Walnut Hills Happenings

Where to start?

2011-07-06T22:47:00.003-04:00

This post was began at 10:48 p.m. 7/6/11. It is incredible to think about all that has transpired in one short month. Hard to believe this is my final post on this blog.

It is now July 23rd @ 5:13 p.m. I did not plan to take so long to get back to this. BVS has been the blessing of a lifetime! The goodbyes (or so-longs) have begun as have the tears to go along with them. Tonight I plan to work on preparations for the July 31 church service which will be a Children's Sunday. (This means the kids will be "running" the church service.) I already know what we will be sharing but there is much preparation to do.

My family that is coming to help me get my things home, arrive Wednesday and I am trying to compile a list of things we should see/do.

The car is being picked up by the Bruins on Tuesday evening. My project would have been much more difficult had I not had that wonderful little Mazda! They are some of the most generous people I have ever met!

Packing is as far as it can go before actually leaving. This week on Monday afternoon I'll be at the daycare for one final "shift" and in the evening I will help with the "bread drop" at the Mennonite Church. Then on Tuesday I will help with their community meal for the final time. Wednesday morning is my final time at Open Door Ministry (an emergency food pantry).

Woodland Altars (the Church of the Brethren camp that is closest to Cincinnati) is gorgeous! I have slowly begun uploading my pictures of my experiences there on fb. (It is time-consuming!) The people there are fantastic and I made many new friends and rekindled some previous kinships!

I submitted an application to Lawrence Public Schools for a middle school position that I would LOVE to have.

I am sitting here, with tears building, thinking there will be many things I wish I would have said as soon as I hit publish post. Thorsten and Jonny I love you both and will always consider you my brothers!

Camp Season is upon me

2011-06-16T21:32:00.003-04:00

Well, as I am the only one who posts on here I do not feel the need to identify myself. :) I leave tomorrow evening (June 17) and will be gone until June 25. At that point I will return to Cincinnati to wash some clothes and be at church on the 26th. Then I will go back to camp and stay there until the 29th. It is going to be intense.

It seems impossible that I only have one more month in Cincinnati. It would be fantastic if someone from the orientation that is currently in progress chose to come volunteer at the church.

I have officially filed my graduate school application. (For those of you reading this in Kansas you are probably scratching your head, but this is an accurate statement.) :) I have every intention of continuing to apply for teaching positions this fall, but if it does not happen then I will maintain my peace.

I will actually be able to finish my part-time Americorp position at the end of the month too. God is amazing, what else can I say?

My miracle for the week occurred on Tuesday. I'll try to fill in the gaps. Last Friday I went to counselor training and discovered they could possibly have a need for a counselor from the 19th to the 25th. There was another lady who was possibly going to receive a job and take her away from counseling. On Saturday night I prayed that if God wanted me to go to camp He would work out all of the details for my other volunteering commitments. The main one I was concerned about was the emergency food bank.

I had planned to stop by the organization on Monday but the day got away from me. Then on Tuesday the cake I made for my afternoon organization had a slight complication and delayed me. I determined that God must want me to wait until my regularly scheduled time to speak with my supervisor. Then God acted; after I got out of the way. That afternoon I had the opportunity of working with a high school junior who just happened to be looking for other places to volunteer. She came on Wednesday and is planning to fill the gap for me. Praise the Lord!

Quick Catch Up

2011-05-05T13:41:00.003-04:00

April went quickly and my semester is almost over! The Easter egg hunt and garden dedication was a blast! Check out my FB page for more pictures. God had it planned all along for our events to fit neatly within His showers. There has been an intense amount of rain here in Cincy this spring. We are over 12 inches above average! I think these crazy weather patterns just waited until I arrived to display themselves. :)

Things could not be going better here. My volunteering is on target to complete my Americorp part-time position. I love being in the neighborhood and seeing familiar faces! I have already been to 2 Reds games (but don't mistake this for being a fan; I just love to be at the game)!

Camp at Woodland Alters is just around the corner and I am excited to share that experience with the youth of Cincy Church of the Brethren. Perhaps it will be a little like Camp Mt. Hermon in Tonganoxie, KS.

I really have to get back to my finals! I leave for Kansas to celebrate the college graduation of my baby sister in four days! Have a great month everyone!

Big Weekend at the Cincy House

2011-04-02T00:11:00.002-04:00

Tomorrow we are going to the Opening Night Game for the Reds! It will be a blast I'm sure! There will be firewords afterwards and the pre-game is sure to be entertaining. I appreciate the Walters family's generosity!

Then on Sunday we get to go to the zoo courtesy of Ronald McDonald House. There is a volunteer appreciation picnic and families are invited. As the guys are the closest thing I have to family here I got tickets for them. I'm sure there will be pictures to share on FB from both events!

Mid-year retreat was truly a blessing for me. Then the surprise visit home was the icing on the cake! It was super to see my family and friends.

This week has been a bit of a struggle getting back into the routine of school. The rejection letters from my teahcing applications have started trickling in and that is always a tough pill to swallow. Thankfully I did receive fantastic news about next year and my schooling. Emporia State has devised a way for me to finish my master degree one way or the other and for that I am truly thankful. Now I will wait and see if that is God's will for the next year of my life or if something else comes first.

Volunteering was good; I started at Ten Thousand Villages and that is truly a one-of-akind store. I'm in awe as I look at the artwork of people from all over the world. They are extremely creative!

I'm going to call it a night as I was up until 1 a.m. working on school. Have a great month everyone!

~ Jamie

Just Kidding

2011-03-12T22:01:00.002-05:00

Well, Thorsten thought there would be three new posts last week. Jonny and Thorsten left last night to go to Chicago and based on the pictures on FB I know they made it okay. :)

In our house meeting last Sunday we discussed changing our blogging technique to once a month and writing on the white board on our fridge when we each have completed our entry. I hope this will work better. It has been challenging to keep up with the suggested rotation.

Last week I had the opportunity to go to the Volunteers Exploring Vocation conference sponsored by the Fund for Theological Education. It was absolutely amazing! I was blessed repeatedly during the conference.

I learned more about community living. I was able to connect with others who love Jesus! The highlight was probably hearing Becca Steven speak about love, Thistle Farms, and Magdalene.

I do not know exactly what God has planned for me by the end of the year, but I know I want to continue in His will. His timing is perfect. My responsibility is to listen.

Now I need to go finish preparing for retreat next week! Talk to you all in April.

Its Been A While...

2011-02-27T20:56:00.005-05:00

Hey! Its me again, Thorsten!

First of all I want to apologize for the longer interruption since my last post. Actually this blog could have also been named "nothing new", because since the last time nothing really spectacular happened neither at my project nor at our community house. Maybe Johnny and Jamie will see this a little bit different but this is just the way I experienced the last days. But today we finally went for an activity with the church again. The majority of all members (BVS'ers + kids included) went to the bowling alley to let some pins fly! My group consisted of Jamie and two married couples and had the highest overall points of all groups. Jamie, one married couple and I had a close battle in the first round, but I finished first with the highest score at this time with 150 points. The second and third round was just between Jamie and me because the other members of our group had to leave due to their young children. But unfortunately Ben Walters, the pastor of the church, broke my high score with 176 points, which I couldn't break anymore during the rest of the time. But we all had much fun and it was very nice to be around the children again for a little bit longer!

Oh and this week you will find 3 additional blog entries here because Jamie will leave for Nashville and we all try to fill the gap that accrued! So be prepared for lots of news!

Greetings to all,

Thorsten

Every Day

2011-02-07T20:23:00.002-05:00

Sometimes being a lone female is a drag. I feel like emotions only exist for my sex. I just keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Actually today has been really good. I cooked a meal for Ronald McDonald House and it was well-received. One man even told me he would order it at a restaurant. :)

Since I have been back in Cincinnati life has changed for the better. I am busier now and I am trying to start volunteering with two different school systems.

Speaking of school, my online classes are in full swing and keeping me on my toes. I need to start gearing up for the application process again too.

Time continues to pass some days faster than others. On the whole I cannot believe it is February 7. One moment I wish March was already here and the next I think I have a lot to do before then.

I need to go check the status of my psychology class for the day. I'll be back to write again in three weeks.

2011-01-31T23:51:00.002-05:00

we had a good week, dissolving into a good weekend.
dinner at a former bvs couple's house on friday and fun ice skating with the congregation's kids on Sunday.

A New Beginning

2011-01-23T22:58:00.002-05:00

My blog title this week is called "A New Beginning" for a sound reason:

At my workplace (The Talbert House) a new "Nurturing Fathers Class" has started, which means that another group of approximately 30 to 40 guys will be coming in every Tuesday from 6:00pm to 8:30pm for the next ten weeks trying to become better fathers and learn lessons for their future life.

But also Jamie came back from Kansas, what also felt to me like a new beginning in terms of getting acclimated again and so on...

And not only this, it is also the month of January, which means we just entered a brand new year!

We three are really looking forward to the BVS retreat in March in Elgin, IL! For Jonathan and me it is going even further, directly after that we have also a retreat from our German organization on Jekyll-Island.

So far I really enjoy having more responsibility at my position and have really great visions for the upcoming months! I just hope that it is going to be the same for Jamie. I don't really worry about Johnny because I know that he is doing a great job and he has a lot of stuff to do. Even though he gets snow days quite often recently...

But anyway, thanks for listening (or reading)
and I greet everybody who's following our
progress here in Cincinnati,

Thorsten

devil, may you burn in hell

2011-01-13T22:30:00.002-05:00

I'm sick of the devil stealing my joy! Tonight I am not going to give into him. This week has been full of volunteering and blessings! Monday afternoon a 2-year-old fell asleep on my lap. Tuesday morning I was able to help care for an 8-week-old. Tuesday afternoon I was at Cincinnati Mennonite Fellowship to help prepare their community meal. Wednesday morning I was at Open Door Ministry and it was awesome to see everyone again! Wednesday afternoon I troubleshot and ended up walking to the WAY Program to volunteer. It actually felt good to be outside. Last night I stayed with a friend and had a girls' movie night; that was really fun! Today I started at the daycare again but they did not need me for the full time which led me to come home and have a breather.

Sharing the car is an adventure. Thorsten can come to the house for lunch and then I can take him back to Talbert House.

Tomorrow morning I am supposed to talk with Dan; I hope he has some insight. It has been a whirlwind of a week. I'm trying to be content/satisfied with God's "Plan B" but that, I am finding, requires a daily death to self.

2010-12-28T23:09:00.002-05:00

Jamie left the house for two weeks. She will be with her family.
Thorsten and I are getting ready to hit the road via Atlanta, Georgia. We will stay at Bahirah's House and spend New Year's Eve with her.
Good Bye 2010.

Christmas Time!

2010-12-20T17:49:00.003-05:00

Hello dear blog-followers!

A new week has begun and everyone of us has been so busy yesterday:

Jamie, Johnny and I have been at the church at around 9 am to prepare the children for their skit and bake pancakes for all the hungry stomachs that have been there. Jamie spent more time with the kids and Johnny and I just fulfilled our destiny as being chefs as we have already been at the Halloween Bloc Party :-)

During the worship the three of have been honored and thanked for the things that we do in Cincinnati in the name of the church and also Katie and Parker, the student pastors.

During the skit you could really tell how well the group of kids interacts with each other and how great they work as a community of children of all kinds of age. This was very nice to see and it made the entire play even better.

After church, we three split up to just do our own things, but we quickly gathered again in our community house and it was a very pleasant time. I made a whole lot of cookies and set up the Christmas Tree and Johnny prepared our community dinner and tried to decorate our house from the outside.

This week is going to be really packed with things to do, and there is just one aim: Make it save through the Christmas Time :-) Jamie is leaving on Dec 26th and Johnny and I plan to leave on the 29th for a road trip to Atlanta to visit another BVS volunteer.

I hope everyone has a wonderful time and keeps on reading our blog!

Greetings from Cincinnati,

Thorsten

Christmas time is here

2010-12-18T22:55:00.003-05:00

I can hardly believe Christmas is next week! Tomorrow is the big pancake breakfast and Christmas Program at church! I hope there are at least 80 people there! Bob Mentzer and I distributed flyers on Friday instead of Thursday due to the snow.

I have a pretty busy week ahead. Monday morning I’ll be at Open Door and in the afternoon I’ll probably volunteer at Krohn Conservatory until The Polar Express starts at the library at 3:30. Tuesday I have left open incase Open Door needs assistance preparing their Christmas meal. If they do not need me I’ll go to Krohn. That evening I’m going to Awaited (a Christmas program) with Michael, Mandi, and Ezra Hutchins! :) Wednesday morning I’ll either help serve the meal or distribute money and food for Open Door. At 1:30 there is a gift-making session at the library I hope to attend. Then at 4 I go to Lighthouse Youth Services WAY program. When that ends I’ll go to Joel and Abbie Miller’s house to watch their daughters while they have a date night. Thursday during the day I’m going to hang out with the Millers and at 5 I’m going to volunteer at Awaited. Friday I’m going to volunteer at Krohn all day. Saturday morning I’ll pack and that afternoon the guys and I are going to Rhonda and Christy’s house for a late lunch! Sunday I’ll teach the older children at church and then head to the airport! It will be such a blessing to spend time with family!

Please pray for my upcoming decision! I pray you all have a blessing-filled Christmas!

The Winter Finally Made It To Cincinnati

2010-12-12T21:10:00.003-05:00

Fairly quick I had to admit to myself, that most of the people(technically everyone, except for Thorsten) within my environment are not as eager about this topic as I am and this is why I want to write about it. Maybe You share my excitement:
Last week we eventually were blessed with one/two inches of snow. It wouldn't sustain for more then a couple of days even though it was freezing cold. Soon rain made the little leftover vanish gracelessly.
Fortunately, we received a lot more last night, today and continuously tonight.
I love the crunching sound of snow, it makes when You step onto it. Watching the big snowflakes drifting down from heaven paralyzes and calms me in a gentle way. Utterly contrarily I enjoy the rush of snowflakes being pushed and bumped around by the wind. Also the moment, when the cold air slaps You right into the face and yet the reflection of the sun in the white makes all cold bearable.
Just recall one of those the first real winter days - You wake up, You open your eyes, You discover that Your whole world is covered in plain, white snow and You wrap Your cozy blankets thigh around yourself ,stay in bed and enjoy the look of it. Well, let's tell our imagination to make it a Sunday.

Regarding the houses' activities, last week wasn't that busy. We went to Xavier University on Monday, because Jamie had a caroling performance. On Friday we've been invited over for dinner to Shannon and Joe's house. Saturday we spent the day at home, to make cookies and other Christmas candy and in the afternoon we went to the Megachurch "Crossroads" of Cincinnati. It was an absolutely stunning experience for Thorsten and me. We've never experienced a worship with 5000 people in a huge hall with a stage, a band, two balconies and a pastor, wearing a red sweater, spiting and drooling from excitement and yet entertaining beside his qualities as a fountain.
This would be the time to talk about my work, but apparently I am too tired and somnolent right now, so let me catch up with that on my next post.
Peace out,
jonathan

Thanksgiving

2010-12-07T21:52:00.005-05:00

Hello dear followers!

It is my turn again and i hope you like what i have to tell you....!

It has been a very nice thanksgiving for all three of us, Jamie went to northern Indiana with Shannon and Joe to visit Shannon`s mother. Johnny and I made a very exciting road trip all the way to New York City, Philadelphia and back to Cincinnati.

We had the pleasure to visit one of the Germans who is volunteering in Nyack, New York for this year via the organization "EIRENE" that cooperates with BVS.

It was a very special time and we have seen almost everything that you could think of when you visit New York City. The person that we visited is called Christopher Ohnesorge and his boss invited us to her house for the Thanksgiving Dinner. But we also manged to see Macy`s Parade on the same day and many more things. Overall it was a blast! We spent fantastic 4 and a half days there and we experienced a lot during this time.

As soon as I came back we had a Graduation Class at the Talbert House where I work. The celebration was set up 5 minutes away from the community house on McMillan Street and it was a whole lot to prepare for this event.

We had the biggest class since a very long time with 28 fathers that attended educational classes regarding to "being a better father" for ten weeks and were now ready to start a new beginning with their children. All theirs families have been invited for a very nice dinner and there have been a lot of emotions when every father hold their "the father i choose to be" speech.

And there is another positive thing going on right now at my workplace: I finally have an office of my own and i successfully completed two important trainings for my future tasks. I am an official Ohio Benefit Bank Counselor and I am able to work with the CATT software that the Talbert House uses.

