Too Many Starfish, Not Enough Hands

I feel that my placement at the family homeless shelter has been a decent fit for me. The staff is generally supportive, the work isn’t monotonous, and it gets me out of the neighborhood where I live. Good, super, and great. Lately, though, I’ve been reminded a few times about some of the not-so-great parts of my job.


A few weeks ago I was doing an intake for a mom with six kids. Six!? Yes, six. As we were going through the eligibility discussions it came to light that she was in the process of being evicted. Ugh. This is an area where I don’t know quite as much as I’d like to so I sometimes need to involve one of the other case managers who knows the process a little better. The mom went to meet with the shelter case manager to talk about how far along she was with the eviction, why it was occurring, and all that good stuff. It ended up that she was ineligible for staying at our shelter; she wasn’t close enough to being kicked out of her house by the sheriff.

Seriously!? Here’s a mom with a larger-than-average family that currently has no income and is being evicted for non-payment of rent and utilities. She was trying to do the right thing (in my opinion) by seeking help before she disrupted her kids’ lives even more than what they were already going through. Instead, she likely ended up couch surfing with friends and relatives. It wouldn’t be too much of a surprise if she had to send her kids to different houses because they couldn’t find family and friends with enough space to have seven house guests (which probably would violate their lease and put them at risk of eviction, too).

The reason we couldn’t bend the rules is in large part because of how some of our funding defines “homelessness.” You still technically have housing until your eviction goes to court, you are ordered out of the residence, and the sheriff’s office has given you a we’re-putting-your-stuff-on-the-curb-if-you’re-still-there date. At that point you have the eviction on your record and it will come up during background checks for employment, housing, and other services. Possibly the part that bothers me the most is that we would have let her stay if she had told us she was staying at her mom’s house or at her friend’s place and not said anything about the eviction. Grr.


On Mondays there’s a meeting in Over-the-Rhine that I try to attend unless I’m doing intakes for new families. All of the case managers from the family shelters get together to discuss difficult cases, get updates on processes and procedures, and basically vote on requests for funds. One of the case managers from one of the other shelters has been working with a client for a couple months and wanted some input for how to address some situations.

This client had qualified for a program that assisted with paying her rent for her new apartment with the agreement that she must also continue to work with her case manager on a regular basis. Her case manager had not been able to get in touch with her for a while because there were some issues going on. The client’s abusive boyfriend had moved into the apartment which violates the apartment lease as well as the program rules. He was also apparently pimping her out, though the money certainly wasn’t going toward paying for utilities or rent. There was suspected drug use as well.

We talked about some safety issues regarding home visits since the boyfriend is controlling and probably doesn’t want people messing with whatever he has going on there. Maybe the client’s parole officer could require that she meet with the case manager as part of her mandatory parole compliance. There were some good suggestions and thoughts but at the end of it all it was decided that the client needed to really be the one to put forth the initiative to continue with the case management or she would be kicked out of the program.

Seriously!? She’s in an abusive relationship where she obviously is not the one calling the shots and you think she’s magically going to one day wake up and decide to get on track with the program? Ugh. I don’t believe for a second that the other case managers aren’t aware of this and they probably even have a better understanding of it than I do. We have relegated ourselves to accepting that this is how it’s going to be. It seems shameful that there wasn’t more concern for her safety and her kids. However, we can’t help everybody or we’d barely help anybody. I don’t like knowingly letting someone get lost in a situation that they don’t want to be in, but this isn’t my client and there are limitations to the scope of our assistance. It sucks.


The shelter has been a struggle to place how I feel about it after nine months. Homelessness is certainly a societal issue which needs to be addressed and I’ve learned a great deal about the struggles and mentalities of those that are experiencing homelessness or poverty. I don’t necessarily believe that the current system works. I definitely don’t believe that we can fix all of a family’s lifetime of tendencies, habits, and struggles during a month-long shelter stay. What gets me through some days, though, is believing that our shelter is helping at least a little bit. We can’t help everybody, but hopefully we’re helping somebody.

The Starfish Story

Once upon a time, there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work.

One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself at the thought of someone who would dance to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up.

As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up small objects, and throwing them into the ocean.

He came closer still and called out "Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?"

The young man paused, looked up, and replied "Throwing starfish into the ocean."

"I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?" asked the somewhat startled wise man.

To this, the young man replied, "The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don't throw them in, they'll die."

Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, "But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can't possibly make a difference!"

At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said, "It made a difference for that one."

~Loren Eiseley