’s almost gone. This is generally a good thing. As a regular pedestrian I will be glad to not need to worry about getting sprayed by slush when vehicles zip by while I’m ten feet away on the snowy, slushy sidewalk. I am just about done with having cold, wet toes, thank you very much. Apparently this is more snow that what is normal for Cincinnati. When I was a BVSer in Colorado they had a colder and snowier winter, too. I’m half tempted to do another year of BVS in Central America to see if the snow follows me there, too.

We have our mid-year retreat coming up soon. I am looking forward to this a whole bunch. I won’t know most of the volunteers attending, but I will know a few. There are a handful of Unit #277 folks that are stateside and still going strong. Mostly it’ll be a nice change of pace in a non-snow-induced sort of way. I hope I don’t end up in a room full of snorers.

We got to go to Jungle Jim's (www.junglejims.com)this past Saturday. Bethinary Bekah picked us up and ferried us there and back. It was quite the experience. It's huge and has produce and products from hither and yon for some decent prices. I think we all agreed it was a total sensory overload. I think Laura enjoyed it the most, especially since she was ready for another two hours of shopping after we checked out. Thanks to Bethinary and Bekah for treating us to such a cool experience!

Yup, that's about it for now.

CH...CH...CH...CHANGES

"Trippers and askers surround me,People I meet, the effect upon me of my early life or the ward and city I live in, or the nation,The latest dates, discoveries, inventions, societies, authors old and new,My dinner, dress, associates, looks, compliments, dues,The real or fancied indifference of some man or woman I love,The sickness of one of my folks or of myself, or ill-doing or loss or lack of money, or depressions or exaltations,Battles, the horrors of fratricidal war, the fever of doubtful news, the fitful events;These come to me days and nights and go from me again,But they are not the Me myself.Apart from the pulling and hauling stands what I am,Stands amused, complacent, compassionating, idle, unitary,Looks down, is erect, or bends an arm on an impalpable certain rest,Looking with side-curved head curious what will come next,Both in and out of the game and watching and wondering at it.Backward I see in my own days where I sweated through fog with linguists and contenders,I have no mockings or arguments, I witness and wait." --From Song of Myself by Walt Whitman

I was not sure what I was going to share with you this time around. I wondered if I had anything worthwhile to say. We know it is true that nothing ever stays the same. There have been many changes at our house this past month, and there will be more to come. I do think that change can be a very good thing, yet still I shrink from it. I have always been extremely constant about certain aspects of my life, and at times, I fear I do not have the strength to do something different. What cowardly thinking that is! Through all of my hardships and when change was inevitable, I have always been able to summon the courage to continue. I would do well to remember that in the months to come.

There are other necessary changes that I believe need to come, and this is a self-imposed change. We have the choice what we take inside of ourselves, whether it be positive or negative. Too often in my own life have I allowed someone's cruel or thoughtless words to negatively impact my life. I have cried and hurt too much in the past over this to allow it to continue into the future. I want to believe as Walt Whitman does that it is all external, and we are ultimately as happy as we make up our minds to be. Each day I desire to be consciously reminded of this. I know it will not be easy.

To whoever is reading this, please try to be mindful of the things you say and do. You may not realize just how much you are hurting someone else. I am not without faults. I have been this way too. When my dad was first diagnosed with cancer and over the next year, many of my thoughts took a pessimistic turn. This always has a spill-over effect, but at the time, I could not see how much I was hurting my friends with my negativity. One of my best friends had to finally tell me. I was angry with her, but she was right. It was humbling to admit that I was wrong, but since then, I made the endeavor to be a different and better person. It is an everyday struggle, and sometimes there are setbacks. At least now, I am more aware of it.

That was alot of rambling on my part, but in short, I guess I just wanted to say that we should not allow others to steal the happiness from our days. Nor should we do the same to others. Mindfulness...now that is the key.

P.S. My eye has improved tremendously since I last wrote to you. Most times I do not even notice the differences. I still have to take eye drops and go to appointments, but hopefully that will end soon. Thank you again for your prayers and concerns. It has meant a great deal to me.

Take care, and I will be talking with you again soon.

A Friend Always,
Katie

City Life

For me, it has been an interesting last month or so here in Cincinnati. While I still find myself being content with the city and my work, I also find myself having interesting thoughts about my experiences here. These observations - some reflections on the state of urban life, some funny, and some sad - all reflect how I'm adapting to my world. I think I notice these things because I spent most of my time growing up in the land of farms and main streets lined with Hershey Kiss lights.

So here it goes...my world lately.

• I go to "Fancy Kroger" or a pharmacy in Hyde Park to buy shampoo or make up because the stuff for white people in the local CVS has been sitting on the self for far too long.
• I bundle up in layers - sweater, coat, hat, gloves, and throw the umbrella in my bag when I go out because I'm always walking several blocks to my destination.
• Grocery shopping is not a simple task. I always feel like I'm setting out on a journey, braving the elements with my backpack weighed down with food. (Remember, I'm only 5'2".)
• It doesn't strike me as odd anymore to see the armed police officers in the local grocery store.
• As I walk only a few feet from them, I'm not surprised as I watch police frisk a man in front of the CVS.
• Riding the bus has become normal. However, I still find myself cringing on a crowded bus when a scruffy man brushes up against me as he is getting off the bus. I'm thinking bed bugs and germs.
• I haven't quite mastered my reaction to less than stellar looking men as I walk by them on the street. I used to think it was bad that I didn't want to look some people in the eye, but as I get call-outs when I walk by bus stops or busy corners, I remember why.
• I chuckle to myself as I realize for the first time that I've been walking by a store front for weeks and have not noticed the display of caskets and urns. I guess I just wasn't expecting a sales store on Main street downtown.
• I'm amazed at how something as simple as lunch and ice skating can bring such joy to kids, things I could have done over and over again as a child, but activities that some kids rarely get to do. I love that activities like this can bring all kinds of kids together, no matter their different backgrounds, they all get to just be kids together.
• I realize how transient the lives of the kids I work with can be. Children can come to church Sunday after Sunday and show up during the week for homework help and snack, then be gone, leaving us with only a vague idea of where they are. Yet just when I think I'm never going to see them again, they show up smiling. Its good to know I'm making a small impact , one kid at a time.

Just a small sampling of what I've been thinking lately. These very urban experiences have, of course, been punctuated with wonderful lunches and parties with church friends and being introduced to local products like Graeter's ice cream. I'm off to taste some of their black raspberry chip now!!

Blessings,

Anne