And still, living in community goes quite well - Jamie and Johnny are great house mates I have nothing to complain about ;)

Okay, that`s it for now, but I hope you keep on following our blog and we try to update it as frequently as possible!

Greeting to everyone,

Thorsten

Craziness!

2010-11-22T19:22:00.009-05:00

It was a very full weekend to say the least! It started Thursday night with the Cincinnati Symphony Mozart Concert. That was a memorable experience for us all. It also just happens to be where we met the people who informed us about our Sunday afternoon activity, the Germania Society Christkindlmarkt. Friday night I had an amazing treat! My aunt and uncle stopped by and took me to dinner on their way home from a funeral. It was really sad that they had to come under such circumstances, but thankfully the man who passed was a believer in Christ and will spend eternity with our Creator. As the photo shows, Saturday night we went to Balluminaria in Eden Park at Mirror Lake. It was really cool. I took tons of pictures so my nieces can see when I post them on Facebook. I got too cold but that was my own fault for not wearing enough layers. The next morning I had the joy of taking the children from church shopping for Thanksgiving fixins! The two young men below were the family group I helped.

I'm amazed that it has been four weeks since I posted! Each day I get up not knowing for sure what will happen. I go to bed realizing I have just had another opportunity to share Christ. Currently, my attitude is my focus. I want to constantly be praising God for the events I find myself participating in for this experience. I'd be lying if I said things have been what I expected thus far. I am still very homesick and I would be shocked if that goes away considering it is the time of year we are constantly bombarded with images of family. Yet there I go putting limits on God again.

;

For my community outreach I am participating as much as possible with as many organizations I can find. I spend time at the local library on Mondays most weeks because they show a movie and it gives me an opportunity to socialize with the community. I have also participated in Game Day twice and was talked into taking a turn on the PS2. Another organization I absolutely adore is Open Door Ministry. They have three outreaches for the community. Individuals can get coffee and donuts that are donated by a local bakery and have a place to sit and be warm. They also have the opportunity to get an emergency supply of groceries once a month. Finally the ministry serves as the payee for many mentally ill individuals. The time there flies and it is extremely rewarding! I am there one or two mornings a week, they are only open from 9:30 to noon. The other place I volunteered for several times in the last couple of weeks is Krohn Conservatory. Their holiday show just opened to the public on Saturday which meant opportunities to help abounded. I have an appointment to talk with the volunteer coordinator tomorrow to see what else I can help with now that it is open. There are still plenty of opportunities they are just different. I got a call on Friday from Lighthouse Youth Services and I hope to get involved there within the next three weeks. Today I got a call from Open Door, a ministry across the street from the church, and I hope to speak to their volunteer coordinator tomorrow afternoon too.

;

I cannot close this post without asking for prayers for Ben Walters and his family. In the last 8 days their son knocked out his front 2 baby teeth on a cedar chest. His youngest daughter is still waiting to hear if she has strep throat and their oldest daughter has just been moved from ICU to a regular room this afternoon after impaling her leg on her bicycle handlebars yesterday afternoon. Needless to say their planned trip to Cape Cod for Thanksgiving is out. Please remember them in this challenging time.

Happy Thanksgiving to all! Jamie

Transition completed!

2010-11-20T22:09:00.004-05:00

I eventually arrived in body and mind.
Sleeping arrears have been taken care of within the first days.
Getting accustomed to the land and its cities took a little longer.
Living in the house with my mates and obtaining a way of communication,one week.
Feeling comfortable with Cincy's bus system and her streets - three weeks.
Finally being able to state, that I commenced thinking in English. Almost five weeks.
Stopped feeling homeless in a certain, irritating way. Right now.
Here, at this point, I reached my temporary destination. It will only be for one year, but I am glad to be here and I will enjoy every second of it.

jonathan

Settled down...!?

2010-11-14T21:20:00.002-05:00

So,

Cincinnati, Ohio - call it "home"? Jamie, Johnny and I (Thorsten) finally arrived somehow in what you could call everyday life. Jamie mostly works at home but tries to get out as much as possible, Johnny has a very responsible position at IHN and is able to tell something new from work every evening, and I am still in a phase that I would describe as "shadowing".

Within the last time there have been a lot of thing going on in this BVS community house: Jamie met a lot of new people through them we have been able to see a little bit more from Cincinnati than only the skyline. The visit of the Hofbräuhaus was a very special experience - especially for Johnny and me - the two Germans in the house.

Johnny received a van with which we are somehow mobile if there is a need to reach the outskirts of Cincinnati and he is about to start something quite new in his office... he is the next who is responsible for this blog so he might tell something about it.

And I was given the chance to see DCI - a prison in Dayton, approximately one hour away from Cincinnati. I also will be able to see the courthouse the coming week and interact more and more with clients. I pretty much switch between the three divisions in my office: Fatherhood Project, Family Re-entry and Work Force....

We get to see a little bit more from Cincinnati every day and a really looking forward to the upcoming time!

So please follow us during this time and keep on reading this blog!

Greeting from Cincinnati,

Thorsten

New beginnings

2010-10-25T15:08:00.003-04:00

Hard to believe we have been here 10 days. It has been a whirlwind!

We arrived last Saturday at 6:40 a.m. and Anne picked us up from the airport. When we got to the house Jonny and Thorsten were bouncing with excitement; I think I managed a big grin. We slept until about 1:30 and then Joe, Shannon, and Anne met at our house to exchange vehicles and for Joe and Shannon to meet us. Anne stayed and had a bite to eat with us and then we toured Walnut Hills until about 4:30. At 6:30 Ben W was at our door to take us to dinner with his awesome family.

Sunday was a great church service followed by lunch and a trip to the corn maze. It was nice to spend some extra time with a few of the children I will be involved with for the next year! Ben W's car broke down on the way so we ended up split in two groups of around 12. I had a paper to finish for my one of my master's classes so the guys fixed supper. It was really good! That night we had the pleasure of having Laura and Annette as house guests! That was a true blessing for me. I was exhausted and just needed listening ears, thank you both!

Monday was a day of exploration for me. I went through my new office and tried to stay busy as much as possible. That evening I went to Kroger and while I was there Laura called to say that she and her mom were going to a larger store and wanted to know if I and/or the guys would like to ride along. Thorsten and I went and it was a useful and productive trip. When we got back Anne was already at the house to give me the computer files I needed for my new responsibilities. (I did not budget my time quite right.)

Tuesday I had a welcome visit from Laura and Annette and we talked for a few minutes. Then I had my first meeting with Ben W at a local restaurant called Parkside Cafe. It was a great meal and a useful meeting. Ben dropped me at the post office and I walked home. That evening I made dinner for Jonny and I (Thorsten had to work late). We watched The Guardian and it was nice to relax.

Wednesday I took a tour of the neighborhood starting with the Post Office. Then I went to the Church of the Advent where I will be helping serve a community dinner this Wednesday 10.27. My final stop was at the local library branch to see what opportunities there might be for the children. That night I spoke to Anne on the phone about some more logistics of the party and we picked our Cincinnati Symphony ticket dates. Then the guys and I went downtown to T.J. Maxx. It was interesting getting home because the bus we took there had stopped running by the time we were ready to head back. Thank goodness the guys have experience with public transportation!

Thursday I spent the majority of the day working on the Halloween Block Party that is this coming Saturday from 4 to 6 p.m. (10.30.10). I sent an email to the church for the supplies that are needed. I also discovered there is an opportunity to organize waiting for me at the church! That evening Joe was kind enough to take us to another area. Jonny went to Best Buy and Thorsten and I went to Wal-Mart. I don't know when I have been so excited to go to my favorite getaway! (For those of you who may not know me as well this is not a joke. I am a simple girl!)

Friday was pretty much a loss for me. I do not know what came over me but I was an emotional wreck all day! Thankfully my grandma took the time to talk to me and remind me that I'm a child of the King and He has a plan and a purpose! That night Anne took me to Newport on the Levee and we went to see Waiting for Superman and had amazing pizza! It was a fantastic girls' night out!

Saturday I woke up and decided to pull my bootstraps up. The guys went on a bike ride so I had the house to myself again, but I made better use of it than a pity-party. I worked on devotions and Bible reading. When Joe came to get the guys I decided to ride along and they dropped me at a Panera Bread while they went to an electronics store. Shannon and Joe have a fabulous home and it was amazing to spend the evening with them. The food was phenomenal and the time in fellowship was just what I needed! We even got to experience Graeter's (a Cincinnati ice cream shop that has been in business 140 years).

Yesterday was a superb day! Church was fun! Then the meeting with Anne, Parker, and Katie was completely enjoyable. We had a wonderful house meeting! Then the guys and I went shopping for our food for the week and that was an economic success. Finally we came home and fixed supper. Then I got to watch The Amazing Race! I stayed up to post to the discussion board for my class and got to bed about 1 a.m.

Well, not sure that every time I post it will be like a journal, but it was just what I needed to do this time to know what all has gone on since we arrived. I hope people enjoy reading about what is going on in our lives. Please keep the Halloween Block Party in your prayers!

Jamie

What we leave behind

2010-10-15T10:52:00.002-04:00

Way back in late spring I started working on trying to get a garden put in at our house. There wasn't a lot of space, most of the available space was sorta shady, and the soil wasn't exactly ideal. So, after a small plot was tilled up and a meddlesome tree branch mysteriously disappeared all I needed was dirt.

Umm, hey, dirt... Dirt?

Dirt ended up being way up on the north side of Cincinnati, barely within the city limits. Laura had located it with some help from the Civic Garden Center. There was a dump site at a small park where the city deposited their leaf debris. As the years rolled by the pile turned into a super duper mountain of composted leaf dirt that was free for the taking. Great!

Well, mostly great. How the heck was I gonna get it down to our house? We didn't have a car at the time and I couldn't think of anybody that would have been particularly excited to let me borrow their car so I could haul dirt. Who did I know with a truck...? Umm, not a whole bunch of people. I had one offer from my co-worker's husband but it ended up that he double booked homself with a family get-together. Drat.

Finally I got a solid hit. Our good friend, Bethinary Bekah, was in town for a few days in late July. She has a car - score! In exchange for some gas money and Graeter's ice cream she drove me up to the park to get dirt. Since there was no truck bed we had to put the dirt inside the car. We filled up 2 trashcans, 2 recycling bins, and 5 five gallon buckets - not too bad for her little Saturn Ion. There was a similarly sounding story replayed a few weeks later with Laura and her equally diminutive yet dependable '85 Camry. I had dirt!

Unfortunately, I had dirt at the end of July. For those of you who know a thing or two about gardening, that's not exactly the ideal time to be planting your garden, especially if it's something that takes a little longer to grow. Tomatoes would be a good example of this. Most of what I had to plant was tomatoes courtesy of Laura having extra starts from the community garden. Oh well; I took a shot at it anyway.

We had tomatoes in the front flower bed, the raised bed that I built from random lumber, and the in-ground garden in the not-as-shady-as-it-used-to-be backyard. There were other plants that went in as well - peppers, beans, potatoes, zucchini - but the tomatoes were the the most plentiful and one of my favorites. I was super excited to see them grow and produce lots of tomatoes. I had dreams of having so many tomatoes that we would be giving them away to people at church and in the neighborhood, meeting more neighbors in the process. We certainly had enough plants for it to happen, but would they mature in time to produce?

It was a rough summer for growing anything due to the heat and the lack of rain that went with it. Cincinnati collectively turned a dried-out yellowish brown. Our garden hose at the house didn't really reach to any of the flower beds or gardens (seriously, who picked that one?) so all of the watering happened by way of a doctored-up-with-duct-tape watering can. I didn't really mind lugging around the watering can; it was sometimes rather therapeutic at the end of a long day at work. The unpleasant part was the massive amounts of mosquitoes. In a drought? How did that happen? I really don't know, but it happened. ALL. SUMMER. LONG. Ugh. Stupid mosquitoes.

Sometime around late August, maybe early September, one of the tomato plants in the front flower bed gave us our first tomatoes. They weren't huge but it was a start. As the calendar crept toward the end of September the one single plant kept producing while the dozens of other plants just kinda hung out. Nada. Not even one single bloom. Finally, one day I went to water them and there were blooms. Yes, blooms! It wasn't just one plant, either; four or five plants had decided they were gonna get in on this whole "producing fruit" business. Better late than never, right?

It might have been too late, though. Our Indian summer took a break and the temperatures plummeted with the daytime highs struggling to get into the mid-60's. The tomatoes stopped growing and just kinda hung out, content to remain in whatever state this chillier weather had caught them. I wanted to scream at them, "Hurry up! Don't you know we're on a timetable here?!? I'm leaving soon and the first frost will be here before you know!" Sadly, tomatoes don't have ears so they were not persuaded.

The weather warmed up finally and the tomatoes went back to turning their little yellow starbust flowers into tiny green tomato orbs. I knew it was too late for me, though. The clock had ticked far enough past the point of hoping to see any of those little chartreuse promises turn into the reddish ripe fruits that I'd envisioned months earlier. I had known from the start that it would have been a close call as to whether or not this garden would produce anything before I left since it got started so late. Despite the one tomato that had put forth it's plum-sized bounty for the past month, I felt defeated. You can't win every time you gamble.

I kept up with watering the gardens anyway. Like I said, it was mildly therapeutic and even if I wouldn't get to see the end result I had still enjoyed the process and watching it all happen. In a way I felt like I owed it to the plants to see them through to the end of my time in Cincinnati since I had put them in the ground in the first place.

Finally I arrived at my last day in Cincinnati. Katie had already left and Laura was back in Nebraska for the week. Anne and her mom were out and about getting Anne's new apartment ready. I had the house to myself; you could probably count on your fingers how many times that happened in the past year. I needed to finish (read: start) packing for my train out of town that night but first I had something else to take care of - there was a garden that needed to be watered one last time.

As I wandered from one garden to then next I enjoyed thinking about how much these beds had transformed in the past few months. A few of the plants had never really taken off and thrived but a good number of them looked like healthy, happy flora. The sky overhead was darker than usual and the wind had picked up from earlier in the day but you couldn't smell any rain in the air. On one of my trips to fill up the watering can I stopped to talk to Carla, our neighbor, and let her know this was my last day in Cincinnati. We talked a bit about the year and what was happening with our house.

While we were talking a thought crossed my mind. I ran around to the front of the house and gathered our last six tomatoes from the one plant that had produced for us. There was also one solitary pepper on a very sad looking pepper plant around on the side. I snatched that up as well and took them around to the side fence, presenting them to Carla. It wasn't much, but it was all we had. She was receiving 100% of our pepper harvest that year and possibly the last of our tomatoes. Carla said she was looking forward to having the tomatoes on her salad the next day. I mentioned that since we were moving she could help herself to anything else that might still come in after we left. This seemed to please her as she talked about possibly making green tomato salsa or relish.

We said our goodbyes and I went back to watering the gardens. There was plenty on my mind as I was processing moving, my last day of work, what was coming next, packing, and life in general. As I emptied the last can of water on the last row of tomatoes the wind began to pick up. It was dusk and there was a slight glow in the air as the setting sun tried to push through the clouds that blanketed the sky. The yellow leaves from the thornless honey locust by Laura's window began to fly off the branches by the hundreds and the leaves from the Bradford pear joined in the dance as well. With the wind came the smell in the air that I had been missing so much: rain.

It was on its way. I put down the watering can and stood in our backyard with my arms outstretched, letting the wind and leaves whip themselves around me. As the first raindrop hit my right forearm there was a sense of reassurance that came over me. I hadn't really acknowledged it too much until now but I was worried about what would happen after I left. Would the next volunteers work out as well? What would happen to the raised bed on the side of the house? Would anybody water the plants at our old house if the frost stayed away? Who would be the back-up piano player at church for when Saundra was out of town? What if nobody at work wanted to sing with Jeanne or whistle for Georgine or remind Eve to water her philodendron?

With that one raindrop I was reminded that Cincinnati would continue on without me there. Everything would be okay. The new volunteers would learn the ropes and bring their own gifts to the house, congregation, and their projects. There would be music in the church, someone would sing with Jeanne, and the rain would come when it was needed. The four of us may have been leaving the house and our projects, but we had left plenty behind for those who were coming next. After a few minutes I picked the watering can back up and heading inside to get back to packing.

Good-bye, Cincinnati. Thanks for a year I won't forget anytime soon.

Also, thanks to anyone who followed along on our year-long venture in Walnut Hills. What a ride it has been.

Peace to you on your journeys.

Joyful Girl

2010-10-01T10:41:00.018-04:00

Joyful Girl By Ani DiFranco

i do it for the joy it brings

because i'm a joyful girl

because the world owes me nothing

and we owe each other the world

i do it because it's the least i can do

i do it because i learned it from you

and i do it just because i want to

because i want to

everything i do is judged

and they mostly get it wrong

but oh well'cuz the bathroom mirror has not budged

and the woman who lives there

can tell the truth from the stuff that they say

and she looks me in the eye and says

would you prefer the easy way

no, well o.k. then don't cry

i wonder if everything i do

i do instead of something i want to do more

the question fills my head

i know there's no grand plan here

this is just the way it goes

when everything else seems unclear

i guess at least i know

i do it for the joy it brings

because i'm a joyful girl

because the world owes me nothing

and we owe each other the world

i do it because it's the least i can do

i do it because i learned it from you

and i do it just because i want to

because i want to

Between work, studying for LSATS, problems at home and the general chaos that occurs in the ending of things, I realize I have not been taking care of myself properly. I've made myself so sick, in fact, that I landed myself in the emergency room of Jewish Hospital this past week.

Have I learned anything from this experience? Yes I have. All my life, I have taken on other people's problems and made them my own cross to bear. I am the one suffering for it in the long run. I get disappointed, mostly with myself , when people I care about (and who I believe care about me) fail to live up to my expectations. I am beginning to understand that I soak up the good and the bad equally, like a sponge. I need to be able to filter what is and isn't important. I have always been sensitive, and this has been looked upon by others as a fault or a weakness. Maybe these people are right.

Then again, maybe they don't deserve to know anything real about me. I have shared so much of my life in the hopes of being able to meet somewhere in the middle, yet more often than not, I am standing in the middle of nowhere with not a soul in sight. I want so much to say that I'm going to stop trying to search for that elusive meeting place, but I would be lying to myself. I think that one of the most beautiful parts of me is that I am not afraid to care. I want to always be able to state for the record that I did everything I could do. If things don't go the way I hoped they would, I am going to try to accept this fact with a nod of my head. Time to move on. May the book of my heart always be open on the table for those who genuinely want to know me.

I won't forget the experiences that I have had here in Cincinnati. I have some wonderful moments to cherish, as well as hard lessons to learn and grow from. I don't want to think that being sensitive is a weakness, but rather a strength not many possess nor appreciate. A blessing and a curse. A tear and a smile. I couldn't have done the work that I do without truly caring about the lives of the women I have come in contact with. I thank God for it. Would I have done so last week? Probably not. I was in a different place then. It's amazing how just a week of experiences can profoundly impact one's outlook on life. I have been rewarded with a wonderful project and I will fondly remember the people at Talbert House/women I have mentored for the rest of my life. In saying goodbye to the women's collaborative at our last workgroup meeting today, I hope that they realized how much they have helped me to become a joyful girl in the work that I do. The world owes me nothing, but we owe each other the world. I do it because it's the least I can do, and because I learned it from my mother. Most of all, I do it just because I want to.

Washington, D.C. is waiting for me to come back, and I am ready for it. Next week when I leave this city, I hope it is a bright and beautiful autumn day. Can you imagine it?: A sky like glistening sapphires. No clouds to be seen. Well...if there must be clouds, I hope they are the soft and fluffy kind. The ones you feel like you can curl up and read a good book on. A gentle breeze to ruffle my hair. Leaves that will loosen their hold on tree limbs to dance in the wind just for me. A cup of coffee in one hand and the other waving goodbye. I want to say farewell in style. Getting on the interstate, I know that I will turn my head around, maybe even lean out of the window, for one last glimpse of the softly fading city. Yes, that's me. I've always had a fondness for last glimpses.

Your friend always,

Katie

In My Life

2010-09-24T12:07:00.004-04:00

As I'm writing this post I'm reminded of where I was this time last year. I was at BVS orientation in New Windsor, MD trying to figure out where I should go to volunteer. Katie Baker and I were preparing to celebrate our birthdays (which we will be doing this weekend :), and all of us in orientation were getting to know one another. Little did I know how much that decision of where I would volunteer would change my life. There was no guarantee that I would like my placement, city, or the people I would be around. As it turned out, moving to Cincinnati was absolutely the right choice for me.

I've had so many interesting and eye opening experiences and learned lessons I never expected to. This past year has not been easy, and while I would change a few things that happened, I would not change where it has brought me and how it has made me the person I am at this moment. I'm thankful for the children God let me fall in love with - I'm writing this when they are in the middle of a good behavior streak! I'm thankful for the many people from all walks of life that have crossed my path, only for a moment or some for an entire year.

There are still many unknowns in my future, though some things are shaping up, but I am OK with that because life would not be the adventure that it is without unknowns. I'm choosing to walk step by step into the future smiling, ready to experience what lies ahead. What I do know is that at least for a little while I'll be calling Cincinnati home.

Peace and Blessings,

Anne

The glorious arrival of Autumn

2010-09-09T12:36:00.006-04:00

is mellowing my emotions.

The cool, dry breeze made it's arrival in Walnut Hills today. It is purging me of nightmares of new apartments infested with bedbugs and going jobless for too long. I would take a nap in the grass if the chiggers wouldn't get me.

It has been so dry this last month that the leaves seem to be turning prematurely.
Maybe I'm turning a little early, too. My BVS term is over in a little under five weeks but I feel ready. Even though I don't have a job lined up or an apartment rented... or anything to put in an apartment... or money to buy that stuff with...whatever is waiting down the road feels more right than staying where I am.
BVS has offered me all kinds of experiences; most I never would have considered. The beginning of this new road is one I had no vision of last summer, and yet, it does feel like the right place to be.

My pieces are not falling together like Ben's, and it's a little disheartening.
But there's an element here that's very akin to what I feel when I pull into my parent's drive way after a long time away. This change feels like coming home.

I'll take the comfort while I can.
Goodness knows, I won't feel the same tomorrow.

Best,

Laura

Fitting the pieces together

2010-09-02T08:23:00.004-04:00

In the past few weeks things have begun to click for me in the "What's next?" category. The big news is that I'm headed officially to Portland, OR (though the date of arrival is still being figured out) to live in another developing community house with some super cool people. Two of my in-the-near-future housemates were in my original BVS unit three years ago - Heather and Jon. The other housemate will be my late-night running partner from various previous encounters, Miss Chelsea. I'm really excited to see how all of this works out. West coast? Me? Really? Finally? YES!

Today is another turning point for my year here because I'm starting to get rid of stuff instead of accruing it. That's right, I'm beginning to pack stuff up and get it out of here so that I'll actually be able to fit my bags on the train whenever I get on it (and wherever it's going). I head out in less than an hour for a pretty cool road trip back to Virginia with some super exciting stops along the way. In all, I'm hoping to make at least eight pit stops or layovers with friends and family members, some of whom I haven't seen in more than five years. That doesn't even include the stay in Nokesville. I'm totally stoked.

And then there's the grand poobah of it all. On Sunday we'll be celebrating my grandpa's 90 years and turning it into a big ol' family reunion. All eight of his kids will be there as well as the majority of his 26 grandkids and maybe even all of the great-grandkids. Whatever the case, there's sure to be nummy food, harmonious music, and some good-natured name-calling. Mmm, mmm, good.

Well, it's off to go get the rental car. I hope your puzzles are all falling into place as well. Or not; that keeps it more interesting.

The Merry-Go-Round

2010-08-23T12:21:00.019-04:00

It would be good to give much thought, before
you try to find words for something so lost,
for those long childhood afternoons you knew
that vanished so completely -and why?

We're still reminded-: sometimes by a rain,
but we can no longer say what it means;
life was never again so filled with meeting,
with reunion and with passing on

as back then, when nothing happened to us
except what happens to things and creatures:
we lived their world as something human,
and became filled to the brim with figures.

And became as lonely as a shepherd
and as overburdened by vast distances,
and summoned and stirred as from far away,
and slowly, like a long new thread,
introduced into that picture-sequence
where now having to go on bewilders us.

--Childhood by Rainer Maria Rilke

I am like a flag in the center of open space.
I sense ahead the wind which is coming, and must live
it through.
while the things of the world still do not move:
the doors still close softly, and the chimneys are full
of silence,
the windows do not rattle yet, and the dust still lies down.

I already know the storm, and I am troubled as the sea.
I leap out, and fall back,
and throw myself out, and am absolutely alone
in the great storm.

--Sense of Something Coming by Rainer Maria Rilke

It is hot...so hot. Like all of this world's warmth is pouring over you, swirling around you and burning fiercely within you. There is a searing, set, stony quality to this day. The earth is parched beneath your feet and clouds of dust envelope you as you continue forward. You look up and there you see it...bright lights in the distance. Your heart quickens in almost painful anticipation, so you pick up your pace and vainly stretch out your arms. You're not there yet, but no matter, you just hold out your arms even further. Almost there. You enter through the rusted gates, and a great spectacle of sights, sounds and smells awaits you. A carnival you were unaware of until this moment is in progress. Just when you think that you will be suffocated by the heavy throngs of the madding crowd, they part for you like the red sea. There is something here you didn't notice before. A merry-go-round, in the very center of this place, is beckoning to you. So you lift up your feet and eagerly walk towards it. This merry-go-round is the most beautiful one you have ever seen. Its animals have been freshly painted, the brass polished and glistening and the lights reflect back to you from its immaculately cleaned mirrors. You find the most colorfully-bedecked horse that you can and climb on. In a few moments, the music echoes through the air and the ride lurches to life. You are overcome with happiness for just a little while. You can't help but to notice, however, that the song it plays is not a cheerful one. If a lifetime of pain and regret could be written into just a few bars of repetitious refrain, then this would be it. You want to get off, but with dread you realize it is too late.

You continue to move around and around, coming full-circle in a dizzying whirl over and over again. There are people surrounding the merry-go-round, and you recognize them as your family and friends. Something is wrong...they are crying. Your smile of recognition freezes in place and is replaced by a cold knot of fear that begins in your stomach but rapidly spreads throughout your entire body.You have become frozen by this fear that encompasses you. Their mouths are moving but no sound comes out. You are speaking too but you can't even hear yourself. Nothing is heard but the music of the carousel that threatens to deafen you with its intensity.You frantically turn to look in the mirrors, as if they somehow hold the solution to your dilemma. They begin to ripple, but the only thing they reveal to you is your own hastily-reflected image.

You are beginning to believe that all hope is lost when the ride suddenly begins to slow. You stumble down and begin to crawl away from the carousel. You look over your shoulder and see that it is in ruinous decay. Its paint that you once compared to the colors of a rainbow, has become garish in this new light of dawning awareness. Flecks of chipped paint are beginning to settle to the earth like confetti. You are searching for those familiar faces, but somewhere along the way they disappeared, and you are now gazing into the eyes of pitiless strangers. You struggle to seek purchase on solid ground but the world has become a veritable wasteland of broken dreams and promises...your dreams and promises. They are strewed upon the ground for as far as the eye can see. You wonder how long you were circling...minutes, days, weeks, months, years? You search for a way out but the gates have vanished. You continue to aimlessly walk this foreign no-man's land. You are startled out of your reverie, and with tears streaming down like miniature rivers upon your dusty face, you know that you have become lost here. Just what you have always denied would happen has finally occurred...the doors are no longer open to you.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
This may not be you or me, but I do know people who exist here. It is the stuff of nightmares, and I willingly visit it often in my mind. In my dreams, I can clearly see a long, dark hallway with just one flickering bulb to light my way. The floorboards creak and groan with the weight of my footsteps. At the end of this hallway is a door that is always slightly ajar. I know what is behind it, and tentatively I wrap my fingers around the doorknob and push open the heavy door. Here it is, the wasteland I tried to describe to you. In slow motion I walk the outskirts, always on the periphery, trying to gain some semblance of understanding for the people I love who inhabit this plane. I sift through the rubble like a detective investigating a crime scene for precious clues. What went wrong here, I repeatedly ask myself? I search as though I can actually pinpoint some pivotal moment in these peoples' lives where everything changed for them. What a futile search. They are here because of a culmination/accumulation of misguided, and oftentimes, blind choices. These choices built upon each other until they became a ponderous chain of regret and misplaced anger that holds them prisoner here. There is a stillness that exists just before a storm, and it is always with a heavy heart that I step back through the door that is only visible to me. The floorboards just inside of the door have been worn thin with my pacing, and a sigh from the very depths of my soul escapes my lips. This is because I know I am powerless to undo their shackles and take them with me when I leave.

I have seen many kinds of people roaming this place. They ride the main attraction: the merry-go-round where they are either unable or unwilling to get off. Some are cognizant of their entrapment, while others are mournfully ignorant. Some are here because they never believed enough in their dreams...they were too afraid to bravely trace the sky. Others are here because they did try, but soon gave up because it was just too difficult. The saddest of all are those who never had a dream to begin with. I have heard some who refuse to meet life, but instead choose to shun it and call it hard names. I have witnessed the ones I love turn to drugs and alcohol in a desperate measure to capture the fleeting happiness that always seemed to elude them in their daily lives. People die everyday having lived someone else's dream, but never their own. These empty figures call out to me and gesture to me to come closer. They want me to stand in line and take a number just like them. They can't wait for others to fail so they can place a falsely sympathetic hand upon your shoulder and say "Oh well, better luck next time." They want to whisper doubts into my heart, but I refuse their siren call.

I have waded through the wreckage of other peoples' lives with my dreams still intact. Come what may, I know that I will always believe in the beauty of my dreams. The future belongs to people like that.

I have lived a lifetime in one touch, one smile, one laugh, one kiss, one embrace, one dance... They surge to the forefront of my memories yet. A long walk along a forgotten road, somewhere (anywhere) I've never been before, good food (red beets :D ), playing the piano, hearing music plain and simple, eyes filled with love, friends old and new, a good book, porch swings, studying anything historical, Gettysburg, warm beds on cold winter nights, fresh cups of delicious coffee, leaves crunching beneath my feet, kittens, Christmas trees, the sound of rain falling on a tin roof, driving through the mountains, cool breezes on hot summer days, the magic of first snow, Fall foliage, the smell of the ocean, toasts on New Year's, running for no reason at all...all of these passionate things have the power to fill me up and undo me at the same time. There may come a day when someone you care about is at a point in their life when they feel like their dreams are out of reach, and so they turn to you and ask, "What do I have to live for?" You can tell them every blessedly small and intensely moving moment that makes up what they believe at first glance to be the dull minutiae of their days. I truly believe that this is the stuff dreams are made of.

I want to leave you with a poem that gives me peace:

I would not exchange the sorrows of my heart
For the joys of the multitude.
And I would not have the tears that sadness makes
To flow from my every part turn into laughter.

I would that my life remain a tear and a smile.

A tear to purify my heart and give me understanding
Of life's secrets and hidden things.
A smile to draw me nigh to the sons of my kind and
To be a symbol of my glorification of the gods.

A tear to unite me with those of broken heart;
A smile to be a sign of my joy in existence.

I would rather that I died in yearning and longing than that I live Weary and despairing.

I want the hunger for love and beauty to be in the
Depths of my spirit,for I have seen those who are
Satisfied the most wretched of people.
I have heard the sigh of those in yearning and Longing, and it is sweeter than the sweetest melody.

With evening's coming the flower folds her petals
And sleeps, embracing her longing.
At morning's approach she opens her lips to meet
The sun's kiss.

The life of a flower is longing and fulfilment.
A tear and a smile.

The waters of the sea become vapor and rise and come
Together and area cloud.

And the cloud floats above the hills and valleys
Until it meets the gentle breeze, then falls weeping
To the fields and joins with brooks and rivers to Return to the sea, its home.

The life of clouds is a parting and a meeting.
A tear and a smile.

And so does the spirit become separated from
The greater spirit to move in the world of matter
And pass as a cloud over the mountain of sorrow
And the plains of joy to meet the breeze of death
And return whence it came.

To the ocean of Love and Beauty----to God.

A Tear and a Smile by Khalil Gibran

A friend always,
Katie

It's About the Process

2010-08-13T16:54:00.008-04:00

There are many days lately where when I crawl into bed at night I wonder, "Why did I do all that today? Does anything I did today matter? Why am I working so hard?" I'll be honest and say that somedays what I do doesn't have an impact on anyone or really matter. However, then there are days like last Sunday that show me how much days, weeks, and months of work can pay off in a big way.

Last Sunday we dedicated four peace murals at Cincinnati COB. Yes those murals I have talked about several times over the last few months! These murals were a result of four to five months of project and curriculum planning and creation. Many nights and days were spent painting in the church basement. Taking a blank 4X8 sheet of plywood and turning it into a piece of art is a long process. You have to first teach the kids what it means to be a peacemaker, get their ideas for murals, turn those ideas into real designs, prime, draw, outline, paint with kids, finish painting, top coat, and construct frames. I cannot draw, not one of my talents, so this peace mural creation turned into a BVS house effort with Laura and Ben drawing designs and Ben and Katie helping Laura and I to paint.

Many times during the process I wanted to give up, and I did in fact scream when it seemed like there were complications at every step. All of this was worth it though when the murals went up outside the church, and the whole congregation loved them! The kids get to look at the murals and see something they helped to create, adults walking by will hopefully ponder the messages of the murals, and our neighborhood now really knows that there is life inside the church. Sometimes it takes seeing the end result to understand the need for all the steps in between. I think this is true not just for the peace mural process, but for life as a whole. I wonder now why it is such a painstaking process to find a job, set off in a new direction after BVS. I have to believe it is because I can't reach where I'm going without going step by step.

Here are some more photos of the finished murals, enjoy!

Blessings,

Anne

Like split pea soup.

2010-08-04T16:08:00.005-04:00

After nearly a week, the fog of procrastination is beginning to dissipate.
That's why you're reading this now instead of last Tuesday.

I'm a serious procrastinator. It can appear in the morning in the form of sleeping hours past my good-faith alarm (HA!-- a perk of working from home) or in the evening when I "lose" my work folder under the bed or a pile of clothes.
The procrastination fog was so dense and soupy this time that I inevitably wasted time by looking up the definition of "waste time".
Did you know that time is only being watsted if you've finished all feasible responsibilities? If this is true, I didn't waste a second for the last week!

Sometimes it's obvious why I get stuck in the procrastination mud(scary term paper, really unappealing weather, fear of failure, etc.), but other times I can't see the fog for the fog.

Post-Cincinnati plans have been bearing down pretty hard on everyone in the house lately. We talk about it in a nonchalant way saying, "My aunt asked me what I'm doing after this is over... again...(sigh)..." or
"My friend from college is starting med school in two weeks. I wonder if she needs a roommate?" or
"Did Obama legalize visiting Cuba, yet?"

I can't speak for the other three living here, but I was feeling completely overwhelmed by trying to get all my ducks to line up in a row last week.

I had to let them flounder for a while and float myself back out into a fog of nothing. Ignoring their quacks of urgency, I stared into the misty valleys of social networking sites and the shrouded glens of alternative news. I surfaced for an hour or so to make a not-so-impressive dinner for Ben, Katie and Anne and then sunk into my bed.

It's over now.
I'm back to paying attention to work, friends, family and job searching.
The panic is gone.
This isn't very thought provoking stuff, but it has a little merit. Try it if you have the time; especially if you don't.
Sometimes you need to sit in the fog to gain clarity.

-Laura

Too Many Starfish, Not Enough Hands

2010-07-12T23:58:00.001-04:00

I feel that my placement at the family homeless shelter has been a decent fit for me. The staff is generally supportive, the work isn’t monotonous, and it gets me out of the neighborhood where I live. Good, super, and great. Lately, though, I’ve been reminded a few times about some of the not-so-great parts of my job.

A few weeks ago I was doing an intake for a mom with six kids. Six!? Yes, six. As we were going through the eligibility discussions it came to light that she was in the process of being evicted. Ugh. This is an area where I don’t know quite as much as I’d like to so I sometimes need to involve one of the other case managers who knows the process a little better. The mom went to meet with the shelter case manager to talk about how far along she was with the eviction, why it was occurring, and all that good stuff. It ended up that she was ineligible for staying at our shelter; she wasn’t close enough to being kicked out of her house by the sheriff.

Seriously!? Here’s a mom with a larger-than-average family that currently has no income and is being evicted for non-payment of rent and utilities. She was trying to do the right thing (in my opinion) by seeking help before she disrupted her kids’ lives even more than what they were already going through. Instead, she likely ended up couch surfing with friends and relatives. It wouldn’t be too much of a surprise if she had to send her kids to different houses because they couldn’t find family and friends with enough space to have seven house guests (which probably would violate their lease and put them at risk of eviction, too).

The reason we couldn’t bend the rules is in large part because of how some of our funding defines “homelessness.” You still technically have housing until your eviction goes to court, you are ordered out of the residence, and the sheriff’s office has given you a we’re-putting-your-stuff-on-the-curb-if-you’re-still-there date. At that point you have the eviction on your record and it will come up during background checks for employment, housing, and other services. Possibly the part that bothers me the most is that we would have let her stay if she had told us she was staying at her mom’s house or at her friend’s place and not said anything about the eviction. Grr.

On Mondays there’s a meeting in Over-the-Rhine that I try to attend unless I’m doing intakes for new families. All of the case managers from the family shelters get together to discuss difficult cases, get updates on processes and procedures, and basically vote on requests for funds. One of the case managers from one of the other shelters has been working with a client for a couple months and wanted some input for how to address some situations.

This client had qualified for a program that assisted with paying her rent for her new apartment with the agreement that she must also continue to work with her case manager on a regular basis. Her case manager had not been able to get in touch with her for a while because there were some issues going on. The client’s abusive boyfriend had moved into the apartment which violates the apartment lease as well as the program rules. He was also apparently pimping her out, though the money certainly wasn’t going toward paying for utilities or rent. There was suspected drug use as well.

We talked about some safety issues regarding home visits since the boyfriend is controlling and probably doesn’t want people messing with whatever he has going on there. Maybe the client’s parole officer could require that she meet with the case manager as part of her mandatory parole compliance. There were some good suggestions and thoughts but at the end of it all it was decided that the client needed to really be the one to put forth the initiative to continue with the case management or she would be kicked out of the program.

Seriously!? She’s in an abusive relationship where she obviously is not the one calling the shots and you think she’s magically going to one day wake up and decide to get on track with the program? Ugh. I don’t believe for a second that the other case managers aren’t aware of this and they probably even have a better understanding of it than I do. We have relegated ourselves to accepting that this is how it’s going to be. It seems shameful that there wasn’t more concern for her safety and her kids. However, we can’t help everybody or we’d barely help anybody. I don’t like knowingly letting someone get lost in a situation that they don’t want to be in, but this isn’t my client and there are limitations to the scope of our assistance. It sucks.

The shelter has been a struggle to place how I feel about it after nine months. Homelessness is certainly a societal issue which needs to be addressed and I’ve learned a great deal about the struggles and mentalities of those that are experiencing homelessness or poverty. I don’t necessarily believe that the current system works. I definitely don’t believe that we can fix all of a family’s lifetime of tendencies, habits, and struggles during a month-long shelter stay. What gets me through some days, though, is believing that our shelter is helping at least a little bit. We can’t help everybody, but hopefully we’re helping somebody.

The Starfish Story

Once upon a time, there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work.

One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself at the thought of someone who would dance to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up.

As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up small objects, and throwing them into the ocean.

He came closer still and called out "Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?"

The young man paused, looked up, and replied "Throwing starfish into the ocean."

"I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?" asked the somewhat startled wise man.

To this, the young man replied, "The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don't throw them in, they'll die."

Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, "But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can't possibly make a difference!"

At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said, "It made a difference for that one."

~Loren Eiseley

You're Not Home Yet

2010-07-07T11:10:00.009-04:00

A missionary who had served overseas for 40 years was forced to return home to the United States because his health was failing. He arrived in New York on the same ocean liner that was returning Teddy Roosevelt home from an African safari. There he saw a huge crowd at the dock waiting to give Roosevelt a grand reception. As the missionary watched the hubbub and commotion and heard the accolades and cheers of the crowd, he began to feel both envious and sorry for himself. He arrived alone. There was no one to greet him. In a fit of despair he prayed, "Lord, I've given my life to serve You as a missionary and now not a soul welcomes me home." Hearing the pain and sorrow of His servant, our gracious Father replied, "My dear child, you're not home yet!"

I want so much to remember everyday the real and true reason why I decided to join BVS. It was not out of a desire to be recognized and rewarded for the work that I do, but rather for the simple need to be a part of something greater than myself. To help others, as cliched as that may sound, was the core of what I perceived a year of service in BVS would be. What I wanted it to be. When we devote our lives to serving others, we should all strive to remember that earthly praise and glory are pithy in comparison to what lies ahead.

In regards to our lives in general, I think of how easy it is to forget that when we are surrounded by others who are praised and thanked constantly for the work that they do, and you cannot begin to fathom why this is when you do just as much. I could never understand why some people seemingly have all the luck in the world when others have to struggle incessantly for every last inch of forward ground. A few years ago, I recall crying to my mother and saying that I felt like one of the latter kinds of people. I was so physically and emotionally tired and it seemed as though I was always facing one hardship after another. There never was an end in sight, or so I thought at the time. Being the voice of wisdom that she is, she reminded me of the story of the missionary that she used to tell me many years ago... another lifetime ago. You're not home yet.

No, I'm not home yet. I can clearly bring to mind all of the hardships and struggles that I have overcome in my life, and it has only been in the last few years that I can appreciate how much better of a person I am for these experiences. How fitted I am to do the work that I do, because of the things I have been through myself. It was for a reason after all.

I never thought that mentoring women offenders would be easy. Far from it. Little did I know just how emotionally taxing it would be, however. I have stepped so far out of my comfort zone into a territory previously left uncharted. How can I describe the way I have felt these past nine months? For some time, I envisioned my life and this new experience as one who has been wandering down an ostensibly long and immeasurable, dusty road. On my shoulders were all of the burdens that I had to bear, and each time one of the women shared some painful, yet sacred part of themselves, one more burden would be placed upon my stooped shoulders. My heart was filled to the brim with all of the distress and suffering of these women, that I was just waiting for my heart to burst from the inside out. Other times, it felt as though my heart had fallen to the ground, and I did not think I would ever have the strength to pick it back up again. So many times have I had to feign happiness so others couldn't see the sadness that penetrated the very core of my being. How horribly sad it is to feel so weary at 23.

I wanted to change the way in which I viewed these experiences. I've been thinking for awhile about the story of the missionary who worked so long for others and came home to a shore void of human thanks and praise. I am truly beginning to realize that it does not matter who on this earth recognizes us for the work that we do. I have never done something solely for validation and credit from other people. I never have, and I never will. It feels good, no doubt about it, but it really only provides a fleeting kind of happiness. The more I see this, the more I feel elated. My heart grows wings. The world is boundless, and I am flying close to the ground. The whisper of grass blades beneath my feet exist to remind me that I am moving towards something over the horizon that is infinitely beautiful and good. I'm not home yet.

**********************************************************************************
This past weekend Laura, Ben, Anne, and I traveled to Pittsburgh for Annual Conference. What a beautiful city! I fell in love with it instantly. It was my first time going to Annual Conference, but I hope it won't be my last. I didn't know what to expect, but I really did enjoy my time there.
In between insight sessions and worship services, we all found things to do. We explored the city and Ben even ran a 5k race where he came in 3rd!!!! Mind you, the people who came in 1st/2nd are seasoned veterans of this race. He is such an amazing runner.
I was so happy for Laura as well. She has been waiting so long to finally see someone again, and when she finally saw this person, her happiness was so pervasive that one couldn't help but to be happy too.

Whoa!!!!! This is a long post.

A friend always,
Katie

Camp - Enjoying the Moments

2010-06-26T12:23:00.005-04:00

Tomorrow I head off to Woodland Altars, the Church of the Brethren camp for the Southern Ohio district. I'll be taking six kids from Cincy COB with me and I'll be a counselor.

This day has been a long time coming. First there was registration, then requesting supplies, counselor training, buying supplies, packing supplies, finding rides, and tomorrow finally going to camp.

Everything should be in place, I've planned lessons, games, and crafts, hoping to give the kids the best possible camp experience. This is the first time that most of these kids have gone to camp by themselves. For some of them, it will be the first time they have spent an extended period of time outside of the city, spent time with nature.

As I'm packing the last of the supplies I'm realizing that while I hope the kids enjoy what is planned, I think it will be all the unplanned things like games, songs, and campfires that will be memorable to the kids. The conversations and laughter during meals, seeing something new will be what they remember.

How often in our adult lives do we forget to enjoy the unplanned, to live in the moment? I know I often forget to enjoy those moments of spontaneity, those moments of living in the here and now, not the future. The BVS house did just that last weekend. We went to the Juneteenth festival at Mirror Lake by our house. We enjoyed food, music, and learned a little Civil War history. Not only that, we decided to make a trip to the Cincinnati Art Museum right next door and enjoyed wandering through the exhibits looking at the artistic gifts of artists spanning several centuries. Pretty much unplanned, but relaxing and fun!

So my challenge for myself and others is this - leave some space on the calendar this summer for the unplanned and see what happens, I bet it will be exciting! It's off to camp we go!!!

Anne

This is not a recording.

2010-06-15T16:12:00.010-04:00

On Tuesday night the BVS House of Cincinnati experienced another first:
Tornado siren!
After deciding whether to grab pillows and blankets or shoes and cellphones, we tromped down the basement stairs. The confusion over how we would all fit in the old coal room was cut short as the siren shut off after only 15 minutes. We all decided we'd rather mess around on Facebook and craigslist than talk in the basement. I think it was a bonding experience.

-----

I grew up in southeast Nebraska, where tornado season starts the beginning of May and ends in late July. My parents still live in one of the most active parts of the region. A few summers ago, a tornado sat itself down on my sister and brother-in-law's house and then jumped the road to the family farm. We lost a lot of buildings and machinery, and nearly all our trees, but amazingly, no one was hurt.

The Plains are notorious for tornadoes, but if you were to sit down with the people living there, most would tell you that tornadoes aren't something they worry about. My family's experience changed that for me. I used to watch storms in the distance from our backyard as they tore through fields and small communities-- always with a feeling of immunity to the haphazard destruction I could clearly see in someone else's life. But not anymore.

-----

Sometimes we watch each other from a distance. Ominous green clouds of silence are ignored. A humid space of ignorance hangs between us. In a whirlwind of frustration and sadness, words bond together to form rage. They plow indiscriminately through families, tearing permanent gashes in people that love us-- that we love. It leaves everything and everyone touched. Some are mute from shock. Some harness the rage of the words and cannot let it go. Some have no remnant of their former self. And some carry only the depression of what is lost.

Words are always chosen over weapons when the intent is to hurt deeply. So, choose your words with compassion and try not to be afraid of honesty. Love can survive rage, but it may falter if we are false to one another.

-Laura

Unintentionality

2010-06-08T02:53:00.007-04:00

When we arrived in Cincinnati almost 8 months ago we agreed to come live in an intentional community. We would spend time each week (and usually each day) working to make the house where we live into a home for the four of us. There would be a focus of intentionally making our community work.

Well, this past week it happened a little more on its own.

These are the super cool wristbands that were given out at the block party in our neighborhood. There was a block closed to traffic with a whole bunch of food and games on the street. Our contribution to the meal was a small vat of mashed potatoes and then the other half of the cookies we made for the "Bake-Off" competition (better luck next year...). The wristbands were to identify who had paid their dollar to take part in the festivities. Laura and I thought they were so cool we wore them all day on Monday, too. We looked like rockstars.

We only stayed at the shindig for an hour because we had some errands to take care of, but we actually met people that live near us. This has not been something our house has been particularly good at since we moved in. I sometimes wonder if we don't try hard enough to meet those who live around us or if the folks in our neighborhood really enjoy their privacy or both. Whatever the case, I don't think I recognized a single person beyond the two families that go to church with us. Hopefully that will begin to change and we'll get to know the community around us a little better. We'll at least know a few more faces now.

This evening we had a spur-of-the-moment community-building activity. After sweating through some deliciously spicy chips and homemade salsa (courtesy of Chef Katie) we decided to turn back the clock and become elementary-aged firefly hunters. Armed with glass jars we set out to create super cool lightning bug lanterns. I'm sure the view from our neighbors' houses was quite comical as we galavanted gleefully around the front yard then wove our way down to the park. There was even some company for us as two or three white-tailed deer stopped to hang out about 25 meters from where we had paused to count our intermittently luminous captives. Urban deer are around people enough that it generally doesn't phase them to be a couple dozen yards away. The mosquitoes were really glad we stopped to watch the deer, too. Stupid blood-sucking bugs.

We retreated back to our abode and set our firefly jars on the dining room table. We were hoping that the bugs might be more active with their blinking if they were around more of their own kind; after all, fireflies light up because they're looking for a date. There was one that put on a great show, climbing all over the inside of its jar, but the others were fairly disinterested in the local dating scene. Laura thought she might entice them with some music from her iPod. As romantic as it was and irregardless of Laura disc jockeying skillz, they still didn't really seem to care much for their fellow denizens. That is, until we discovered that there were some jazz lovers in our jars. Louis Armstrong and Ella Fitzgerald crooned out "Cheek to Cheek" and we finally got a few more to respond. It may have coincided with us trying to make them think our cell phones were huge fireflies, but I'd like to think it was the music.

After a few more minutes of firefly speed dating and cultural enlightenment, we set them free in our back yard. There was nothing intentional about planning for the firefly hunt but it was a great feeling of being comfortable in our own skins as we chased bugs in our pajamas down the street.

Intentional community is good; unintentional community might be even better.

P.S. As lovely as Katie's message was last week, I don't think our mockingbird friend has Internet access. Bummer. If you see our avian amigo, please let the featherbrained Figaro know what's going on.

Ode to a Mockingbird

2010-06-02T11:33:00.007-04:00

"Mockingbirds don't do one thing but make music for us to enjoy. ... That's why it's a sin to kill a mockingbird." From: To Kill a Mockingbird, by Harper Lee

Dear Mockingbird in our Backyard,

If you are reading this (and I hope that you are), I implore you to kindly wait to sing your sweet and mel(odious) refrain until it is actually daylight. Yes, I know dear bird, I have been confused lately too. It does appear that night is as bright as day due to our ever so conscientious neighbor's fog lights as I like to call them. The lights on the side of her house are suspiciously akin to lights one would find on a freight ship at sea in the dead of night.

Serenity now!!! I have been quietly pleading at times when said lights have illuminated my bedroom to the point of absurdity. Just when I believe that I can get used to the idea of sleeping in a light-drenched room, you feel the need to vent your frustrations as well. I understand that you have not been able to achieve a dream-filled slumber either, but in the name of all that is holy!!, please remember your loving friends at 2144.

Otherwise, I just may resort to extreme measures. With Harper Lee's words of wisdom aside, a well-aimed rock propelled in your direction during one of your tuning sessions(that may or may not be considered an accident), would subsequently be used to shatter the lights on the side of our neighbor's house. Kill two birds with one stone, as I always like to say.

Please don't be offended! I only meant that perhaps it would be best for us both if you considered finding a new home. What about an oak tree, or perhaps a locust tree? They are lovely this time of year, I hear. Or how about a dogwood or magnolia? I suppose any flowering tree really. As long as the flowers can properly frame your exquisite silhouette in all of your majestic might and glory. Was that too much? It's just that a bird of your stature and repute can ill-afford to be seen in any of the shabby trees we have to offer in our backyard. As your slavishly devoted friend, I have only your best interests at heart. Honest.

It is time for me to go now. I bid you adieu, and hopefully(VERY)soon, you will have found a home that befits your eminence and prestige.

A Helpful Friend Always,

Katie

We Are Who We Are

2010-05-26T13:30:00.007-04:00

The craziness of summer has begun with peace murals to paint, kids club programs to plan and run, and gardens to tend. Oh yeah, and that ever present job of looking for future employment after BVS is over!

As I'm doing all this stuff and working with my housemates to keep our place functioning, I'm constantly reminded of how different each one of us is from one another. How we grew up, the experiences we have had, our communication styles, you name it, effect who we are at this moment. That means that as much as we have gotten to know one another over the last 8 months, there are still debates over everything from the temperature of the AC to the definition of what "clean" really is. Our differences can lead to these somewhat frustrating exchanges, but they also make for wonderful discussions about things like the idea of expectations.

Our world would certainly be easier if we got to control everything and had similar thoughts, but then there would be no excitement, no drama. I'm not ready to live in that world, are you? Now if I could just remember to use this wonderful wisdom I am sharing that would be great! Maybe the long Memorial Day weekend vacation in PA with my family and good friends enjoying the beauty of Hegins, PA will help.

Speaking of differences, for your enjoyment here is a sample of the reading material we have been indulging in lately!!!

Blessings and have a happy start to summer,

Anne

She's always buzzin' just like--

2010-05-20T14:35:00.007-04:00

After stumbling out of bed last night at 3:30 AM, I pulled an unidentified bottle out of the cupboard and took two of whatever was in there. Pain is pain, right?

Gah.

Turns out they were Excedrin Migraine. Great when you have a migrane and it's daylight hours. Not so great when you don't have a migraine and the caffeine buzz won't let you sleep until 10 AM when you really should be out of bed writing Sunday School Curriculum for 5-8 year olds.

That is to say, I feel like I'm standing under this sign:

Last Wednesday I tried to add 17 words to my resume and it ended up taking 3 days. Is that not thinking clearly, or sabotage? I'm not the yelling kind, but I did end up calling Bill Gates all kinds of things he doesn't deserve. I figured it out eventually, but really could have used someone to say:

Someone should suggest Word Perfect be put on the Weapons of Mass Destruction list. I've come close to hysteria twice in the last week. That's gotta have something to do with depleted uranium. No more, man.

Maybe I'll post something relevant about BVS life/work/stuff after the evil has left my system.

-Laura

And next up is...!

2010-05-11T00:36:00.003-04:00

Somebody in our house may have had a birthday today (okay, well, technically it was yesterday now). This proclamation appeared on the fridge today while I was at work. Idle hands are what? Super fun? Yeah, that's what I thought, too.

Just as a certain housemate experienced an age change, the house collectively seems to be brimming with change. As Laura delves deeper into the inner workings of a children's garden her schedule changes. Katie's job description has been changing as she begins working with GED tutoring and classes. Anne's appearance has been changing as her hair gets longer and ends up in a ponytail more often.

One of the biggest changes that has come to light recently is the change of vision. True, we are still very much involved with our current jobs and schedules, but more and more, we are looking forward to what is to come. Words and phrases previously unheard of at our Fulton Avenue abode are now commonplace, such as "cover letter," "resume," and "chronological bulleting." That little dot on the horizon called "October" isn't huge right now, but the speck is growing each day as we sneak past the seven month anniversary of our arrival and sprawl into summer.

With that being said, I sometimes feel a bit of a disconnect from the house. My future plans are still hazy at best. While I know better than to say "never," I don't currently have any expectations of staying here in Cincy. Laura and Anne are seriously considering calling this area "home" for a while. Even Katie hasn't completely counted out the possibility of sticking around for a bit longer to explore her options here. It gives me the feeling of being the odd man out, and it's not just because I'm the only one with a Y chromosome.

On the other hand, it's exciting to see the three people which whom I've lived for over half a year continue on with their life journeys. Even better yet is knowing that wherever they end up after October, it'll be somewhere completely different than where they would have envisioned themselves this time last year. Who knew Cincinnati could be, you know... nice? Once upon a time, not too long ago, the four of us wouldn't have believed it.

These changes - I think they are good.

Keep Smiling

2010-04-26T10:54:00.009-04:00

Journey By Edna St. Vincent Millay
"Ah, could I lay me down in this long grass And close my eyes, and let the quiet wind Blow over me—I am so tired, so tired Of passing pleasant places! All my life, Following Care along the dusty road, Have I looked back at loveliness and sighed;Yet at my hand an unrelenting hand Tugged ever, and I passed. All my life long Over my shoulder have I looked at peace;And now I fain would lie in this long grass And close my eyes.Yet onward!Cat birds call Through the long afternoon, and creeks at dusk Are guttural. Whip-poor-wills wake and cry, Drawing the twilight close about their throats. Only my heart makes answer. Eager vines Go up the rocks and wait; flushed apple-trees Pause in their dance and break the ring for me; And bayberry, that through sweet bevies thread Of round-faced roses, pink and petulant,Look back and beckon ere they disappear.Only my heart, only my heart responds. Yet, ah, my path is sweet on either side All through the dragging day,—sharp underfoot. And hot, and like dead mist the dry dust hangs—But far, oh, far as passionate eye can reach, And long, ah, long as rapturous eye can cling,The world is mine: blue hill, still silver lake, Broad field, bright flower, and the long white road. A gateless garden, and an open path: My feet to follow, and my heart to hold."

It is a testament to the chaos of my work schedule that I am currently feeling as though I am trapped inside of a monstrous whirlwind that is spinning me around with no apparent end in sight. Right now, I am going to three places for mentoring: The Justice Center, Pathways and Rewards Jail Intervention. Not only do I have to be a coordinator for this program but I have to simultaneously come to these places and be a mentor myself. I must be everywhere all the time. I am as Cathy Jo says, the "face of Partners In Change." I stuck the proverbial foot in the mouth when I said I would also do GED tutoring at RJI. Me teach math???? I swore I would never touch another math book again!! All I can say is, those poor souls...

So, three roles now. It is almost as if there are invisible hands all struggling to pull me in completely separate directions. I am a juggler on a stage in front of a riveted audience. I cannot let one ball drop...all eyes on me...be calm...be patient...breathe...do not let them see how nervous you are...above all things, keep smiling...

Just when I envisioned one of the balls escaping from my fingertips and rolling with a deafening silence across the stage, time suspended, eyes frozen in alarm, something unexpected occurred. Last Tuesday, I went to RJI to learn more about what I would have to do for the GED program there. To be honest, I was dreading this. One more thing I have to do, I thought. I was talking on the phone with the woman I will be filling in for while she is out for knee replacement surgery, and she told me that she had been hearing my name everywhere. Initially, I had no idea what she was talking about. Then I thought, she must be confusing me with some other Katie Baker who has a mentoring program in Cincinnati. It is completely plausible! She told me how the women love my programs at the Justice Center, Pathways and RJI, and cannot wait to see me each week. As if I needed any more proof, two of the women I mentor there came up to me as I was about to leave with great big smiles on their faces. "Katie! When are you going to be here for mentoring?" they asked as they gave me a hug. Perhaps, I am doing something right after all.

With that thought in mind, I left and headed down to the Jail for my Tuesday mentoring session there. I could not help but to smile as well. The drone of construction, the leers of the workers, and my concern for the cracks on the sidewalk that exist for the express purpose of tripping me in my heels, all faded away like a half-remembered song. Nothing mattered in those few moments but the women I am mentoring. Mentoring is a source of strength for me, and I care so much about them. Otherwise, how could I possibly endure hearing such tragic and painful stories three times a week? I cannot do it without feeling a considerable measure of sadness and empathy for them. Inspite of everything, they keep smiling. I tell them that nothing in the world can limit them but themselves. If they want to change and make a better life for themselves, it is absolutely possible. I try to instill this reminder every week, and in turn, believe it for myself:
But far, oh, far as passionate eye can reach, and long, ah, long as rapturous eye can cling, the world is mine: blue hill, still silver lake, broad field, bright flower, and the long white road. A gateless garden, and an open path: My feet to follow, and my heart to hold.

P.S. I am flying home this Wednesday to visit my mom and dad! My sister and her two children are also visiting, and I cannot believe that it has been a year since I saw her last. That is much too long when you love someone. I am excited to take Ashton for ice cream and play dolls with Ashley. Maybe they'll help me to remember that I'm not as old as I feel sometimes.

Your friend always,
Katie

I Hope They Know We Care

2010-04-19T19:43:00.003-04:00

As you can see from the recent posts by Laura and Ben we have been pretty busy here in Cincy!

The Easter egg hunt really was a great success. Besides the bunny costume we had over 1300 eggs, about 150 prizes, and about 100 hot dogs. I really enjoyed seeing the kids have a great time, though I smiled at myself when the hunt that I had spent three weeks preparing for was over in five minutes. A big thanks to mom and dad for coming to see Cincinnati over Easter. They pitched right in and were a big help in getting everything together, plus it would not have been Easter without tons of candy strait from Chocolate World, Thanks Mom!

Now that Easter is over, I've moved on to other projects. Projects which are requiring lots of prep work, like four peace murals we are hoping to have the kids paint in June, a Mother's Day church service, and sending kids to camp this summer - I'm going to be a camp counselor!

These are all great things, but I realized this Sunday as I was trying to get kids to think about working together, and many of them could barely handle this, that it is going to be an interesting summer. I'm going to spend all this time prepping for things, and it will depend on the moods of the kids as to whether or not my plans will be successful. And these kids are moody! Many of them can't help it, and as much as I would like them to be different, I can't blame them.

You wouldn't know how to control yourself either if you had little to no supervision at home, had a mom who cussed at you, as a nine year old were playing around with and shooting a BB gun, were going to be evicted from your home pretty soon, and didn't really know where you were going to live. On top of that, the education you receive at school is questionable, if you are even going to school. How on earth do I try and overcome this stuff for two hours a week, how do I respond?

To be honest, most of the time I don't know what to say when kids are talking about their mom's cussing at them, are so apathetic towards authority that they get up and leave whenever they want because they don't have adult supervision for hours on end a day now that it is warm out and they can roam the streets, at age 1o, 12, & 13. The only thing I can do is be an example. Try for the time I do have with them to talk with them about positive ways of acting, to let them know that somebody does care about them.

After a frustrating Sunday school this past week, it made me smile when I was sitting down to lunch with several church members at a local restaurant, and three of the kids I work with were sitting at the table. I had come to lunch in a separate car and didn't know they were going to be there. They were sitting happily at the table with their drinks, fries, and wings - engaging in conversation with one another and with a church member. Responding to the positive influence of a young adult male, influence that they so desperately need.

While I can't dramatically change their lives, I know they are going to remember the people at Cincinnati COB who took the time to feed them on Sundays, took them on fun trips like ice skating, to the Aquarium, and camp. Experiences that they never would have had they not found their way into the church. While I hope the kids remember a lot of what I teach them, what I hope most is that they remember us as people who just took the time to show that they cared. I'll keep trying to do my best to make sure that for just a little while each week they see love.

Blessings,

Anne

In a cameo role:

2010-04-14T14:25:00.010-04:00

The Easter Bunny!

Bunny was so kind and thoughtful for making it to our Easter Egg hunt that we gave them a peanut butter pie after the whole shebang was finished.

Talk about exciting!
Some in the park that day couldn't fathom Easter Bunny's greatness.

Bunny had to relax after such a big event.
This is pre-peanut butter pie.

Easter Bunny is a well rounded individual with all kinds of interests
beyond eggs made of chocolate-- Rock Ukulele, for example.

Sometimes Easter is overwhelmed by the attention and needs a retreat...
But on that day, E. was really more of a drama queen.

---------------------------------
Thanks for humoring me.

Maybe you remember how excited our house was about Spring a few weeks ago?
Whelp, that's over.
According to Nature's whim, we're now excited about Summer.

My housemates have said that we need to mow the backyard. I must confess, I like it the way it is.

The violets carpet the ground with purple smiles where before were big patches of mud. Lanky guards with white hats stand over them, making sure the tom cats don't tear the purples to pieces. The canopy above allows sunlight to trickle down like encouragement for the color that charms me.
From my window, it's a secret, enchanted place that I only need to share with the robins that hop and scratch for bugs.

Sometimes they stop and look at me.

It's quite nice.

-laura

Picture this

2010-04-02T23:04:00.030-04:00

One of my favorite ways to spend downtime is to putz around with my camera taking pictures. It's a little bulky so it doesn't go with me as many places as I might like but from time to time I get into a picture-taking groove and catch some of the world around me on my memory card in JPG form. I had about two weeks during the past month where I had my camera with me more than usual. Here's some of what I came across and tells some of my story for the past few weeks...

This is my office desk. It's usually a little less cluttered than this. I was waiting for something to print downstairs for a Mentor Training session which took place the following morning. The picture I didn't get was the bird's-eye view of the parking lot turning white from the hail storm that evening.

This is what it looks like from the corner where I usually catch the bus. It's a little more than two blocks from our house. That's downtown at the bottom of the hill.

This is the "before" picture of the Children's Community Garden that Laura is tackling this year. There was a clean-up workday last week and there will be another one next week. I'm looking forward to when we can put up an "after" picture (or even an "in progress" one) to show how great this place is looking/will look.

I had wanted to take some pictures of the spring bulb flowers that were up during the morning hours but between the Mentor Training thingy and church, it didn't happen until Sunday afternoon. I ended up at the Hauck Botanic Garden where the Civic Garden Center is over in Avondale. While wandering through looking for the flowers that had weathered or bloomed since the hail storm on Friday, I found a couple of fun knick-knacks. Having grown up in an area steeped in Civil War history and whatnot, plaques like these show up in lots of places back in Virginia. They usually don't say this, though.

Here's another fun find. Cincinnati is know for its history with pigs, having been at one time the world's largest pork processing hub... or something like that. The big marathon in town is even called the Flying Pig Marathon. This pretty little porker here is called "Topigary". Statues like this can be found all over the city.

There were a fair number of flowers at Hauck, too. Here are some snowdrops that survived the hail from a few days before.

I think this one is a helleborous or something like that. I haven't come across these very often before so if you know better, leave a comment and educate us.

Ah, crocuses getting ready to bloom. I'm glad they exist.

This is another one that I'm not really familiar with. I wish I'd posted a pic of the yellow flower I didn't know so maybe somebody could help me with that one, too. Drat.

We had our mid-year retreat a few weeks ago. I was really looking forward to it and it didn't disappoint me at all. The entire house came back much more rested and relaxed, I think. It also seemed to help ease some of the tension levels in the house, too. I think it probably helped that Daylight Savings gave us an extra hour of sun in the evenings about that time as well as Old Man Winter finally retiring more or less for the year. We took the Megabus from Cincy to Chicago (with a 1:25AM departure time) and then the METRA train to Elgin so we could hang out at the CoB national offices. We waited there for everybody else who would be joining us for the retreat. While we were waiting we managed to find ways to keep ourselves entertained. Doesn't Laura make such a lovely little person BVSer?

Once people began to arrive we all caught up with folks from our orientation units and a few other old friends who happened to be in Elgin (mostly because they work there).

Anne has an uncanny knack for being able to look directly at a camera whenever somebody is taking a picture no matter how far away they are, how much they zoom in, or how sneaky they try to be.

One of the reasons I love mid-year retreat so much is because it offers something for everyone, no matter what they need to relax and recharge. There were things to do for those who wanted to be active...

...and a little less active.

You could start your day off curled up with a good book (awake or asleep)...

...or wind down at the end of the day.

You could spend your free time alone...

...or with a bunch of other BVSers who love playing group games. Yay for retreat. A+ and gold stars to everybody who helped plan it (except for maybe the ucky camp food).

We stayed an extra night before heading back to Cincy. My accommodations were at the BVS house in Elgin where I got to hang out with Jon, Don, Dana, and Steve. We swapped stories and discussed some of the finer points of communal living. Ahh, good company.

Back in Cincy spring weather had finally arrived. Naturally, we decided that we should now have our weekly house meeting on the roof whenever possible. Sure, why not?

Laura decided to get all gussied up one evening. She curled her hair, put on make-up, the whole nine yards. She cleans up real good. Better yet, she can even do it while planning Sunday School with Anne at 9:00 at night. How's that for some stellar multi-tasking?

The magnolias in Eden Park were reportedly (courtesy of Laura) quite beautiful. I wanted to get to see them while they were looking all beautiful and such so I headed out last Sunday evening even though it was sprinkling a little bit. This is down at the Twin Lakes.

This Star Magnolia with a small entourage of daffodils at sunset was even better looking than the picture allows, believe it or not.

I was having fun with the super macro zoom on my camera.

There seem to be a lot of places in Eden Park where somebody planted lots of daffodils on the hillsides. This is one of those places.

I finally got to the Magnolia Garden around dusk. It still looks purdy to me.

This is a shot of downtown from Mt. Adams near the Art Museum.

I was trying to be artsy with this one. This is a bug's-eye view of the bridge on Ida Street. It's a good thing Mt. Adams rarely has much traffic.

There were a lot of other pictures that I would've liked to have gotten during the past month. They didn't make it onto my camera but still exist in my head so I'll try to paint them with words.

The first one is of my old room, as in the one upstairs. Laura moved into it on Monday and I live in the basement now. She has the double bed set diagonally from the corner on the right when you walk into the room. Her desk/table is directly ahead with her persevering computer on it by the window looking out to the backyard. The door that leads to the back porch is wide open, letting in as much sun and air as possible. Laura is sitting in her chair going through seed packets, deciding what will go where in which garden.

The next picture is of Lovefeast this past Thursday. There are two candle-lit tables set with the women at one and the men at the other. The electric piano has been carried downstairs and Saundra is playing hymns and familiar songs while we wash each others' feet. There are about twenty of us assembled. Some of us know all the words; some of us barely know any. One or two just listen. As far as gender and age go, this is probably the least lopsided Lovefeast I've ever attended.

The last picture is from tonight. Anne's parents are in town visiting and we're all over at Pastor Ben's for supper. The kids and the neighbor's kids are all running around the yard with the dog. Kristen has cooked what is quite possibly Katie's favorite meal ever: grilled mango salmon, asparagus, salad, and ice cream with strawberries and chocolate for dessert. There's also grilled chicken but I don't think Katie has noticed. Those of us not running amuck are gathered at the patio furniture, half of which was still in a box a few hours earlier. Anne seems very happy that her parents are here and they're enjoying themselves outside in the warm evening air. Our entire house is together and genuinely happy. The hours feel like they have stretched well beyond their allotted sixty minutes but nobody's trying to reign them in. I wish you could have seen it, felt it, experienced it.

I wonder who will be in these pictures next year...

Standing on the Threshold

2010-03-22T11:04:00.011-04:00

Walking to work this morning with the rain gently falling around me, and daffodils in full bloom, I realized just how grateful I am that Spring is finally here. It has been a long, hard winter. Maybe it is just me, but each season feels vastly different. Each season is like a varying collage of sights, sounds, smells and memories of people, places and things that move incessantly inside of me. They ebb and flow like the tides of the ocean.

Spring in my mind smells like fresh rain and flowers. I can hear birds chirping in the trees each morning as they work to prepare their nests for new life. I can see hills and meadows for as far as the eye can see-- they beckon to me to lie down in the long grass and be at peace. I am flooded with memories of going to the Gettysburg battlefield at the beginning of Spring to fly kites. My mom and dad went yesterday, and it was the first time in all these years that they went by themselves to do this. There really is no place like Gettysburg in the springtime--unforgettable. It has always been a time when my dad and I could sit on our porch swing and talk about anything and everything. My dad's life has always been a mystery to me, and it probably always will be. Every now and then, he will share something new, and in this way, I am able to catch a glimpse of what his life must have been like. I am learning more about him each new day, or maybe I am knowing him for the first time. I have always loved adventure, and exploring with my brother was a favorite pastime. Every Spring we would build forts in the woods and search for new trails and old country roads. My best friend Becca and I still do this. We have a tradition of going to Sheetz to get coffee and then walking for hours around our town or on the surrounding trails and back roads. Spring reminds me of all of these things, and how good my life has been so far. Living in a small town is an opportunity to develop a very active imagination, and I think that is what I have done. I do not believe my life has ever been boring. Becca and I...we made things happen.

Although Fall will always be my favorite season, I can appreciate why Spring is so many peoples' favorite time of year. It is a beginning and ending of sorts. It is an end to the burdens that winter can bring, while simultaneously being a time of rejuvenation and revitalization. We can finally walk outside without our heavy coats and scarves, and smile as the sun warms our faces and a cool breeze moves through our fingers. I have been easily frustrated with many things lately, and Spring helps me to remember that life can be good, that people can be good.

There is a feeling inside of me that once again I am standing on the threshold of something. I am coming to the end of one road and am now scanning the horizon for a new path. I will meet this change without trepidation, and the old fears of the unknown are not present in my heart. Everyone in the house is not quite certain what they want to do after this year of volunteer work is complete. I am not sure myself, but I am content with the realization that everything will fall into place for me and for everyone in the house. I want to go back to DC to work for a year, study for my LSATS and apply for law school. Everyone is so certain that I'll be able to do this. I wish I could be as assured. However, I do believe that our paths become clearer to us each and everyday.

Last week was spent at our midyear retreat for BVS. It was wonderful to see everyone again, and in all probability, for the last time. After being there for only two days, I hopped a plane to Orlando, Florida for a conference (GAINS Conference). It is a conference that focuses on a vast array of criminal justice issues like prison reform, diversion programs, mental health and veterans' issues, etc... We stayed at Disney's Coronado Springs Resort and we made the most of our time there. After the all day sessions, Cathy Jo and I would go to places around Disney like Hollywood Studios, the Boardwalk, and Downtown Disney. We spent Saturday at one of the resort pools trying to get some semblance of a tan. I should have used more sunblock though...we both look like lobsters now lol :D I am blessed to be working with such a wonderful person as Cathy Jo. She has quickly become a very good friend to me. Now that we are back, we need to start implementing many of the plans we have laid out for our mentoring program. I'll be trying to start small-group mentoring at Rewards Jail Intervention--a court-ordered diversion program for incarcerated men and women. Then I'll be going to three places every week. Wish me luck!

I can't wait for summer to come! Spring gets me so excited about being able to be outdoors more often. Everyone in the house loves different things and as the weather improves, I can envision Ben going on more runs and visiting farmer's markets in search of fresh produce. Laura will be busy preparing and tending to both the small garden at the church and the big community garden. She has a daunting task ahead of her, but she is entirely capable of seeing it through. Besides helping Laura with the garden, I can see Anne sitting on our sunny porch more to relax and do work, as well as walking down to Eden Park and Mirror Lake. As for me, I will be using my free time to do things with my mentees once they are finished with their programs or released from jail. I will be in search of old things...I will visit the museums around the city and hopefully try to do something with the historical society. History has always been a large part of my life that I can rarely share with people. I have definitely felt a void these past few months, and it's about time I kept up with it once more.

We will never be at this time and place in our lives again. So here's to making it count...

A Friend Always,
Katie

The Simple Things

2010-03-08T19:09:00.003-05:00

Spring has sprung here in Cincinnati and the warm, beautiful sun has got me thinking about enjoying the simple things in life.So here are a few things I've enjoyed lately, maybe these will inspire you to enjoy the simple things wherever you are.

In our house, we really really enjoy sweets. Sweets in any variety from the chocolate sent from Hershey to the pies that Laura makes. The other night, Katie, Ben, and I decided to satisfy our craving with cupcakes and frosting. As we giddily stirred the batter and watched the cupcakes bake in the oven, I realized just how little it takes to please me. These cupcakes were not a beautiful, gourmet feast, just simple cupcakes. One or two fell apart as we got them out of the pan, that didn't matter. What mattered was that all three of us enjoyed making them, and we satisfied our need for sugar.

On Saturday, it was warm, the sun was shinning brightly, and there was not a cloud in the sky. One of the first times this has happened in a long long time. Katie and I decided to take advantage of the weather and walk to the neighborhood right next to us, Mt. Adams. This neighborhood has a great vibe and a wonderful coffee shop. All it took to make the day a great one was some sunshine, coffee, and conversation. Three simple things that cost very little, but made me relaxed. It helped that the coffee shop had a half door open to the sun, and dogs that peered in while their owners were getting drinks and food!

Over the last few days, I have not even left the front porch to find relaxation. All I have had to do is climb up on the ledge of the porch with a good book or my computer. There are of course the sounds of the city all around me, but this makes me feel like the world is alive again. Gosh I love spring!

All of these things that I've done lately are simple. None of them cost much money, if any at all, but they have made me happy. Think about the simple things that you have enjoyed in the past, give them a try, I bet you'll find yourself smiling!

Happy Spring,

Anne

Did you know...

2010-02-28T20:22:00.004-05:00

that Spring is coming?

Last week I heard Robins and yesterday I saw finches. They're scouring the patches of grass, searching for bits of seed or bugs. Grandma sent money for a bird feeder-- I'm sure they would appreciate the meal and show off their flashy yellow coats for me in a few weeks if I set one outside.
It's as if a collective will has ripped back the covers off winter. She lies there, cold air still seeping over the edge of the bed, her comfortable sleep starting to seep through the mattress and boxspring. You can't go near her without soaking your shoes through.
Mom said, "It's like living in a mud puddle!"
Better than living in a block of ice, right Mom?

I grow increasingly happy with the end of this winter. I can find shivering charming, but only for a week or so. In the country we hibernate for some of the winter('cept for Dad), but it's a lost cause here. The city is all about moving, doing, deadlines, advancing, and freaking out when it snows more than three inches. The hibernation period makes winter bearable. The slowing of pace, and release from obligations, either makes winter move more quickly or seem more meaningful.

I grew up living season to season. I can measure my life in four o'clocks and zinnias; hot, dusty winds; frosted and rattling window panes; the first unnoticed red ferns that push through the moss, curled tightly to the still cold mornings. Each change is an opportunity, but spring is my favorite.
Unmeasured potential, always surprising but reassuring in her consistency. Dependable.
Spring brings clarity and new ideas. She rips the bandage off the unhealed cut from last fall and gives it air and light.

With all the help that Spring will be throwing my way...
I can't possibly fail, right?

While I can hardly contain my excitement over this spring, I am very hesitant for her actual arrival. There's too much to do before she gets here, and some of it seems beyond my reach. My farmer's spring is here by late March. I should have done so many things a month ago. Will it be possible to plant on time? Will this lot have the soil structure to support a garden? Is it too rootbound by the trees that run through it? Is there an evil creature lurking underneath the rotting matresses in the back? Will people want to help? Will people want to garden? Will it be safe?

Somehow, it always works out at home.
I hope it does here, too.

Watch for the finches.

-Laura

Hither and yon

2010-02-23T19:10:00.002-05:00

We have a new case manager at work. This means that I am no longer the newest member of the staff. Part of her training and orientation involves shadowing other people at work to see what they do and get a better understanding of how things operate. At some point in the next week or two she’ll be shadowing me to see how intakes are done for new families at the shelter. It seems weird to think that I’ve now been here long enough to be the intake guru, thus making me knowledgeable enough to have somebody gleaning information from my routine activities. It’s also the end of February already. I’m not sure what happened to the beginning of the month, though I’m fairly certain that snow was involved.

Speaking of snow, it’s almost gone. This is generally a good thing. As a regular pedestrian I will be glad to not need to worry about getting sprayed by slush when vehicles zip by while I’m ten feet away on the snowy, slushy sidewalk. I am just about done with having cold, wet toes, thank you very much. Apparently this is more snow that what is normal for Cincinnati. When I was a BVSer in Colorado they had a colder and snowier winter, too. I’m half tempted to do another year of BVS in Central America to see if the snow follows me there, too.

We have our mid-year retreat coming up soon. I am looking forward to this a whole bunch. I won’t know most of the volunteers attending, but I will know a few. There are a handful of Unit #277 folks that are stateside and still going strong. Mostly it’ll be a nice change of pace in a non-snow-induced sort of way. I hope I don’t end up in a room full of snorers.

We got to go to Jungle Jim's (www.junglejims.com)this past Saturday. Bethinary Bekah picked us up and ferried us there and back. It was quite the experience. It's huge and has produce and products from hither and yon for some decent prices. I think we all agreed it was a total sensory overload. I think Laura enjoyed it the most, especially since she was ready for another two hours of shopping after we checked out. Thanks to Bethinary and Bekah for treating us to such a cool experience!

Yup, that's about it for now.

CH...CH...CH...CHANGES

2010-02-17T10:27:00.007-05:00

"Trippers and askers surround me,People I meet, the effect upon me of my early life or the ward and city I live in, or the nation,The latest dates, discoveries, inventions, societies, authors old and new,My dinner, dress, associates, looks, compliments, dues,The real or fancied indifference of some man or woman I love,The sickness of one of my folks or of myself, or ill-doing or loss or lack of money, or depressions or exaltations,Battles, the horrors of fratricidal war, the fever of doubtful news, the fitful events;These come to me days and nights and go from me again,But they are not the Me myself.Apart from the pulling and hauling stands what I am,Stands amused, complacent, compassionating, idle, unitary,Looks down, is erect, or bends an arm on an impalpable certain rest,Looking with side-curved head curious what will come next,Both in and out of the game and watching and wondering at it.Backward I see in my own days where I sweated through fog with linguists and contenders,I have no mockings or arguments, I witness and wait." --From Song of Myself by Walt Whitman

I was not sure what I was going to share with you this time around. I wondered if I had anything worthwhile to say. We know it is true that nothing ever stays the same. There have been many changes at our house this past month, and there will be more to come. I do think that change can be a very good thing, yet still I shrink from it. I have always been extremely constant about certain aspects of my life, and at times, I fear I do not have the strength to do something different. What cowardly thinking that is! Through all of my hardships and when change was inevitable, I have always been able to summon the courage to continue. I would do well to remember that in the months to come.

There are other necessary changes that I believe need to come, and this is a self-imposed change. We have the choice what we take inside of ourselves, whether it be positive or negative. Too often in my own life have I allowed someone's cruel or thoughtless words to negatively impact my life. I have cried and hurt too much in the past over this to allow it to continue into the future. I want to believe as Walt Whitman does that it is all external, and we are ultimately as happy as we make up our minds to be. Each day I desire to be consciously reminded of this. I know it will not be easy.

To whoever is reading this, please try to be mindful of the things you say and do. You may not realize just how much you are hurting someone else. I am not without faults. I have been this way too. When my dad was first diagnosed with cancer and over the next year, many of my thoughts took a pessimistic turn. This always has a spill-over effect, but at the time, I could not see how much I was hurting my friends with my negativity. One of my best friends had to finally tell me. I was angry with her, but she was right. It was humbling to admit that I was wrong, but since then, I made the endeavor to be a different and better person. It is an everyday struggle, and sometimes there are setbacks. At least now, I am more aware of it.

That was alot of rambling on my part, but in short, I guess I just wanted to say that we should not allow others to steal the happiness from our days. Nor should we do the same to others. Mindfulness...now that is the key.

P.S. My eye has improved tremendously since I last wrote to you. Most times I do not even notice the differences. I still have to take eye drops and go to appointments, but hopefully that will end soon. Thank you again for your prayers and concerns. It has meant a great deal to me.

Take care, and I will be talking with you again soon.

A Friend Always,
Katie

City Life

2010-02-08T18:40:00.003-05:00

For me, it has been an interesting last month or so here in Cincinnati. While I still find myself being content with the city and my work, I also find myself having interesting thoughts about my experiences here. These observations - some reflections on the state of urban life, some funny, and some sad - all reflect how I'm adapting to my world. I think I notice these things because I spent most of my time growing up in the land of farms and main streets lined with Hershey Kiss lights.

So here it goes...my world lately.

I go to "Fancy Kroger" or a pharmacy in Hyde Park to buy shampoo or make up because the stuff for white people in the local CVS has been sitting on the self for far too long.
I bundle up in layers - sweater, coat, hat, gloves, and throw the umbrella in my bag when I go out because I'm always walking several blocks to my destination.
Grocery shopping is not a simple task. I always feel like I'm setting out on a journey, braving the elements with my backpack weighed down with food. (Remember, I'm only 5'2".)
It doesn't strike me as odd anymore to see the armed police officers in the local grocery store.
As I walk only a few feet from them, I'm not surprised as I watch police frisk a man in front of the CVS.
Riding the bus has become normal. However, I still find myself cringing on a crowded bus when a scruffy man brushes up against me as he is getting off the bus. I'm thinking bed bugs and germs.
I haven't quite mastered my reaction to less than stellar looking men as I walk by them on the street. I used to think it was bad that I didn't want to look some people in the eye, but as I get call-outs when I walk by bus stops or busy corners, I remember why.
I chuckle to myself as I realize for the first time that I've been walking by a store front for weeks and have not noticed the display of caskets and urns. I guess I just wasn't expecting a sales store on Main street downtown.
I'm amazed at how something as simple as lunch and ice skating can bring such joy to kids, things I could have done over and over again as a child, but activities that some kids rarely get to do. I love that activities like this can bring all kinds of kids together, no matter their different backgrounds, they all get to just be kids together.
I realize how transient the lives of the kids I work with can be. Children can come to church Sunday after Sunday and show up during the week for homework help and snack, then be gone, leaving us with only a vague idea of where they are. Yet just when I think I'm never going to see them again, they show up smiling. Its good to know I'm making a small impact , one kid at a time.

Just a small sampling of what I've been thinking lately. These very urban experiences have, of course, been punctuated with wonderful lunches and parties with church friends and being introduced to local products like Graeter's ice cream. I'm off to taste some of their black raspberry chip now!!

Blessings,

Anne

That should go in the blog.

2010-01-24T20:56:00.013-05:00

Three days ago I started a post.
Three hours of over-thinking everything resulted in a rambling, political diatribe about Haiti, history, responsibility, altruism (?) and Blues Traveler.
(yep. John Popper.)

Needless to say, I scrapped it.
This is something very different.
If you want to hear about all that other stuff, you'll have to call me.

--------------------

Every once in a while we will collectively say, "That should go in the blog." After some serious prodding and a triple dip of "bloggable" moments in only a few hours, I have found the opportune moment to make up for this being three weeks late!

* After a bit of consultation with Anne, Ben and Katie, we decided that all of these things are appropriateate to share in this electronic format, if done so tactfully. We think they are significant examples of how we live day to day, and the unique relationships that are formed in this kind of community.

Titter
No, not twitter.
This is one of those lost jewels of the English language that is destined for rebirth. Katie and Anne and I were introduced to tittering last weekend and filled in Ben tonight at dinner. Ironically, the story ended in raucous, ill-restrained laughter.
Kind of like this:

Breastfeeding
A little caveat-- No one living in our house has actually breastfed a child. And we are all at a loss as to how this topic came up. It is controversial. I know lots of women who are passionate about their own experience. Take this with a grain of salt.

Three non-conclusive and poorly analyzed thoughts:

We don't understand this "in public" controversy. Anne thinks blankets are considerate, and on my nice days I'm inclined to agree. On my defiant days, I say moms should be able to walk around topless if they think it's easier. If there's something more natural than feeding an infant, let us know.

I will restrain myself from defining who does or doesn't take an interest in the feeding of infants but we all found it rather interesting that only the male member of our community regularly receives electronic tips on and encouragement for breastfeeding. We'll chalk that one up to poor e-newsletter management, Ben.

So, it's pregnancy that makes them swell up, breastfeeding that maintains that, and the ending of breastfeeding that turns them into used tea bags or stewed prunes. We understand the desire to never hit that last stage. Really. But while it may be more intellectually stimulating than the first 8 years, you can be sure it's time to stop when your child can carry on an engaging conversation.

Naked Chores
During the natural course of modern life there comes a time when one feels that the Cro Magnon might have had it right.
Bacon only.
Shoes are for wimps.
Clothes? ...Protection from the cold?
That's what furnaces are for!
But maybe I should still vacuum so my housemates don't revolt...

And so, on that special day when everyone is out of the house but you, throw caution and your tube socks to the wind!

Naked chores!

This was decided at our weekly house meeting.
It's in the records.

---------------------------------
Hope it was worth the wait!

-Laura

2009-12-29T00:06:00.003-05:00

Anne, Laura, and I have returned back to Cincinnati after spending some time back home with family and friends. Katie doesn't return until after the new year so it'll be just the three of us until then.

It's good to be back in Walnut Hills and not living out of a travel bag. Don't get me wrong - I enjoyed the time. However, there's something to be said for knowing exactly where your toothbrush is and not needing to worry about liquids in containers being three ounces or smaller. For me, Cincinnati is where I feel settled right now. This is different than saying that it feels like home, because it's still not quite there yet. By the time I left my previous BVS assignment I could honestly say that I felt at home with the people and area there. Cincy is still a work-in-progress.

"Home" has become an interesting, evolving idea for me. I still refer to my hometown, Nokesville, VA, as being my home. In reality, I don't recognize a fair number of people around town anymore and I generally need a docent if I'm gonna venture more than a couple miles from the Bear household due to added, rerouted, or renamed roads. The new shopping centers and subdivisions don't help a whole bunch, either. The family and friends that I still know there allow it to still be a place to where I can return. More and more it's the people, not the place, that make Nokesville home.

There are plenty of ways to describe "home". Most of them would have Nokesville qualify for that title. What I'm missing right now is a place that I can consider my home based on these terms:

- I don't feel like an outsider at local events.
- If I plant something in the yard I'll be around long enough to see it through an entire growing season and, if it's a perennial, watch it return next year.
- The neighbors around me aren't complete strangers, even if we don't talk all that much.

This isn't all-inclusive, but it's a general idea of what I have in mind. I know it's a bit of a double standard with my current vagabond tendancies but that's what I'd kinda like to find.

Living here in Cincy has often been a struggle when considering these criteria in that we know that our time with BVS is one year and then we'll likely be moving on to... whatever. It's difficult to try to feel that this is the place I can call home when I know that by the time December rolls around next year I'll likely be living somewhere that is not here*. It seems intriguingly ironic that by choosing to come here to work at a shelter I have, once again, become homeless in a way. I know it sounds extreme and I'm fully aware that I'm nowhere near being homeless in the traditional sense of the word - it's simply a thought.

I hope y'all enjoy ringing in the new year wherever you may be.
Ben Bear

*Editor's note: There is no gameplan as to where this "somewhere" might be. Suggestions welcome.

It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas!

2009-12-12T10:29:00.008-05:00

Christmas preparations are in full swing here at the BVS house. Last weekend we ventured to Lebanon, Ohio with some friends and cut down a Christmas tree. Here are some photos of the very cold, but fun expedition to find the perfect tree for our house.

The cutting is about to begin!!

Anne, Katie, Laura, and Ben with our Christmas tree

Happy Chirstmas decorating,

Anne

...and here's the tree going up...

...success!

Peace and blessings,

Ben

Waiting for an Absolution

2009-12-08T11:30:00.006-05:00

"And indeed there will be time
For the yellow smoke that slides along the street,
Rubbing its back upon the window-panes;
There will be time, there will be time
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;
There will be time to murder and create,
And time for all the works and days of hands
That lift and drop a question on your plate;
Time for you and time for me,
And time yet for a hundred indecisions,
And for a hundred visions and revisions,
Before the taking of a toast and tea........

And indeed there will be time
To wonder, “Do I dare?” and, “Do I dare?”
Time to turn back and descend the stair,.......
Do I dare
Disturb the universe?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse."

--Excerpts from The Love Song of Alfred J. Prufrock by T.S. Eliot

"It is life in slow motion, it's the heart in reverse, it's a hope-and-a-half: too much and too little at once. It's a train that suddenly stops with no station around, and we can hear the cricket, and, leaning out the carriage door, we vainly contemplate a wind we feel that stirs the blooming meadows, the meadows made imaginary by this stop."

--The Wait by Rainer Maria Rilke

Dear friends,

It is with one good eye and a heavy heart that I sit to write this long-overdue blog entry. I have good reason for my tardiness. For the past two weeks I have had a severe eye infection that I still do not know how to pronounce properly. I feel as though I am living in a world apart from everyone else right now. A world of plastered smiles, half-remembered conversations, daily visits to a cornea specialist, four different drops to be administered every one hour/now every two hours as well as at night, an impenetrable haze, and a pain that feels like every nerve in my eye is on fire. I have been plagued by incessant doubts, worries, and the voice of my doctor who said there was a good chance that there might be some vision loss...it repeated so often in my mind at first that it was almost like a broken record.

At the eye institute that I have been going to, I see all of these people who are also waiting for relief and an end to their pain. Many have been suffering much longer than two weeks. My heart cries out for the glaucoma patients that I have to walk by everyday. I cannot fathom the immensity of such an illness as cancer. I am brought back with the realization that I am very much alive and well. It is these people who are truly waiting.

How easy it is to be enveloped by our own pain and sufferings. Some of us do not know how to come back from that world. I had time to sit in that place, waiting for an absolution that is slow to come. It has reinforced my patience and given new meaning yet again to what it means to be vulnerable. What also brings me back is hope. I cannot claim what has not happened yet, and each new day brings more improvement.

Thank you Dan for helping me get the prescriptions that I needed to get better again.
Thank you Ben and Kristen for helping me with my eye drops that first night when they had to be put in every hour.
Thank you Bob and the Summers for taking me to my appointments everyday.
Thank you Laura, Anne, and Ben for simply being there for me. I apologize if I have been less than kind to you. You have my gratitude.
Thank you to everyone who has prayed for me. It has meant so much to me.

A friend of mine has a family member who has terminal cancer. I am reminded of my father who has had AML Leukemia (currently in remission), and my mother's brother who died of lung cancer in less than five months. People come and go from our lives, and in these moments of revelation, we see how fleeting life truly is. Yet still we squander it. I have not been able to do much else recently but sit for hours and think. I come back again and again to the idea that so much of our lives are spent waiting. We wait for the end, the beginning, or the perfect opportunity to say and do all of the things we dream of saying and doing. We foolishly believe that behind every door is another chance to do right. When we finally believe that we have the time, we rush to the door only to find a hollow space of "what ifs" and "if onlys."

To write well, we should write about what we know. This is what I know. Life/time do not patiently wait for us. There is never any more beginning or ending than right now, nor a more perfect opportunity than the present to take that first step towards something or someone. Please do not wait to tell the people in your life that you love them. It is difficult to express emotions that seem to be wholly unsayable, but try. We cannot know what tomorrow holds.
................................................................................................
On a considerably lighter note, Laura, Anne, Ben, and I went with a couple from the church to get a Christmas tree on Saturday! My eye felt well enough that I could go with them. A blessing in itself. It was like the arctic outside though, and I almost got frostbitten toes. The tree farm provided us with plenty of hot chocolate, a wagon ride, and a picture with our new tree. Then we went back to the family's house to eat chili and german cookies. Other people from the church arrived, and we had a great time just being with each other.

Later that evening, we were provided with plenty of borrowed winter trappings to brave the winter weather, and we went into the town looking like eskimos to watch the horse-drawn sleigh/carriage/wagon parade. Thousands of people were converging on the town as well. There were about 145 different carriages, all decked out with lights, bells, bows, etc. It was a sight to see. We'll have pictures for you soon.

Sorry for the lengthy blog, but it has been so long since I wrote to you and I had much on my mind.
I do hope you are all doing well.

A friend always,

Katie

Unrelated ramblings

2009-11-24T00:17:00.007-05:00

I had never lived in a city before coming to Cincinnati. The closest I came was my previous BVS site in the booming metropolis of Alamosa, CO. (pop: 8500). Thinking back, I can recall being excited because they had city blocks. Yup, that's right. City blocks. I associate much more with being a country bumpkin than a city kid, no contest. So why is it that I haven't gone stir-crazy living in a city of over a quarter million people? Seriously, I've only left the city three times since I got here - 1. The afternoon church service at the Brethren home in Greenville; 2. Driving out to a fellow church member's house for Man Night (it was cooler than you'd think); and 3. Going to the Outdoor Ministries Association conference at Woodland Altars (thanks, Swatara!). That's not a whole lot of time away from the asphalt and constant background noise of living in the city... yet somehow it's working for me. I sure didn't expect this aspect of living here to be such an easy transition. Did I miss part of it or has it just not hit home yet that I actually live here?

Katie and I recently (re?)discovered a love of hot chocolate. If you've never tried adding milk and a few drops of some flavoring extract - we've used vanilla so far - then you are totally missing out on some chilly weather wonderfulness. It's nice to have housemates who geek out over the same stuff I do sometimes.

Anne, Laura, and I went down the street to Mirror Lake on Saturday for the spectacle known as "Balluminaria". Around dusk there are a dozen hot air balloons that inflate without taking off and line up along one side of the "lake" (it's actually a cement pond thingy, but I suppose "Mirror Lake" sounds way nicer than "Mirror Cement Pond Thingy"). The reflection is quite spectacular and makes for some great photographing opportunities. While we were freezing our hindparts off listening to microphoned singers and waiting for the balloons to inflate I actually ran into somebody I knew. Ken, a University of Cincinnati student who volunteers at my job, was there with a friend. For a moment I had a faint feeling of small-town living again where you see people you know wherever you go. Then he walked off to a different vantage point and I didn't see him the rest of the evening, swallowed into the mass of the thousands of other spectators.

We've had a warmer than usual November from what I understand. I didn't need my jacket to walk to church on Sunday. If it weren't for Daylight Savings Time then I would be out running way more than what I am now. Regardless of how prepared I was for it, I decided to go on a long run on Sunday afternoon since I hadn't been on one in a while. One of my favorite things to do when running is to head in a direction I'm sorta familiar with but don't know exactly. I headed down Victory Parkway and turned onto Madison. When I got to the intersection where I usually turn around or take a right to make a loop I kept going straight instead. At some point Madison curved and I didn't; I ended up in Norwood. I don't think I'd ever been to Norwood before. The general rule of thumb that I follow when I have no idea where I am is that you turn the same direction at major-ish intersections until you recognize an area or a road name. Left. Left. Another left. Ta-da! Welcome to Montgomery Road. I honestly couldn't remember exactly what it connected into, but I knew that if I took a left onto it then I should make it back to some other road that I recognize a little better. Sure enough, Montgomery ran into Gilbert which passes a few blocks from our house and took me back without any problems. I've done this a few times in the last six weeks and it's an adventure every time. This one was a 9+ mile adventure. That totally justifies the piece of Laura's chocolate mousse pie that I had later that evening, right? Yeah, I thought so, too.

This past week was my turn to lead our house devotions. Inspired by the latest issue of Messenger I came up with the following five questions:

1. What makes the CoB (Church of the Brethren) important to you?

2. Why do you stay in the CoB?

3. What frustrates you about the CoB?

4. How do you think your life would be different if you weren't a member of the CoB?

5. What ministry would you like to see the CoB enthusiastically pursue?
We spent some time writing down our thoughts before we began conversing. I wish I could have had some sort of voice recorder in there to catch everything we talked about. There was a lot on our minds to discuss and it was good to hear ideas, reasonings, and concerns about topics that often end up running through my head. I wonder what would happen if more CoB young adults - or any age - sat down informally and let loose with their unrestricted thoughts on some of those topics. Oh, the possibilities...

Thanksgiving is upon us and we're all heading separate directions for the holiday. Laura is somehow transporting herself up to northern Indiana to chow down with one Miss Sarah Hall while Katie and Anne will be flying home to spend time with their families. I'm getting picked up by my good friend, Heidi Bailey, whom I haven't seen in over four years. She lives up in the Dayton area and we'll be partaking in the appreciative consumption of vittles with her family. Yee-haw for good friends. Wherever you are, I hope you have a warm Thanksgiving in good company.

I Am Not Their Mother, But....

2009-11-12T22:29:00.003-05:00

Now that we have been in Cincinnati over a month, Laura and I have started to really get to know the children with whom we work. The funny thing I wasn’t quite expecting, but love none the less, is how much I really care about these kids. My connection to them is kind of hard to explain, so I thought I would continue the trend from last week and give a list of examples of just how I feel like a mother, or at least a big sister, to these kids.

- I am genuinely happy for Cameron when he exclaims happily that he gets to light the candles on the altar at the beginning of the church service on Sunday. I watch intently and with a big smile on my face as he carefully lights each one.

- My heart just melts when I hear the kids shouting “Miss Anne, Miss Anne!”

- I worry about Andrew when he misses a Sunday and the Halloween celebration. Though my worry is relieved when he walks through the door for breakfast the next Sunday morning.

- I don’t know quite how to react when Jermaine tells me he was suspended from school for a few days for getting into a fight. I settle on a little admonishment about how that isn’t very good, and that he can’t get suspended again because he has already met his self imposed quota of one suspension a year. Big sisterly enough, but not quite motherly, I’ll leave that to his real mom.

- I happily praise the toddler girls as they come down the big slides at the park with smiles on their faces and land chest deep in leaf piles.

- On a Wednesday afternoon at my dining room table, I try really hard to think back to 4th, 5th, and 6th grade and how I learned division and multiplication because there is homework to be completed before we can eat the cookies Laura has baking in the kitchen.

- I fall into bed on a Sunday evening, tired and hoping that I’ve had a positive impact on the kids today. However, I realize that as much as I love these kids, I have just satisfied any momentary desire I might have for children of my own, and I am quite happy for the silence in the house as I drift off to sleep.

Note: The names of the children have been changed because I wouldn’t be motherly unless I thought about protecting their identity :)

Blessings,

Anne

Happenings

2009-11-12T22:14:00.003-05:00

This past weekend was a warm and beautiful one. We spent some time eating brunch on the back porch and posing for a group photo, hope you enjoy the photos!

Only awake after 1o:30!

Brunch Biscuits

Don't we look like professional models?

The Ohio River and Kentucky in the background.

Goodness.

2009-11-07T20:51:00.007-05:00

Hello All.

Cincinnati has graciously welcomed in some warm weather and sunshine this week, and it has done everyone here loads of good. I hope your step is as springy as mine.

I must make clear from the very beginning, blogging isn't one of my favorite pastimes. Not that I want to keep you in the dark, but it takes an awful long time for me to feel ready to post my thoughts for all the world to see.
However, my housemates have been very adamant about their desire for this to be a communal effort, and I must concede. Consequently, when it's my turn to share in digitized format you'll see more pictures than words and read more recipes than anecdotes. There might be a link once in a while to shake things up. Are you up for it?
Me neither...

Anne and I find ourselves making a lot of lists these days.
Grocery lists, Sunday lists, errand lists, email lists...
Most recently was a two pager on what was to be done before our "Halloween Block Party". The party was something of a trial-by-fire/indoctrination that gave the answer, "Don't worry. You were given the right placement." to my question, "What's going on?!?"
The list included things like Eat lunch, Cut out big poster board pumpkin, and Buy plane ticket.
Full week.

Luckily, I like lists.
And I'm going to make one for you!
It's called:

This is Good.

No. 1- There's a backyard.
What?
There's a backyard. And you know what else?
What?!
We might be able to plant a garden in the spring.
(speechlessness.)

No. 2- The Conservatory is free.
As it should be.

No. 3- This is the view from the roof,
conveniently flat and easy to
laze upon on your day off.

No. 4- My housemates cook things like mango salsa.
On a stipend!

No. 5- My housemates let me cook things like
buttermilk pie.
Even on a stipend.

No. 6- Fall.
Everyone can agree on this?

No. 7- My job includes planning
educational activities.
Like this.

No. 8- These kids.

When I think about good things here,
these faces flash through my mind. You could
take everything else on this list-- even the pie--
and because of these kids,
Cincinnati would still be a Good place for me to be.

Blessings,

Laura

The world is so much with us

2009-10-29T10:27:00.008-04:00

Hello Everyone,

Okay so I've never blogged before...this is an entirely new experience for me. As you may know by now Anne and Laura are working with the Church of the Brethren here in Cincinnati. They are kept very busy with different projects/planning, etc...They have alot of great ideas about what they hope to accomplish by year's end. I'll let them tell you more about it. Ben is our lone male in the house, but as he has been in BVS before and lived with four other girls (yikes!), he has been able to adjust pretty well as far as I can tell. In last week's blog, Ben shared a little about his experiences at his new job (Interfaith Hospitality Network). It's interesting, don't you think??

Laura, Anne, and Ben truly care about the people they are working for...it shows everytime I talk to them about what they are doing. I'm blessed to be able to share this new experience with them.

As for me, I am working at the Talbert House as the new coordinator of the mentor program for women. It is an inter-agency collaborative comprised of about eight other agencies/programs in Cincinnati i.e. Pathways Halfway House, Rewards Jail Intervention, Alcoholism Council, First Step Home (residential, outpatient, transitional housing for women with substance abuse and their children), Sheriff's Department, etc... They realized that as many of these women were in these programs either concurrently/consecutively, they needed to come together and form a program that would allow for someone (mentor) to help guide these women through the complicated criminal justice system. Incarceration is a revolving door for many people, but it is hoped that this new mentor program will help in reducing Hamilton County's high recidivism rates. It is now my job to get this program up and running.

These past two weeks have been a whirlwind for me. So many new places and new faces. I've been going around to the other agencies we are working with in order to get a feel for what they are doing. So far, I have been over to Pathways, RJI, and the Hamilton County Jail/Pretrial Services. I don't think I will ever forget those experiences. I sat in on some group sessions at RJI (Residential facility for incarcerated women), and the women there welcomed me as though I had known them forever instead of just one hour. I looked around at all of them and it became very personal--as Ben said. I could have been them. A few missed steps and you are in a place in your life that you never thought you would be....

I also had a very eye-opening experience when I was given a top to bottom tour of the Hamilton County Jail. Apparently, due to its size and the amount of prisoners, it is ranked in the top 25 of this country's biggest jails. The officers that showed me around didn't leave anything out. I sat in on two meetings with a narcotics officer and two jail informants. I was taken up to the maximum security part of the jail. There I saw sex offenders, murderers, men on suicide watch, and even a serial killer awaiting trial for the horrible murders he commmited against young women. I went with the officer right up to his cell...he looked right at me, or should I say through me. I didn't exist at all to him. Believe me, something like that stays with you.

On a more positive note, we are all well-fed here at the manor. Laura is a master chef extraordinaire. We look to her for advise and guidance in the kitchen. Ben is probably one of the most easy-going/laid-back people you will ever meet...and he loves to do the dishes. That's a big plus!!! Anne is extremely organized, and can always get things done when they need to be.

And get this!! We don't have to leave our home to find entertainment. Our neighbors across the street are quite the exhibitionists! They have a huge window into their dining room and they seem reluctant to want to have their blinds down. Hmmm....interesting. It's like a dinner theatre (They are the actors and we are the enraptured audience). We'll be eating dinner at our table and through our glass door we can see right into their dining room. Please don't think we are nosy neighbors...it honestly can't be helped!! I think they like the attention. They have to know we are watching right? We aren't discrete about it...at all.

Thanks for reading. We'll be keeping you informed about our other happenings....stay tuned.

Your friend,

Katie

House on COB Newsline

2009-10-23T22:51:00.001-04:00

Our house here in Walnut Hills was featured on the Church of the Brethren Newsline for Oct. 21st. We are item #3, check it out!

Getting our feet wet

2009-10-21T21:13:00.010-04:00

Hola. I thought I'd start out by introducing myself since not all of y'all know me. I'm Ben Bear, the rogue male here in the Cincinnati volunteer house. Before moving out here to Cincy I was living in Bethel, Pennsylvania, not too far from Anne and Katie. My original stomping grounds are back in Nokesville, Virginia. This is my second tour of duty with BVS having originally joined in the fall of 2007 (Unit #277 - holla!). I spent the year in Alamosa, Colorado working at a shelter and food bank. Basically my entire life up to that point had been a predominantly white, middle-class experience; my time in Alamosa was oftentimes a challenge and taught me a great deal about myself and my perceptions of the world around me.

Less than a year after leaving Colorado I find myself back in BVS, this time as part of a much-anticipated intentional community house. Personally I believe that you get more out of BVS if you take on a project that you know will challenge you rather than one that you feel completely comfortable with. Because of this ideal I am now training to be a case manager for homeless families with kids. My placement is with an organization called Interfaith Hospitality Network (http://www.ihncincinnati.org/). As with any program that works with people in transition the place is a zoo at times, which was a bit overwhelming at first. After a week and a half working there I am beginning to feel like I have a clue as to what's going on around me. I'm still training on how to do the intake process for new guests; the goal is to be flying solo on intakes in another week or two. We also have a family mentoring program that we're hoping to revamp and revitalize which I'll be helping to coordinate. There are other odds and ends tidbits I'll be working on as well, but those are two of the main objectives to tackle for now.

Working with homeless families can be a real struggle mentally, emotionally, and sometimes even physically. There is never any one reason why the moms and/or dads end up in our program; it's a combination of seemingly every aspect of their life pushing them down. They fight drug addictions, deal with sick kids with no insurance, and fight for a chance to be considered credible enough to rent a one bedroom apartment that most of us would pass over without a second glance. Child support doesn't always come through, Medicaid never quite covers it all, and the bills somehow keep piling up. Faced with the daunting task of overcoming all that seems to be going against them, it's hard to imagine being positive looking to the future.

This work becomes personal for me. True, there is a line that needs to be drawn so as not to get too involved. However, to make these people and situations completely a business-like affair isn't possible. For example, I realized today that one of our guests is one day younger than I am. It makes her plight seem so much more real to look at where she is and think, "That could have been me." She has five children between the ages of three and eight. Nobody wants to rent to a single mom with five kids who can't find a job in a depressed economy, but what is she supposed to do? Yesterday I went with another guest to help her move her belongings; she had been asked to leave due to non-compliance with the program. We pulled up in front of the building and she whisked away her three kids - all under the age of three - into a building that no person of any age should be asked to live in. As I helped her carry in her earthly possessions, walking through hallways littered with garbage and up stairwells reeking of urine, I wanted to imagine that this wasn't happening. You can't see things like that and remain indifferent - it's personal.

Back to the non-work side of things... We ventured out on Saturday to Findlay Market, Ohio's oldest public market. It was about a two mile walk with some hefty hills to traverse along the way (and a couple of wrong turns). Holy cow, was it exciting to be there! There were fresh meats of every kind around, vegetable and fruit stands, gyros, gelato, spices, plants... sensory overload to the max. It kind of reminded me of the last Disaster Relief Auction I went to, but with fewer Brethren folks. We tried to check out all the vendors before doing any shopping but decided that we needed to eat lunch - it was almost 1:00 - or we'd try to buy up the entire market. We all had gyros plus Laura and I split some feta and spinach flaky bread things (sorry, Laura; I don't remember what they're called). We split up after lunch and tried to get the items on our shopping list. Fail. We got everything on the list and then some. Seriously, would you pass up delicious avocados for a dollar each? I didn't think so. On our way back home we each were laden down with a bag of delicious goods to go with our chrysanthemum which Anne and I took turns carrying. I can only imagine how conspicuous and entertaining we must have looked trudging back up and down the hills.

Here's one last story for your entertainment. Our first Sunday here I went out for a run to see what some of the places around our neighborhood looked like. At one point on my way back I took a wrong turn and got a little mixed up with road names and directions. The next thing I knew I was running on the Columbia Parkway (which I thought, at the time, was Taft - it is most definitely NOT Taft). For the visual effect, imagine a three-foot-wide sidewalk with a retaining wall on one side and four or six lanes of traffic on the other. Whee. I got off at the next possible road and made left turns at all of the intersections that looked kind of big until I found a road that I'd run on earlier. This time I did not take the wrong turn and ended up back home... an hour and 55 minutes later. I'm guessing I ran 14 or 15 miles; the original gameplan was four. I ate ice cream and cookies that night.

I'll forego all the other stories spinning through my head right now and call it a blog. Talk to y'all again in a few weeks.

Banking in the City

2009-10-17T00:21:00.003-04:00

I like to think of myself as someone who has stepped into a lot of banks. I've had accounts at several different banks from the time I was young, but my banks were the type that had donuts and coffee on saturday mornings, or Hershey Kisses at the counter for the taking.

Banking in my neighborhood in Cincinnati, a completely different story. When I got to the front door of the bank I noticed a green light on the outside of the door, didn't think anything of it, but upon further observation saw instructions below the light and a metal detector inside the door. Come to realize that Laura and I could not enter together. She entered first, closing the door behind her before passing through the metal detector to the next door. The second door would open when the light flashed green and she could enter the bank. I had to wait outside till she was inside and the door closed behind her and then I could start the process all over again. I felt like I deserved a Hershey Kiss for figuring out that system!

Welcome to Cincinnati!

Anne

2009-10-14T20:17:00.003-04:00

Welcome to Walnut Hills Happenings! Laura, Katie, Ben and I wanted to document our year in Cincinnati for family, friends, and others who are interested in the new program of Brethren Volunteer Service intentional communities.

It's our first week living together and we are all getting settled into our jobs and the city. Last weekend was nice, so we got to explore some of the beautiful Eden Park we live right next to and find our way to the local Kroger groccery store. Walking home loaded down with grocceries - in canvas bags of course - is going to get us some great exercise. Now however, it's very cold and rainy here in Cincy - why can't it just be sunny and 70 degrees all the time?

As far as work goes, Laura and I are working with the Cincinnati Church of the Brethren, so we are just getting acquainted with the church. What better way to do that than to have the children's story and children's church for two age groups to plan from start to finish for this Sunday! Though I wish it were warmer, I think we have moved in at a great time of year because we also get to coordinate a trip to a corn maze - many of the kids live in the city and don't get to see fields very often if at all - and we are having a Halloween Block Party in the park next to the church.

Check back regularly for more posts, the plan is that one of the four of us will have posting duties on the blog for a week each month, so you will get a variety of perspectives on our experience.

Anne